Hey You Guuuuuuuys!

Okay - just posting this is SO going to date me... but bear with!  

When I was a mere child I watched a few shows on TV... Sesame Street (gotta love the twiddle bugs), Mr. Rogers (because the Trolley was too cool to resist), and Electric Company...

Sesame Street has gone a little more liberal, but it's still around in semi-recognizable form.  Gordon and Susan got older, and Snuffleupagus is actually VISIBLE... but I can handle change, really I can.

Mr. Rogers - well, they're certainly not being made anymore, but the reruns are around and they're still seeing how crayons are made and Lady Fairchild is still crazy.   Most importantly - The Speedy Delivery Guy is never late!

Electric Company - disappeared off the face of the earth?

But WAIT - Monday after I posted I went to turn on the TV - and what was on?  Electric Company... really - and not a re-run... a whole new episode... but now the Electric Company is actually a bunch of kids who (in this episode at least) are running around town to liberate a stolen rhino beetle...  using their rebus skills and iPhones to chase down the catholic school girl criminal who is making a you-tube video to taunt them and give them clues at the same time...  There's a few moments of "educational TV" thrown in...  and one of the girls DID say "hey you guuuuuys" but it just isn't the same...  

....one more childhood memory shot to pieces!  

Pssst, hey Kid - you wanna Tattoo?

Apparently I fell down and broke my funny bone because I'm having a hard time feeling witty - but since I semi-dedicated my Tuesday blog to peace and quiet and a clean home (and not adding to Heidi's crazy Wednesdays) I really have to post something today or else everyone's going to jump ship! 

Tuesday: As part of the annual PTA days at our local Harmon's Grocery Store I will be spending a few hours standing around and giving little temporary Tattoos to children that are usually kicking, screaming, and whining for a box of Twinkies... oh wait, not everyone's kids do that?

I appreciate that this store does this - mostly because it provides a few bucks to the PTA coffers which makes it possible to eliminate the need for selling ridiculously priced wrapping paper to grandparents who REALLY don't want it but feel obligated to support their grand-children!  So... If you happen to live near enough a Harmon's store you could run and pick up a box of Twinkies or two... they're infinitely better than wrapping paper... especially frozen... yummm...

PS - and if you happen to live near enough to MY Harmon's store... and if you're thinking "Whoa - it's a public appearance by T!!!"  well, I'll be there between 1 and 3 o-clock defacing innocent young arms - but I'm not signing any copies of my blog posts... unless of course you bring a Twinkie!

PPS - PLEASE don't bring any Twinkies...  really, I need at least 48 hours to let my body recover from all of the bad eating done in this house over the weekend...  besides, there's a whole box of frozen Twinkies in my freezer that I'm trying to get the kids to take for lunches before my will power gives out!  Besides, I have to go straight to the Orthodontist office after my volunteer shift and it's just plain cruel to walk into that place with processed pastry breath!

Although I might give in for a yellow Zinger...  Okay No - I'm going to be good, really :)

The Young Amazon Department...

We went to have our taxes done yesterday - and because life is forever against me the appointment in front of us needed to have her state taxes done from several different states this year...  rather than sitting down and enjoying their pile of magazines and their soft chairs M.O.T.H. and I chose to wander the mall...

I was soon wishing I had taken advantage of the soft chairs and magazines (even though I wonder how many germs are spread that way...)

But then... I walked into the "young mens" department thinking I could snag some great deals for the boys...  I love me a good 60% off sale!

Ummm...  Seriously - is there a young man that can wear this?  I know I'm 4'11" and all, but these were hitting the floor and still taller than M.O.T.H. - not to mention that my arms are about as far apart as they go...  

Hint to management:  maybe if they were displayed in the area of the store where the big and tall men actually LOOK for their clothes, you wouldn't have had to discount them to 60% off?

(sorry, the picture is REALLY fuzzy - I'd say it was because I was protecting my identity, but let's be real... even a good camera phone is pretty sucky) 

(and yeah - K, if you're reading this... I do think they're even too big for your young man...)

I'm not paying for your hearing aids Young Man!

This is a common sight around our house lately...  well, except imagine him indoors with slightly poorer lighting...

Those %^#&*ety %$^& iPod earbuds are going to be the death of me!  You'd think he'd learn when he misses phone calls (because I'm not chasing him down and using arm signals so that he can grunt into the phone) or when we're halfway done with dinner when he comes upstairs because he "didn't hear us" call him for the prayer...  

Yesterday I about lost it after asking him to turn the volume DOWN and I said "Listen, ruin your ears all you want - but you will pay for your own hearing aids!"  M.O.T.H. could barely wait until the kid turned his back to laugh at me over that one :)

But Seriously... have you SEEN the cost of hearing aids?  

and those are the DISCOUNTED prices!  Yipes!

