eating Bon-bons...

Is there even such a thing as a chocolate free Bon-bon...  I know, you all shudder to think...

With all five kids in school there have been a few moments of silence around here.  I've spent more time than I should have doing things of little importance... and yes, I've even been bored.

Somebody tell me though - what is it about September First that makes everyone think "okay, time to get started!" ?  really...  it must be some mind-set because I have been invited to FIVE meetings tomorrow. 

I'd explain them all in detail - but I tried that and it turned out not to be all that interesting...  maybe sometime when everyone needs a nap?

Maybe I'll bring my travel pillow and grab my own nap at one of the meetings

I had forgotten that being a Stay at home Mom was such an active profession!  I don't know that I've been able to stay home an entire day yet  - I think I'm more of a RALACWYHCO(run around like a chicken with your head cut off Mom. 

until later... much, much, MUCH later...

what everyone needs... according to Google.

so, normally I'm not REAL big on memes...  but every once in awhile they give me a good giggle - and this one I haven't seen before tonight on the facebook page of an OLD friend (really old, I mean... oh wait... we went to High School together.  make that a young vibrant friend)

The "thing" - and to make this LOTS of fun you may have to open up another window...

Now, type in "_______ needs"  - include the quotes, but try to remember to replace the underscore part with your actual first name... trust me, it's just funnier that way.

My top hits?  Let's see now....  Ta-dah...

1-Tonya needs to get a life/Tonya needs a job (same page... so I'm only counting it once... although I refuse to believe that a job and a LIFE are the same thing)

2-oh wait... hmmm, that next one is from a questionable website - let's just say that I'm not clicking on anything with the teaser line "top ten ways to please your man" because I'm guessing it's not going to say "Tonya needs to cook dinner earlier" which is probably true.

3-Tonya needs to learn to slack up on the booze.  Hmmm...  apparently cousin Debbie and cousin Tonya are having it out online and saying nasty things about their sobriety issues...  glad that one's not really me!

4-Tonya needs your help.  This may or may not have been  a touching YouTube video...  I don't think I can do any more "touching" things today.  Touching my computer keys is just about all I can do.

5-Tonya needs "yo digits" - I added the quotation marks... lest you all think that was MY idea to advertise for anyone's "digits".  Please, keep all of your digits to themselves.  Part of me knows that people use the term "digits" to refer to phone numbers, another part of me fears that someone is collecting fingers and toes.

6-Tonya needs a share in Salem, Mass - apparently this is now an acceptable way to advertise for a roommate?

7-Tonya needs to go on Jenny Craig - I swear, I do not make these up...  while I'm not a fan of Tonya Harding this was just a little rough...  it must be hard keeping off the weight when she is not allowed to do the one exercise she loves?   You burn a lot of calories whacking people's kneecaps, if they'd let her keep that up I'm sure she'd still be as svelte as she was during the olympics...  I mean now I hardly think she'd be flexible enough to stick her poor unlaced skate up past her knee.

8-Tonya needs your help (again) - I only include this title again because unlike the first potentially touching one this Tonya needs nails for her FrontierVille game app and Paint Buckets for some other some such nonsense.  Don't get me wrong... I enjoy a relaxing game now and then - but I am also glad this is not ME hitting the top ten on Google for my supply begging.  BUT if you happen to have sugar in Restaurant City... you know where to find me :)

9-Tonya needs a reminder of what a sexual being she is - Ummm, I'm going to refrain from comment.

10-Tonya needs someone to do her taxes, mow her lawn, trim her trees and put her extra fabric up on eBay.  Ummm... good luck with that Tonya (the other Tonya... well, one of the MANY other Tonyas)

11- Tonya needs sleep (that one was not on Google... that one is true...  it's getting late and I want this to post tomorrow while I'm at the library looking for something fresh and new to read)

So... go ahead - don't be afraid (for crying out LOUD it can't get any worse than mine right???) type it in and share your favorite result :)

MultiTasking results in headaches.

okay, so that's no surprise to anyone.

anywho - I haven't posted because I was DYING waiting for a book... Mockingjay to be exact

and then it came... last night... and I didn't post about it because... well, I was READING...

and now I'm done... and I can't post about it HERE because I already reviewed it THERE.

yeah - I'm starting to realize why I'm not the most popular book reviewer on the planet. :)

and it's not just because I was supposed to link something like "Mockingjay Book Review" instead of the word "there" - man, this Search Engine Optimization  really bites sometimes.

Sometimes I wish my kids were naughtier...

Last week my sister called me up.  She was remarkably calm and composed.  I think she called me because it was a better idea than crying - you see, I can usually find a little humor in a bad situation... especially if I am removed from said bad situation by 500 miles.

You see, my sweet niece C (who is just 8... at least in human years) had been shopping with her grandmother and being a sweet grandmother she had gotten a surprise for C.  Me?  I usually buy the kids a Pez dispenser when I think they've been wonderful... maybe as a grandmotherly type I will splurge on the big ticket items like an air mattress.  Yep, C went home nearly hugging a box emblazoned with Hannah Montana and immediately went up the stairs, eager to set up the air mattress for use in her bedroom that night.

