Getting in the Spirit - of Contention

I'll have you know I wrote this wonderfully long post last night - and then scrapped it all this morning after realizing that nobody really wants to hear about the lady at the choir concert last night... the one who was in danger of a throat punch a'la Shelle style...

Who cares if she was uber-rude and I ended up with a picture of her kids backside instead of a picture of my darling smiling daughter.  In the end I can brush it all off and think generous thoughts.  I can think about what a great view of the concert her kid now had...  because before he was having to view it from front row ground level and now he could enjoy it from front row my face level.  See, I'm good at this generous thought thing.

Right...

So what is it with this "spirit of the season" thing anyway?  I mean... shouldn't we ALWAYS think wonderful thoughts about our fellow man?  shouldn't we ALWAYS want to lift people up instead of punch them in their throats?

I mean... I wouldn't have felt nearly as guilty about wanting to take her down back in August right?  August is a FINE time to want to maim your fellow man right?

But now I'm supposed to think wonderful thoughts about people who crowd the front row (even though they're a full foot and a half taller than the folks behind them)

Ahhh... 'tis the season for being a doormat...

you like?  it's at cocomatsnmore.com

okay, so maybe being kind is not really akin to being a doormat...  but sometimes it FEELS that way when you'd much rather punch them in the throat than smile and walk away. 

No really, so someone needs to tell me... is it possible to get into the "spirit of the season" when all of the little events (concerts/recitals/parties/etc...) are just causing more stress?  At what point do I lock my family inside and force them to drink hot apple cider and sing O Christmas Tree at the top of their lungs?

really... I know... it's not my own photo (I'm hoping they don't mind so much since I told you where to find the doormat, there are LOTS of funny ones there!) but really... the only other option I had was to share with you the backside photo I got at the concert. You're very welcome.

...and Away They All Flew Like the Down of a Thistle... that can't be right...

I grew up in the country... so I actually know what thistle is... but I'm not sure I've ever seen the down flying anywhere...  Perhaps I was an unobservant child?  Perhaps it just wasn't windy enough?  Perhaps Clement C. Moore is a crazy loon?

Whatever the reason - the wind or the loon - it's irrelevant.  I've finally gotten to the bottom of it.  It's a spelling mistake.

We know... because the holiday season just hasn't truly begun until one thing happens.  The holidays are all about sharing... and it CLEARLY should read thusly:

"And Away They All Flu" -

Santa is taking precautions too!

and on that note - just be very glad that the flu virus is hard to spread via the internet.  but if you're worried... that Relenza antiviral nose spray can probably also be applied to your screen.*

*do NOT try this at home... really.

The Day The Music Died: a.k.a. we're shopping for a new guitar

Remember how sad the VeggieTeen was in his picture we took at Kiss Me Kate?

this is why.

his acoustic guitar is his best friend.  I'm not sure I'm kidding about that.

after guitar class it was left in the music room - he went to ceramics and picked up the guitar before coming home...  where a snack (4 bagels with cream cheese) was necessary before anything else happened.  Just enough time before running off to the play to strum a little tune or two... and this is what he finds.

I don't think he cried.  If he did I don't blame him really... but he was only crying sneaky tears because I never saw them.  Is it weird that I am more upset about this than he is?  and no... not just because I now have to buy a new guitar (though that DOES suck rocks).  And not just because now he plays his other guitar (electric... louder...)  more...  I hate watching my kids "be tough" through something that makes me want to wail and gnash my teeth.  15 is apparently too old to go and bury your head in your mom's shoulder and weep... 

I wish it wasn't.

The Good News?  at least he now knows what he wants for Christmas... I mean besides his very own Whack-a-Mole game.



would like to beat the child who broke this...  but won't... but mostly because nobody will ever fess up.  Especially now that I've threatened them... shoot, I take it back.

Happy Thanksgiving, the snarky version

sorry, sick and wrong though it may be...  it made me laugh. 

and I'm thankful for laughter.

