Monday, August 22, 2011

Let's talk about Shoes...

Did you know I love shoes?

I didn't USED to love shoes, shoes were my arch-nemesis for many many years... (something about being on crutches and only getting to wear "sensible" shoes might have something to do with it - maybe)

And I should qualify that statement...
I love the LOOK of shoes... I prefer the FEEL of barefoot. except on hot sand. ouch.

Currently I have a shelf in my closet labeled "shoes my podiatrist hates"
my over-abundance of Chucks... what can I say...
Okay, so maybe he hates ALL of my shoes except the ones he insisted I purchase.
Which I wear nearly every day... for one hour... and then they might get thrown unceremoniously back into my closet to be traded out for something I actually like. or bare feet... depending on whether or not I am getting OUT of the car that day.
Is it illegal to drive barefoot? If so, I never go anywhere without my shoes.
Or I at least have learned to keep a pair of flip-flops at hand for when I get pulled over.
"when" seemed so definitely - I meant of course "if" I get pulled over...
although anyone who has ever driven with me might rightfully argue that "when" is more accurate.
Hey, I'm sorry... but the word "Limit" has always brought out the rebel in me.

What were we talking about?

So. with this insane shoe fetish does this make me the new Imelda Marcos?
Nah... I could never afford the shoes she stuffed her closet(s) with.

Besides, I could never marry a dictator. (it's that "limit" thing again...)

Shoes don't have to be expensive for me to think they are fun... as a matter of fact some of my favorite shoes? uber cheap... and not only because with my itty bitty baby feet nobody else buys them.

ManOfTheHouse - he's got plenty of shoes... hiking shoes, biking shoes, etc...   all sensible. He's kinda boring like that.
Boring is HEAPS better than being a dictator though so I try not to let it bug me.
Does he love MY shoes? Hmmmm... well, let's just say that there might be two or three pair that he would rather I not wear if we have to be seen together.
chicken.

My kids? Well, a few of them have inherited the fun-shoe gene. Don't laugh, with all the other things that they're learning are encoded in your DNA I just KNOW that a proclivity toward funky footwear is going to be identified soon :) The Eldest (Veggie Teen) has his own "style" when it comes to shoes...

I Spy:  Cookie Monster

I Spy: Bill the Cat
 The first pair... the first day he showed up other kids asked "do your parents know you drew on your shoes?" and he'd point out the cat drawn by ManOfTheHouse and the alien I drew...
I Spy: Dharma symbol, The Yellow Submarine, Oscar the Grouch



The second pair... which are so well loved I'm not sure you can see all the detail... those went to two family reunions with us a few years ago and have contributions from a variety of sources...
I Spy: The Lorax, Calvin & Hobbes, Marvin the Martian, Tigger, Toucan Sam & Wakko Warner...

I Spy: Mike Wazowski, Gir, Apple Jacks, Ernie the Keebler Elf, Jack Skelington..

The third... the cheap junk shoes just couldn't be found...  so we had to start with some of MY fave shoes... I'm sure I had more fun with these shoes than anyone else... although I never did find out whose phone number is written on them... (obscured enough in the photo that I've protected the... hopefully innocent)

The fifth...  (ummm yeah, the fourth never got finished...  let's just ignore those ones...)
He's moved away from cartoon characters and all that fun stuff... now it's just color and funkiness...  Frankly I was a little saddened... I rather enjoy these projects that last for weeks...

but no worries, because I always have the second grader and her great love for all things Hello Kitty...
she loves 'em...  I'm thinking they need some sparkly laces :)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

And so it begins...

First Day of School!!!
that's a great lookin' bunch of kids...  y'know, from my completely unbiased point of view :)
the second grader...  who was dressed head to toe in Hello Kitty... much to the chagrin of her teenage brothers.
the fourth grader - who looks healthy as a horse.

let's not mention that she is home today with a nasty case of Strep.

my apologies to the new classmates - really...  but how do you have strep without a sore throat... or a fever?
the 6th grader - starting at the Intermediate school would stress out anyone... but not this kid.

He is finally eating his vegetables because someone told him it would help his hair grow...
the 9th grader... still at the Middle School - but needing to be shuttled off to the HS for an hour a day to take a math class that isn't offered at his own school... 
and the Junior... who is getting too tall to smack. I am trying not to think about the next few years and just enjoy him now that the worst of the teenage angst is in the past :) Happy Back to School...
Regularly Scheduled snarky blogs to resume tomorrow.   ...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A rose by any other name...

When the Universal Technical Institute decided on their name, do you think there were any women on the board? Yeah, judging by their big logo of UTI I really don't think so.   I about choked on my cereal yesterday when I heard them advertising on the radio.

In our household there is a RACE for the remote to switch channels away from uncomfortable advertising... y'know...  feminine products, etc...  it's always interesting to see the animated conversations my teenage boys will begin in order to drown out the television when such things come on :)  SO... when I heard "UTI" on the radio I was on the way there... hoping to switch it before any words such as "itching" or "burning" were mentioned... apparently I need to sit closer to the radio because by the time I got there I had only heard words like "motorcycle" and "collision"... 

