Sunday, October 11, 2009

Animal Magnetism - among other things...

If I'm in a room FULL of people and the family cat or dog walks into the room, guess who it always comes to? Each - and - every - time... ManOfTheHouse gets a great kick out of this phenomenon because in a world of cat people vs. dog people - I am neither. Does that make me a people person?

Awhile back I was enjoying my morning walk and about half way around the park a cat came to join us. This cat had either a death wish or brain damage because it spent the next 10 minutes or so walking either immediately to the right or left of me... the most exciting part of this was when it moved from right to left - then left to right... I'm still shocked that I didn't trip on it... or step on it... or drop kick it into the volleyball court. (For old college friends that are reading this - I promise, it's not considered animal cruelty because I knew the cat would land on its feet!) That same week I was in a neighbor's home and their huge dog the size of Marmaduke must have thought I was his best friend... too big to drop kick, but I did give him a shove or two in the opposite direction and finally the owner locked him in the garage.

Why is this funny? I've often wondered myself why the M.O.T.H. is so amused... but here, I'll tell you why HE thinks it's funny. I REALLY detest most critters - besides the fact that my allergies send me drinking benadryl out of a paper bag on street corners - the animals themselves just annoy me. With apologies to those of you who love little Fido or Mittens like they're your children - I just don't see it... I mean, do you look forward to the day when Fido or Mittens graduates so that you can turn their room into the sewing room? (yes, I'm feeling a bit cynical this week... sorry!)

Not only are animals attracted to me - apparently so is every BAD driver in town. Or maybe it's just the folks that I have been driving with... could that be it??? A co-worker (commonly known as the boss-lady) accused me of driving around in stealth mode after being nearly side swiped TWICE in one day.

The very first time I was nearly smashed in a round-about... and if your city doesn't have these "innovations of transportation" I want you to do something right now (well, after you finish reading my blog) - Write a letter to your city planner and thank them profusely. Seriously. The concept is fine, but the actual use of these things is like icy roads... not everyone should be allowed to drive on them! Thankfully my other co-worker R.L. was in the backseat and took care of instructing the offending driver in where to go... or at least that's what I inferred from the reaction of the other 3 passengers - I was too busy freaking out to listen. Unfortunately R.L. has not been with us for all future near-death car trips - prompting the new office phrase to be "where's R.L. when you need her?"

Other than being attacked by stray felines and nearly driven off the road by their stray-brained owners... life has been, well... "normal"??? By normal of course I mean "ironic" because as I was having all kinds of fun at physical therapy (for a long ago ankle injury) I got a phone call from my son at school... he'd just sprained his ankle! Yikes!

Funny Story - or at least sort of funny, I'll be laughing about it in a few weeks I'm sure: T Jr. rolls his ankle in his weight training class - then hops up to the teacher (a substitute) and tells him he's hurt his ankle and asks what he should do? The Sub: "well, work on your arms"

not kidding. wish I were.

moron.

The REAL coach - he was out with the swine flu. We were a little annoyed with this tidbit of information since he's also a neighbor of ours... then in the last week we realize about 6 of the neighbor kids are down with the swine flu... make that 7 because now W is hacking up a lung. Ugh. The joys of motherhood!

and yes, I DO realize I'm supposed to be calling it H1N1 - yeah, right - when pigs fly...

thanks again to all my wonderful blog readers/friends/family/neighbors/angels in disguise for all of the support and words of comfort - it's meant the world to me... I'm trying to be a better bloggist this week... hmmm... maybe I should have split this post up a tad instead of hitting you with it all at once??? Thanks for sticking with it :)

21 comments:

Chelsi said...

If you've ever driven in Australia, you'd know that the problem isn't the roundabout. It's that we haven't been trained in how to use them. They didn't pop up here until most of our drivers were out of drivers' ed. They should have online classes, or something. :o)

cold cocoa said...

I love roundabouts, though I always have a little bit of anxiety as I get through them, hoping everyone is following the same rules.

Sorry about the malaise at your home! I hope we all get our swine flu shots in time, because the breakout is definitely happening!

Pam said...

I have been teetering back and forth about writing about animals. I really enjoyed this post!

April said...

I LOVE my dog. When she's not sleeping on my couch or when I don't see her muddy foot prints on my nice clean floor. (We got rid of {put to sleep} a dog because the dog decided that it's excrement was more tasty than her food. true. story.)