Why I don't have a decorating blog

oh c'mon... you've seen 'em... maybe one of you (miss heidi) even HAS one... those blogs that talk about what crafty little souls you are - how you can grab a piece of junky looking furniture off the street before the garbage man comes - throw a little sandpaper and paint around and BOOM - shabby chic!

if I tried that... there'd be a lot more shabby than chic, that's all I can guarantee.

don't get me wrong - I like to decorate as much as the next person... maybe even more than the next person... depending on who's next  I guess.  I considered going to school to become an interior designer after all.  (somewhere between considering becoming an actress and becoming a rocket scientist) and I might even have an "eye" for these things...  or maybe not...

and some of you didn't believe I had an orange room in that poem...

I know, I know... gorgeous right?  (hey, if you think it's hideous - just keep it to yourself... if you haven't noticed I've got what we call a "fragile ego"...  you can send it to all your friends and make fun of it behind my back - as long as I never find out)

The problem?  well, with the exception of that little turkey down in the corner... the rest stays.  all - year - long.  Don't you think the Gobble sign is perfect for my kitchen?  Fine, so the gobble sign gets packed away too...

It just so happens that I love autumn and that is reflected in my orange/brown/green decor...  we painted it this way years ago and despite how nasty it looks at Easter time... and how it does NOT make a nice background for a Christmas tree...  I just love the way it looks this time of year so much that I can't seem to pick any new colors.  Or maybe I'm just old and set in my ways?  I'm just glad I didn't get stuck back when my favorite color was lavender... those were some UGLY years (hey, I was in 7th grade...  there was a lot of Ugly going around...  think legwarmers... oh wait, those are coming back???)

Kiss Me Kate

wait... hold on - if you happen to be named Kate I just want to clear something up. I mean... I'm sure you're a nice person and all... but the title of this post isn't about you and should in no way be considered an invitation.

glad we got that straight :)

Kiss Me Kate is actually the fall musical that just wrapped at my son's school. The same son that I just had to go wake up for classes. Thank goodness for assembly schedule!

Some weeks ago (don't ask how many... math and I are not chummy today) they started auditions for the fall musical. My son didn't pay much attention and apparently has no great acting ambitions because on day one (the acting auditions) he didn't go. Somehow a friend convinced him on day two (dance auditions) to go... just for "kicks and giggles"... he came home insistent that dancing was NOT his thing. Day three (singing auditions) I was a little disappointed when he came straight home from school rather than staying and living out my childhood dream of being in every play, musical and opportunity to be the center of attention. (don't act surprised... I'm a horrible glory hog and I know it)

You know when I was young and I DIDN'T get a part (okay, so sometimes I did... but let's focus on the disappointing times for now...) and all my guy friends were busy with rehearsals - I would always console myself that it was easier for guys... more roles, fewer guys = more likelihood of being cast.

maybe that's true - or maybe my kid just amazed the director with his soft shoe - because he was cast... true, as an ensemble member. Turns out he doesn't have my need for the spotlight - and he was happy.

taken from the program... but I snapped the picture OF the program, so that makes it okay... right????

Actually - I think he loved it.  He's certainly been a model teenager these past many weeks - no joke!  I think this is my reward for not selling him at age 13.

So how WAS the show?  After all my years studying theatre in college and actually working in a theatre - I'm a horrible critic - but all I'm going to say is that my son took the BEST prat fall since Dick Van Dyke.

He wasn't looking thrilled...  that's a post for another day...

Oh, and the lead?  She ROCKED the "I Hate Men" song... seriously.  High School Theatre has certainly improved since my school put on Grease...  by LEAPS and bounds!

that was an AMAZING backdrop... rented, of course :)

and thus ends the show...  Cast - Director - Orchestra...  you all rocked it guys!!!!

a little help from a little friend

This blog is apparently a whole family effort this week...

At our house we are frugal... you want to call it cheap - be my guest... I have five kids...   so sometimes I get a little chintzy on name brands...  ManOfTheHouse won't eat generic Cheerios - they just aren't the same... but our little 6 year old M thinks that Honey Nut Scooters are an acceptable substitute...

Yesterday I poured her cereal in her bowl - got her settled and went to do a few things (yes, I was probably cruising blogs...  so sue me). 

A few minutes later she comes to me and INSISTS that I come and see what she has done with her Scooters...  and "mom, you can take a picture and put it on your blog" (awww... she's so helpful... but now I'm afraid...)

No need to fear... Look what she managed to create...

A Scooter Scooter

when she graduates - forget money, trips, or a car... I'm going to give her a box of Life Cereal... she can make of it what she will.