After checking them out I will be turning down the volume on every device in the house.  So sorry if you've spent hours doing your blog playlist - it will be so soft it will all sound like Brahms to me!

Will this solve my teenager crisis?  No... but if anybody is computer guru, engineering genius - call me and we'll collaborate on a million dollar idea I have...  Every mom in the world is going to want one of these...  

In which I admit to my lack of coordination...

ManOfTheHouse calls me "Danger Prone Daphne"...  this might have something to do with the 2 inch scar on my thumb that I got trying to get a tiny bit more gel out of the bottle...  or it might have something to do with the fact that I can't go a week without having some raging bruise on some part of my anatomy...  some of which I can remember getting...

This week - the nickname has been thrown around more than usual...

a few weeks ago I busted up my big toe...  how?  yeah, don't quite remember that part - pain doesn't mean a lot to me in my feet - and thanks to this incident  and some other health issues I actually don't feel some of the things I kick - I have no feeling in a few of those toes at all...  one more T-oddity to add to the pile :)  (toddity? - that's sure to show up as a word verification now...)

Anywho - I had to run my son to a birthday party at the local pool last weekend - so I threw on some big cloggy shoes that I thought I'd love when I bought them... and jumped in the car.  We got to the pool and I parked a little further away than I'd intended.  Hoping to be quicker I decided that instead of going AROUND the rock medians I'd just go right through the rocks and thus get home faster to my waiting pile of laundry...  (why, again - I don't usually have answers for the hows and whys in this world).

I was still babying my big toe - which meant walking a little "off" and the clogs were a little heavier than I'd planned... and I lost my balance... but regained it, then lost it again - only to get my other foot under myself solidly, until it wasn't anymore...  I'm sure this would have been HILARIOUS to any passers by - but there weren't any...  as a matter of fact my own son was two steps ahead and didn't even notice until I fell WHAM at his ankles...  Two skinned up wrists - two knees with minor abrasions and goose-egg type bumps - and now 5 days later I am sporting a rainbow of colors across my knees... and a freshly injured and highly taped up toe...  

I didn't play many sports as a child... again, partly due to that incident... but mostly because I was frankly an accident waiting to happen...  

Soccer - The coach wanted me to learn to use my left foot more - so I once kicked the ball with both feet...  at the same time...  that was a bruise nobody got to see... even me!

Gymnastics - you know, those uneven bars can leave some nasty bruises if you fail to bend when you hit them...

Volleyball - once misaligned my growth plate in my left wrist going for the dig...  I saved the point... but we still lost - probably not worth it

Softball - yeah, after learning that catching the ball WITHOUT a mitt is a bad thing I did learn that I need glasses... 

Dance - ummm...  those were just emotional bruises

I'm a yoga girl I think... oh wait, I did almost pass out once during a yoga class in college - but I never bruised myself at least ;)

Is there a grace period on license renewal?

as some of you know I decided to be lazy yesterday...  REALLY lazy and I spent the day playing with my kids at home rather than doing all of the things that needed to be done (laundry, renewing my license) so today I'm going to be busy...  EXCEPT that I'm still not sure I have time for the DMV since I have a 10:00 meeting and my son's out of school at 11:00...  

so, if you locals see some big black SUV driving down the road like it's being driven by your sainted grandmother... just wave and say hi :)

Old-ish

that's right, there's no sense hiding it (not with my sis-in-law's dropping by and telling on me). Aside from being a lovely little holiday about groundhogs, this day is amazing.  No, not just because we finally get back to watching decent Monday Night TV...  

It's my birthday - I'm officially one year older (well, I will be in the morning at least... currently I'm still young and vibrant - I didn't really want to wait until morning to write this!).  

So how does a girl celebrate her big day?  Ummm... aside from the typical things I always do (except today I won't feel guilty about the things I'm NOT doing) I also get to run and renew my drivers' license - ooh yay...  so as you're lounging about reading this in the morning I'm going to be waiting in a hopefully short line at the DMV and checking my hair in the mirror so that I can finally take a "not-ugly" driver's license picture...

Seriously, the last photo...  I've been so embarrassed about it every time I had to show ID that I say little prayers while swiping my credit card... something to the effect of "please don't let the computer prompt the cashier to see my ugly picture"... which probably produces the opposite effect because the guilty look on my face is probably similar to someone who may have swiped my credit card and used it for nefarious purchases... like milk and bread... 

So of course I have told many many MANY cashiers in this town that when that picture was taken I was 9 months pregnant/on steroid shots for carpal tunnel...  they smile and laugh - but we all know they don't care, they just want to go home like everyone else!

So am I old?  Heck no - I may not be 29 anymore (hey, I've got to admit to more than that since my oldest is turning 14 this year) but lots of things in the world are older than I am...

I mean really, this gal ate Tuna that was older than I am!  (well... depending on what month it was canned)