Monday, January 4, 2010

Service with a Snark

so... yeah, it's been forever and a day. sorry, really. It's been... well, it's been.

The GOOD news is that I feel great - all those doctors appointments are a thing of the past. Perhaps this is because my insurance co-pay will have to be satisfied all over again with the new year? That might have something to do with it...

but mostly I just feel like the doctors are all "plushing" me...

what? you say that's not a term you're familiar with??? Ahh... well, let's give you the short version (and family readers may recognize the characters... so I'm protecting names to protect the not so innocent)

When my brother in law was in college he worked for a carpet cleaning company... "plush" by name - and would occasionally be cleaning a carpet where a spot or two just wasn't going to come out. The owners of said carpets would often remark on said spot and ask why his wonderful machine didn't work miracles... But B.I.L. was crafty like the Grinch and he "thought up a lie and he thought it up quick" about how the sun would bleach a spot or sometimes how the sun would cause a dark spot on the carpet that just couldn't be removed.

See - my doctors are "plushing" me - my earaches? Yeah - the words sound good at the time but I still feel like I've been patted on the head and sent off to bed with my cup of water...

BUT despite all of this I have a story to tell... because I LOVE to tell stories... especially when they're about not so wonderful customer service at stores whose name I won't mention...

I will however mention that MY name for the unmentionable store is "came apart" - and that if you take out just one little syllable ("ap") you might be able to guess which unmentionable store I speak of.

Normally this is not my store of choice - mostly because I've had some run-ins with bad service there in the past... but I had 30 minutes to kill between doctors visits and popped in to see if they had any clearance Christmas lights to replace all of the ones that I was pretty sure I was going to hurl from a tall building in a single bound if I ever had to change another fuse (yeah, like THAT does anything!)

While in the store (which had NO lights btw) I walked around and noticed a great sale on Jeans... not a brand I was overly fond of... but given the fact that I have exactly ONE pair of jeans that is full length (I'm a cropped jeans girl normally) and considering the fact that is has been COLD... and considering the fact that now that my podiatrist will KILL me for wearing shoes that are even remotely cute... I really needed another pair of jeans. Did I mention it was a SMOKING deal?

well, jeans in hand I waltz up to the register. (waltz? okay, maybe I sauntered... or just walked...) I plunk down the jeans and the girl behind the counter says...
(wait for it...)

"Man - I wish that the Jeans I'm willing to wear only cost $15"

My possible responses at this point are either ridiculously rude "yeah, I considered spending a hundred bucks on jeans too, but then I remembered that I needed to save for school so I wouldn't forever be stuck in a dead-end job like working at Kmart!" (ooops, mentioned the name after all. dang - and that was supposed to be a secret!) or just lame "ummm... yeah, well... these are for my neighbor's daughter's hairdresser's niece..."

didn't say either... think I muttered something about them being my pre-diet jeans... (which is true) but kind of wish I'd gone with the first one... except that if we want to compare "dead end jobs" I think Kmart might be a step up... (mine is MUCH more fun... but not getting me anywhere!)

So my hat is off to the wonderful customer service at Kmart - because nothing says service like "oh my GOSH - I can't believe the junk we sell - I certainly wouldn't wear it... but have a nice day!"

and you have a nice day too... really. I plan to wear my cheap jeans with pride!