Daniel Radcliffe's Rear? What the What???

Notice: all opinions expressed herein are just opinions... based on rumor mostly... and we'll all see together how it turns out.  Could be I've had a hyper-reactive week...

Another Notice - this is probably not funny in the least - but since I was asked for movie feedback... here it is...  if you've read the book - you've got all the spoilers already, if you haven't read the book... well, lucky you - because this post is certified spoiler free...

Last Friday: my much younger and more hip and with it cousin posts on Facebook...

Just read that there is 2 nude scenes in the new harry potter....."Why" seems to be an appropriate response.

my immediate reaction - "haha, what a joke - they would never..."  and then "oh crap, I don't think he's kidding"  oh, and "change that "is" to an "are" could ya?  thanks.

so I ask for a link... because I'm suspicious like that.  I don't mention the is/are thing.

and I get a link...

Will Nude Harry Potter Scene put off Families?

now I'm thinking:  Seriously?  I don't remember any nude dancing in the book?

My brain just can't come up with a reason (other than the cunning and crafty plan of the Master of all Lies to drag me speedily down...) for nudity to be in this movie??  I'm just struggling here!

My 15 year old and I already have tickets for the Midnight show (yep, I'm a glutton for punishment... and I don't like sleeping apparently)
My 13 year old will be going on Friday with a friend... a nice friend from a good family who I don't want to have to discuss nudity with.
My 11 year old has spent the past week busting his (fully clothed) butt to finish this book before the movie was released.  Our house rule:  if you haven't read it, you're not watching it!  This has not only done WONDERS for their willingness to read, but has saved us a TON of money on theatre popcorn.  (oh, and tickets...)

Wednesday:  another friend asks about these rumors on facebook - I send her "the link"

and I just maybe was the originator of the hashtag #acciopants on twitter... maybe.
(and for my non-twitter friends... no, hashtags are nothing like hashbrowns... sorry)
but seriously...  can you believe that witty little tag didn't go viral??  what's with that?

Thursday:  second friend has obviously spent more actual man hours in her research and perhaps less time in wild worry that she will be "exposing" her 15 year old to more than we bargained for when we got these tickets...  Another link was shared.

The Fake Uproar over Harry Potter's Nude Scene

Me?  reacting?  I'm so done with reacting...  Really...
#1 - to insinuate that because the actress was wearing a strapless bra during filming makes it not a nude scene is ridiculous... don't patronize me.  Of COURSE I didn't think I was going to see full frontal nudity - I DO know how the rating system works.  will my boys assume that clothing is there?  yeah, they're boys...  you do the math.
#1.5 (too lazy to go re-number) - oh... okay, so this WAS sort of in the book... just not so... well...  undressed. 
#2 - oh phew... seeing naked shoulders I can handle...  and the 15 year old can handle...
#3 - please, please, please let that be all I have to see - the question of heinies is still up in the air.

Also Thursday:  I need a nap!

So... there's where it's at - in 11.5 hours I will be watching the many many previews waiting for this movie to finally begin....  and then - then we will see if I'm a completely over-reacting ninny or not.

And then tomorrow - I'll actually finish this post...

is it tomorrow yet?

well, technically it is...  3:15 a.m. to be exact - okay, "exact" might not be quite true.  it's 3:17.  But I'm ready for everyone to tear into me for my prudish ways... bring it on... I'll probably sleep through it anyway.

The Movie?  You really want to know?
I teared up at the first "obliviate"...

and I enjoyed 97% of the movie fully.

The "scene"?  Not so much.  I asked 15 year old to rate it on a discomfort scale of 1 to 10...  10 being "get me out of here now" and 1 being "Cinderella" - his answer:  8 or 9.  Now, remember that he WAS sitting next to his mother during that scene... which didn't exactly stop at the unclothed shoulders...  and the strapless bra... they photoshopped it out apparently because there was no evidence of it

The 3 other teenagers I drove home after the movie... ALL uncomfortable with that scene.  Considering the fact that they were discussing it freely with me I was a little surprised... but yeah, none of them wanted their younger siblings to go to the movie.  Feel free to close your eyes when Harry starts hissing like a snake to a piece of jewelry... 