Heads up to the folks at UTI.edu...  ummm, you're making the women of the world very uncomfortable every time your ad comes on the radio.

Shakespeare said that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet - and while that's technically true, the fact is that if you call it Spiderwort (yes, an actual flower exists by this name) nobody's going to get close enough to smell it anyway.

Fact:  I actually think that Spiderwort is a pretty flower... and I'm not a big fan of roses...  and Shakespeare is long dead so why am I wasting blog space arguing with the man.  I mean that of course with the utmost of respect, if I ever visit his grave I'll be sure to drop off a bouquet of spiderwort.
picture here to ensure that something nice shows up on the FB update...  you're welcome friends.

Driving around town there's a few businesses that also have me wondering...

JK Jewelers - I've already gone off on them, but in case you missed it - a place selling engagement rings probably shouldn't  be using the two letters that in this day and age mean "just kidding"... 
sorry, bad picture quality... it was dark outside!

Porras Welding - ummm...  depending on how I pronounce this I have little to no confidence in your actual welding ability...  "porous" is my BEST assumption... and I'm no welding expert, but that doesn't sound good!

And this one...

Which I was pretty sure was illegal around here... besides, I think they prefer the title "professional escort"... maybe that just didn't fit on the sign?




Monday, August 8, 2011

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do...

okay, honestly... I don't remember it being THAT hard...
Depending on the guy I guess...

Especially now that so many years have passed and I no longer feel emotionally attached to any of those creeps... 
a simple "outta here" and I was... well, outta there.

These days?  These days it's a bit harder.

Don't get all worried about me, I'm still a happily married blogger... really.

I'm talking about breaking up with my hairdresser!

 Good hairdressers are hard to find... if you've known me for long you might have been witness to a few hair colors, more than a few cuts, and even a disastrous perm or two...  but finally, I found someone who could work magic on my hair.

really, I've been THRILLED with my last few "dos"... perfect sassy short hair in back, angling toward just enough hair in front to satisfy my need for femininity... and with a few slashes of color here and there to sate my desire for rebellion.

It was a good thing while it lasted... really.

I had such a rush of excitement each time we'd meet up...   momentarily forgetting the pain it would cause later (the credit card statement)...

It just didn't last...  and sometimes I came away feeling just way too stinkin' blonde...
 
I just didn't feel the thrill of it anymore... the "zing" was gone...

I had to try something new...  I was secretive about it...  I avoided driving by for fear she'd look out the window and see my car, and wonder if I was going to come in...

and finally... finally I let someone else cut my hair...

Turns out I don't like it at all this time around.

Y'think she'll take me back?  Will she ever forgive me?  Should I just accept defeat and grow my hair down to my ankles?  Is that as pathetic as it sounds?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I'll use all the Words I Want Wednesday, thank you very much!

I seem to be making excuses all the time for why I'm not writing lengthy epistles about my life...

and today is no different...

You see I spent last week at Girls' Camp...  something my church does annually to prove that dirt won't kill you.

The bunks...

a little F.A.Q. - yes, they ARE stacked three high - no, there is no head room - yes, you can add some padding if you brought any - yes, I did bring some - no, not nearly enough - Yes, yes indeed, I could commit a heinous crime and have more personal space - and yes, there were a few moments where that was a temptation.

and now you know why I'm STILL tired.  Seriously, it was my own fault that I stayed up 'til ridiculous hours laughing around a campfire, but sleeping on those bunks?  *shudder* - next year I think I'll just sleep in my car.
The unexpected side-trip...
okay, so it wasn't ALWAYS a nice campfire and good conversation that kept us up into the wee hours of the morning.  The first night I blame it all on this sweet girl...  who by the time this picture was taken had been at camp for all of TEN minutes, gashed a hole in her knee, and received 6 stitches.  (the doctor said it needed 5... but 6 is her favorite number...  funny doctors make things a lot better!)

those of you who are paying close attention (and have been reading around here for a LONG time) will recognize my "cozy" wrapped around her shoulders... this was a HUGE thing for me...  I must love these girls a LOT :)  (haha, and completely off the camping subject, I just found out that post is the very first result if you google "snuggie smackdown")
The cute girls with happy smiles!
and you can see why I love them so...  even if I did end up with the icky "golden" leader shirt...  (that's me on the left balancing precariously on the edge of the table)

I'd share all the funny stories - but since some of my friends/leaders/my own spouse occasionally read this blog and since many of the funny stories MIGHT implicate others...  they'll just have to remain in my head... unless of course you come hang out... in which case prepare to be regaled with stories of fake blood, fireworks, bush-diving, and Karma finally getting her revenge...


For the record... I remain unconvinced on the whole "dirt won't kill you" thing...