And cats...well I just heard my favorite cat bumper sticker from my son....."I like cats, but I still can't quite eat a whole one". I grew up with 3 cats....I have horrible allergies....nuff said.

I have missed your wittiness and sarcasm! Hope you are swine flu free!

S said...

I have so missed you and all your stories! I'll have to tell you what the allergist told us about H1N1, you won't like one bit,;)

I hope your ankle is getting better.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I love roundabouts! Sorry you have such a hard time with them WITH other people trying to kill you:(

My mother is the same way with animals, she doesn't really like them, but they LOVE her! :)

T said...

okay - roundabouts are just fine, as long as each and every person using them understands the concept... I'm willing to bet that 50% of this town doesn't... Thus the frustrations :)

April - that is the FUNNIEST bumper sticker I've heard of in a long time!

S - ACK! I forgot to bring your book back today and I NEED to know what the allergist said since both T AND W seem to be down with it now... grrrrrrr....

mariann and Tory said...

Round abouts are stupid! They are pleaseing to the eyes, but seriously, no one knows how to use them!! Drives me crazy!

mariann and Tory said...

P.S.
Wasn't T at church today? And if he has swine flu, let me know so we can get into the Doc cuz Makayla was exposed to him.

Heather B said...

Greetings from the land of roundabouts! Welcome to my world, my dear...

We even had to attend a driving briefing before they'd let us loose on the roads here, but given all the scraped up cars we see, and the number of accidents close to the bases, I'm not too sure those young men remembered much! Take care, and good luck with the swine flu. yuck.

Homer and Queen said...

I hate round abouts and cats. Cats follow me too. Sorry I missed you guys at the game, hope to meet you soon...I'll buy lunch!

Michelle said...

My engineer father told me cities get federal? money for having them. The more a city has, the more money they get. They also get rated higher on the best places to live. Hmmmm, sounds fishy to me since they often cause the accident instead of prevent them like they are supposed to do.

Barbaloot said...

Roundabouts are the worst---and for some reason they're popping up ALL over Orem and Provo these days? Why?

I hate pets---I never want any. I don't like when dogs come up to me, and I hate when they lick me. Yuck.

Megz said...

I love the roundabout in Provo that has this huge landscaping project right in the middle so you can't seen around at all...
Anyhoo--love the story about T's ankle! sounds like my kind of teacher.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

My next door neighbor had a dog the size of a horse. True story. And I hate that dog always wants to smell my but. Seriously what the what.

Hope everyone at your house recovers soon. We are all sick here as well. Joy.

T said...

Ack - now I have to add "guilt" to my list of things to do today - Yes Mariann - he was at church... let's hope that their contact was limited! (this is where nobody better tell me that my kid is smooching at church - I'd be devastated...)

LC said...

What a funny tidbit that animals love you so. Have you thought about converting your home into an animal shelter? We'll send the stray kitties your way.
Roundabouts are confusing. I always feel lucky when I happen to get through one the right way.

jessica said...

I am not a big fan of animals...of ANY kind, but cats I pretty much detest. All I have to do is see one and it makes me angry.

Oh and don't EVEN get me started on the Utah drivers that I encountered the week I was there...

Sue Q said...

I am tempting fate by saying that we have not been hit with the sick pig ....YET.....but we have our share of roundabouts that have honestly been put in the most idiotic places. Does a quiet suburb really need a traffic device? How about a major four way intersection with eight lanes? Huh? Are you kidding me? Personally, I think it's a big conspiracy between the Dept. of Transportation and the insurance companies and automotive repair industry. They were feeling the economic sludge of late and decided to ensure job security. That's all I have to say about that.

Get better. And if you want dogs to stay away from you, start keeping a clove of garlic in your pocket. Good for dogs and vampires. Who knew?

mariann and Tory said...

Haha! I would FREAK if someone told me my daughter was kissing...especially at church!! (You no that is right around the corner right?:))

just the five of us said...

All those times you came to scrapbook at my house, I didn't realize that you detested animals:) We now have 2 dogs!

And I agree with Jessica, those drivers on 1-15 in Salt Lake-Provo with all of the construction work, they need to use the side streets!!! I have never seen more rubber necking and the billboards are more frustrating than a round a bout!!!:)