Was it "integral" as one reviewer said?  Hardly - the same could have been accomplished with much simpler, more touching (less lestful) gestures between dreamHarry and dreamHermione...

Smoky, lusty, almost cartoon like characters making out (oh wait, I mean Snogging) in the nude - is still nude... and yes, I was uncomfortable.  More importantly - I wasn't the only one uncomfortable...

There you have it - the movie is over... coincidentally it ends at about the same point where I threw my book across the porch and broke the binding...  and yes, that particular event made me cry in the film too.

Now if I could just obliviate that one scene from my mind I'd be able to recommend it fully.
  Yep, just the ONE scene, we don't get any shots of Dan's rear (thank you!) - but a few of him shirtless... and I'm not one to judge, but if I were going to be having my abs filmed for all the world to see... I'd maybe lift a few weights...  eat a few less pastries from craft services... y'know?

brain slump & supporting your local therapists...

I'd like to blame it on something - but the fact is it's just me...  some days nothing brilliantly hilarious comes to mind.

I drove my 15 year old to school today (his first play performance today!!!) and mentioned that I had nothing to blog about.  His eyes dart along the street and this is what happens:

Teen - Blog about... hmmm... Big Wheels!
Me - But I don't know anything about Big Wheels, I've never owned a Big Wheel...
Teen - (assuming the dramatic Freudian pose) And how do you feel about that?
Me - 'meh - yeah... don't care.

See, I fully recovered from my childhood Big Wheel disappointment!  Without a therapist!  My parents will be so thrilled!

For my part - as a parent - I am doing all that I can to support the therapists of the future.

My kids never know whether or not I want them to leave the door open or to shut it FAST.  It makes perfect sense to me... if I'm paying for the A/C or the Heater - shut it fast... If I'm trying to use the good weather as my A/C or Heater - leave it open.  Is it too much to expect the children to go and check the settings and the bills to see whether or not it's a Door Open or a Door Closed day?  Really...  too much huh?  Guess we'll just use our Mom Scream at the Top of Her Lungs method... it's worked thus far.

Other things I do to ensure the survival of another generation of therapists?
1-take pictures when they make huge messes THEN scold them for their naughtiness.*
2-send jackets in their backpacks on cold mornings which become warm days.
3-"guys, that's enough screen time, shut off the TV - and then come here and see this funny I found on youTube"
4 -"no, I'm not buying you a sugary ice cream cone unless you eat your dinner!  Now finish up those deep fat fried chicken nuggets - the trans-fat laden fries - and the bubbly soda so I know you have something 'good' in you before dessert."**

***

Future therapists?  you're. welcome.

*okay... so we don't actually do this anymore - but I won't deny that it ever happened...
** this either. really.
***image created by me, with a lot of help from VistaPrint...

Why I don't have a poetry blog!

the truth of the matter
and it's proven once again
my rhymes are pathetic
I'm no good with a pen
for meter I've got but little use
everything comes out
sounding like Seuss.*

and so I'll happily
stick to my prose
no blue violets
nor a silly red rose
I'll tell you my stories
from my room painted orange
with humor and wit
but no... oh crap...


*my apologies to Seuss... and his whole family

Serious Sunday - hey, it's gotta happen someday right?

I have had a wild and crazy week... parties, pampering, making a fool out of myself...

but that's a story for another day.

Today?  Today I am just in awe of how lucky I am...  how blessed I am that yet another week has passed in my life.  Yes, ManOfTheHouse has been sick - but he is here, he has a good job, and he's a good man.  Can I complain about a little phlegm in light of that?  (well, okay, maybe... but not for long)  My 5 kids all go through their cycles of driving me crazy - but as I sit here typing I can hear the Teen  practicing piano (getting mostly correct notes), Po and H are arguing a little, and M is hungry... rumor has it that W might be sleeping still...  but you know what...  I'm grateful for every missed note, every muttered "whatever", every growling tummy, and even every lazy snore...

The internet has been such a communication tool in life - has connected me to people I'd thought lost (thank you Facebook) and connected me to people I would have never known and somehow would have been less without (thank you blogging).  Does this make me a cyber geek?  who cares - because let's be honest... if you're reading this... you've got just a touch of that geeky bug too.

I've been blessed to share in joys as friends have given birth - gotten married -bought new homes - and welcomes cute pets into their lives (better their lives than mine!)