Gee, aren't air mattresses boring?  (I imagine this part being said by a little creepy version of C sitting on her left shoulder)  Wouldn't they be more fun when filled with... say... Water?

Ummm... I'm not so sure this is a great idea (says the more sweet looking mini C on the right shoulder)

but nobody heard that word of warning, because C and her evil influence were already off to the bathroom finding a pitcher to fill the mattress with water.

It would be hard to judge the extent of the damage in gallons...  let's just say that the second floor bedroom had a swampy feel to it once the air mattress proved that it hadn't been manufactured for use as a waterbed OR a trampoline.

some serious clean up was needed, and FAST - it was starting to resemble this:

well, you know, minus the creepy eyes.

after a good laugh, and a congratulations to my sister for allowing her daughter to continue living in their home, I hung up - and thanked each and every one of my kids for not listening to their evil mini left shoulder sitting selves... at least not too often. 

I know - if they were naughtier I'd have more blog fodder... but I might be too tired to blog!

images from the web (that IS the 1970 swamp thing) and permission was given to use my niece's horror story for your amusement.

I think I left my spontaneity in my other pants

Or maybe I'm just feeling lazy...

I have a great post in mind for all the humility I learned this week trying to make a beautiful birthday cake for my sis...  but that will require loading pictures up...  and swallowing a LOT of pride.  I'm not sure I can stomach it. 

maybe tomorrow?

For now I will just tell you that I had my son call home from school (after school... you know, when I was expecting him home) to tell me that he was doing some activity...  I was glad because all kids should be involved... but almost fainted when he finished the phone call with "love ya bye"...  I know it's just reflex - it's what I say to them as they walk out that door for school.  I know that I'm doomed to be a hugless and smoochless Mom in a few years (my youngest is 6... my days are numbered) but it also felt really good. 

As you may know my crossroads dilemma of a few weeks back has ended with me staying home as a full time Mom...  planning to take some classes and become a real grown up - you know what... I haven't had a moment of regret.  Instead I've had a number of moments of affirmation.  M coming off the bus on day one of school - literally running into my arms (wouldn't have traded that for the world).  Yesterday's phone call.  Even just sitting here typing as my kids mill around the kitchen spreading peanut butter and choosing snacks for their lunches (hello, I'm running out of Ding Dongs already... and who was supposed to buy more Capri Sun?)...  even this small moments remind me how blessed I am - how wonderful it is to be here debating whether or not H's cough is bad enough that she should miss school (it's not) and whether or not Po will have to comb his hair before getting on the bus (he will).

Life is good.  not always hilarious, but good.

signs of the apocalypse.

WHOA! did that catch your attention? I just wonder how many people are out there Googling "when is the last possible moment to repent" and ending up here instead. The answer my friends is NOW! (at least that's what the wind told me...)

I love hanging out with funny people...  I mean - 97.9% of the people in the world are going to see this sign and say "yummmmmmmm... fries..."  but no, my sister - she reads it literally.  What - you think it actually says "Jack in the BOX?"

Nope, it quite clearly says "Jack in The B'Fish"


and this one I owe to my former boss and her wonderfully snarky family:

When getting engaged you always hear "He went to Jared"  (well, you do if you listen to a lot of talk radio...  seriously, they think their target audience listens to Dr. Laura?)

What do you hear if the future love of your life goes shopping HERE instead?

"Oh Brenda - he finally asked me to marry him?"

     "Congratulations Jeanie, tell me, all about how he proposed, and about the RING!!!"

"It's gorgeous - he went to JK!"

      "What?  JK?  don't play games with me Jeanie... is he or isn't he off the market?"

"Brenda - what's the problem?  oh..."

                                     silence (probably a few cricket chirps... or maybe it's just a cheap synthesizer)

"Ummmm... Jeanie, you don't think he... I mean... he DOES want to marry me right?  He's not Just Kidding about THAT is he.  Oh Shoot, I need to call and cancel the cultural hall - talk to you later!"



Sounds like some-one might need a new name for their jewelry store? 

Personally I'm partial to Kay... because "every kiss begins with K" makes a LOT more sense to me than singing "Kindness begins with ME" with the kids at church...  they're not stupid, they know that kindness begins with K too...


Oh, I think I'm tired... there's a difference level of stupid humor that comes out at night-time after a sleepless night.  When my family heads home next week I'll post something less "punch drunk"  --  and if I'm lucky I'll get caught up on all my blog reading as well!

Calories don't count when...

...you're on vacation. Did you know that?

Also, if food is frozen prior to consumption you expend more calories to warm it up than the food actually contains.  Any food...  thus the reason for frozen yellow zingers in my freezer... they're delicious.

Licorice - negative calories.

Broken chips and pretzels?  Yep, all the calories fell out. 

Why do I mention this?  well, I maybe didn't have such a good week with fight the scale Fridays...  of course, I refuse to actually talk to the scale, so we're not really fighting... kind of a "cold war" type thing...

and hey - I've got company visiting.  My sister (author of her own blog - less snarky than mine... being as it's a scriptural commentary blog) is visiting - and we might have bought a package of white chocolate macadamia nut cookie dough and a tub of ice cream... just because we're trying to be faithful.