This week... this week has been difficult for some of my friends...

I've watched as one dear friend has struggled with her son's diagnosis - leukemia - as it has consumed their lives this past week... and as so many around them have come to their aid... their strength is amazing.

and I've cried for another blogger who has lost a son...  and hope that through all of this she will know of our love and support.

Will my kids fuss and argue in church today?  I don't need a magic 8 ball to tell me yes...  it's a given... there aren't enough cheerios and dry erase boards in the world to keep my kids reverent (we're getting a tad too old for cheerios... I know) but it doesn't matter today...  today (and hopefully for always) I want to sit there and remember how blessed I am, I want to sit there and remember what He has done for us, and I want to hold my kids a little closer.

Why I don't have a food blog...

There is so much talk about what kind of a blogger someone is... I've got it narrowed down to a lot of kind of bloggers I'm NOT...  Today:  Why I'm not a food blogger... part 1  (because it was getting way too long and the topsy turvy cake really deserves its own post)

I'm not "useless" in the kitchen, really... I can whip up a nutritious and delicious (don't listen to the kids) meal in no time flat...  if I feel like it.

I just rarely feel like it.

I think that the good people over at My Blog Spark must have heard the rumors... maybe ManOfTheHouse sent a strongly worded letter... either way they were kind enough to send me a little package containing some Lemon Pepper Panko breading and a Big (holy cow, did I mention it was BIG) Cookbook by famous chef-dude Michael Chiarello for inspiration.

It took me a few days to be prepared enough to actually USE the breading - because I had to actually have the chicken thawed and sliced...  what I really wanted was salmon... but that requires going to the only store in town that actually sells quality salmon - you know, that store that I find WAY too much at that I "need" and can't get out without spending less than $150...  and if I need toilet paper today and buy it, the good news is I shouldn't need it again for 6 months!  (anyone "need" some lettuce - 5 heads?  seriously?) 

Where was I again... oh yeah... cooking... I'm easily distractable...  at least when my mind wanders on my blog the smoke alarm doesn't go off.

ManOfTheHouse actually did 85% of the work...  because dipping something in egg wash - then flour - then breading has a tendency to leave a film (about an inch thick) on the fingers...  which I find a tad on the nasty side.

The man's fingers looked gross, but the chicken fingers looked yummy - and smelled delicious - so delicious that we generously coated the chicken (and some slices of potato for Teen Vegetarian - yes I did do the potatoes FIRST... wouldn't want to accidentally contaminate him or something, pshhhh....

hmmm... so I'm not a food photographer... get over it.

and it tasted delicious - as long as you're old enough to have grown taste buds.  the kids are SO picky!  Truthfully, our "generous coating" might have been a bit too generous.  Spicy isn't appreciated in the under 16 set (that'd be all of them).

So I took the leftovers...  made up a simple bechamel sauce, (that's code for opening a jar of white sauce) sliced the coated chicken paper thin, and created a pasta sauce that Michael Chiarello would be jealous of!  Seriously - I would have ordered this in a restaurant.  I liked it SO much that I didn't take pictures... you'll just have to imagine the creamy ivory sauce poured over Penne noodles in an avocado green bowl...  I may not be a world famous chef but I DO have some gorgeous serving dishes!

What's that you ask???  Did the kids eat this?  whatever... we're training our children to survive on corn chips and whatever non-poisonous insects they can trap.
Actually, I think 3 of them ate this quite well... and if you consider that one is a vegetarian and one was having an hour long cry over it not being "Taco Tuesday" (it was Saturday!) then that's actually pretty darn good!

Not enough evidence against me starting my very own cooking blog?  Since I'm so handy in the kitchen and all...

how's this?

now, normally - the layering of stuffing, turkey and mashed potatoes - covered in Yams would make me want to Yog... but... since we're hosting Thanksgiving at our house this year... it's actually starting to appeal... it'll  certainly cut down on the number of serving dishes I have to wash and worry about breaking.

The bonus?  everyone will have saved room for dessert...

Just wait until you see the Pumppleberry pie I'm making :)

*please, if you're among the family members planning on eating at my house - plan on eating lots - it will not resemble a cake in any way, I promise. Lemon Pepper Panko Turkey actually would be yummy :)


**oh, and if your child is under 12... sorry, they will get a paper plate... don't take offense... it's just that I like my dishes - and I want to keep liking my nieces and nephews :)

*** and for anyone who cares (the FCC... who isn't really a blog follower so why does it matter) I did get the book and the Panko breading as a promotional item from General Mills (through MyBlogSpark) - with the understanding that I would write about it... or not... I chose to.  I was under no obligation to actually like it or say anything nice at all.  Niceties and the fact that I found it tasty are 100% my own.


****oh and the photo disclaimer - the first came from the MyBlogSpark website (with their permission - nay... encouragement)  - the next two are mine - and the last one came from this other non-cooking blog.


*****I need a nap!

Stress VS Anticipation...

When I was not yet 18 a few of my friends and I started teaching Primary at church - for those of you not in the "know" this is LDS lingo for where all the young kids are locked up while their parents enjoy a few hours of leisurely classes of their own.

Okay... so we don't lock them up...  and they actually get their own lessons, even snacks for those really little ones... and a LOT of singing.

At 17 this was a kick - I felt very "official" being a teacher - and I enjoyed it until the day I went to college... 

In college we had entire church congregations made of only students... so let me ask you how on earth it is that I was teaching Primary again?   there were 5 kids...  all belonging to the few couples that served in leadership roles...  and I was their teacher. 

No longer 17, the "kick" was somewhat absent... but hey, out of these hundreds of students they trusted ME (okay, and one other chick... she's not vital to this story) with their children... wasn't that flattering?  wasn't it?

Out of college and married we moved to Colorado - where I taught Primary and was the Primary Secretary.

Moved to Kansas... and yes, you guessed it... Primary.

Moved to Utah...  was only in the congregation for about 6 months, but managed to be in Primary anyway...

Moved to Washington... where apparently they saw the big "I love Primary" stamp on my forehead... because not only did I teach in Primary and then serve as the Secretary, but then they put me in CHARGE of the stinkin' thing. 

Moved here... 

No surprises:  Primary again, teaching, scouts (which is really just part of primary guys), leading the music... all primary - all the time.  I should probably mention that I'm not exactly talented at leading music.

Leading Music in primary reminds me a lot of Singing at Dinner Theatre...  you may be singing your heart out - but there are at least 37 different conversations going on around you.


Thursday I received a phone call... 

Friday I stressed

Saturday I anticipated a BIG change...

Sunday morning I made plans... had it narrowed down to two new callings (a.k.a. church jobs) that they could want me to fill...  and I had to talk myself out of being excited...

Sunday 10:30 - my new gig?  Ummm... nothing. 

Really?  what the what?  Nothing.  Apparently I get a break... a vacation... the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. 

Sigh of relief - walk to the car.

The key wasn't even in the ignition before I realized that "vacation" is really just code for "be afraid... be very afraid..."

the school house is rockin'...

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE school house rock. I grew up singing "I'm just a Bill" and "Interplanet Janet"... I still hum a little "Conjunction Junction" or "Lolly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here" when the mood strikes (you know, when I'm teaching the kids about these concepts...)

So when Po came home yesterday and wanted help memorizing the Preamble to the Constitution... well, School House Rocks to the rescue!!!

The Preamble, only the preamble, and nothing but the preamble can be found on youTube... for some reason it isn't interested in embedding itself here... sorry.

Only one little problem...  the words are wrong folks.  All these years and I didn't know I had the preamble memorized incorrectly???   No, they're not WAY wrong...  they just leave out 4 little words "of the United States"... which seems a little vital, don't you think?

And I might have been suffering from a little Mondegreen Moment because I distinctly remember singing "do or die" instead of "Do ordain" as a child...  go figure...  perhaps I shouldn't have relied on School House Rocks for all of my education?  Next you'll be telling me that Mr. Morton isn't a subject after all???

Don't worry - I'm still a good citizen... I even voted.

For 3 reasons:  #1 - if you don't vote, you can't complain... and I like to complain.  #2 - the cupcakery (The Sweet Tooth Fairy) was giving away free cupcakes to anyone who walked in with an "I Voted" sticker... and it was easier to vote than to borrow someone's sticker. and #3 - I like to vote, because voting day means that soon all those political signs littering our roadways will soon disappear.  Good riddance.