Faithful?  Yep, this morning my uber scriptorian sister comes up the stairs (because we're nice and we keep our guests in the basement) and asks me about a scripture she's  been pondering...

Jeremiah 2:33 Why trimmest thou thy way to seek love? therefore hast thou also taught the wicked ones thy ways.

OBVIOUSLY this means that a person should never lose weight just for love.  or maybe it means never get a haircut just for love (yipes, let's not let the teenagers read THIS scripture)

and yes, Z and all you other scriptural gurus out there might disagree with me, but I'm looking forward to white chocolate macadamia nut cookie dough ice cream... for lunch.

Ahhh, the gentle sounds of nature

Is there anything more relaxing?  A slight wind rustling the leaves of the trees...  the trickle of a brook (assuming I've been to the facilities recently)... distante coyote howls...  the chirping of crickets...

Well, assuming those crickets are OUTSIDE the house.  When the sound is coming from inside the house it's not very relaxing at all.  I've been awakened at unfathomable hours by chirping crickets in our house...  in our bedroom even...  did the crickets wake me?  Nope - ManOfTheHouse must MUST must find the source of the noise... even if it means moving furniture (and thus the body who was sound asleep on said furniture) to eradicate the noise.  Don't you worry though - he's a very humane light sleeper - once the cricket is found it gets escorted outside... where I'm pretty sure it just circles the house and returns to our bedroom however it got in the first time around. 

I can't really laugh - I mean I don't really want to share my boudoir with a noisy insect either... besides, if I laugh at ManOfTheHouse he knows how to get me back.  You see, we once had an electric piano... (oh, I guess we still do, but it's a different one now) a cheap old synthesizer type of thing and for some unknown reason one of the sounds you could choose (violin, voice, etc...) was cricket.  I can't make this stuff up people - there was honestly a cricket selection on the piano... and ManOfTheHouse thought it VERY funny to place the piano under the edge of the bed and wait for me to get tired before reaching over the edge...

Chiiirp...    Chiiirp...  Chiiirp...

of course, I'm pretty sure that's why the sound doesn't annoy me anymore - I just always assume it's him trying to get my goat.

I won't fall for it - and leave my Darn goat alone already!!!!

Oh... here's me going a little worldly again...

I want this... I've always wanted one of these...  I'm a wanter - that's what we do.  but THIS, I want more than most things...

and no, ManOfTheHouse is not about to run out and buy me this...  something to do with the price tag (ummm... not for the faint of heart folks) and something to do with well...  I am now a FULL year behind on my scrapbooking.  This was supposed to be scrapbook week...  don't ask how much I've gotten done.  I'm going to put away the stamps I used last Christmas today... by the time the kids get home...  hopefully.

The Original Scrapbox is my dream piece of scrapbook furniture....  to pretty to be relegated to a dark dreary corner of the house I might actually  be able to craft and socialize at the same time???  (currently my scrapbook area shares space with the food storage and holiday storage...  works well for when I want to dress up like a witch and eat potato pearls, but not really conducive to uber awesome creativity!

and this one is special!!! This is not the original - this is a LIMITED EDITION WORKBOX - which means not only do I want want want need want it...  I want it NOW... ermm... well, you know - in six weeks when it can be delivered.

Okay, okay - I'll share...  you need to run over and enter this cutting board giveaway or at this other awesome blog for a chance to win - but promise me now...  if you end up with this beauty in your house I want to come over and scrapbook at your place... weekly... that's okay right???

image from the company's website... I'm sure they won't mind... and I'd like you all to look VERY closely at all the little cubbies that I could put away those stamps in... maybe I don't need to put them away today after all???

an open letter to... well, whoever's in charge of the Box Tops...

Dear Guy that is in charge of the box tops on my cereal boxes.

I love your program.  I really do.  After my stint in PTA I'm sold on this - we got a hefty check each year that really helped out the school. I have a tendency to buy something with a box top on it and mentally subtract ten cents from the price knowing that I would happily donate a dime here and there to my kids' school.

Recently you have added "bonus" box tops to cereal... this is wonderful for me - not only can I mentally subtract 30 cents and feel good about donating, I am able to get MORE bonus box tops from the register coupons as well as another $2 off coupon. Using this coupon I'm only paying $1.30 for the cereal... which if I don't count my thirty cent donation it makes it just a dollar!)

My kids eat a LOT of your cereal - and will continue to do so if today's reaction to oatmeal is typical (and it is).

Might I suggest though that the term "box tops" be taken literally and the box tops actually be placed on the TOP of the boxes.  The effort of taking out a pair of scissors and performing minor surgery on each cardboard box to remove the box tops just isn't worth it to ManOfTheHouse - and although I have finally trained him to leave the empty boxes out so that I can perform this task later... it would certainly be easier (and make a lot more sense given the name Box TOPS) if they were more accessible.

Thank you.



Images from Google - and yes, I COULD have photographed my OWN box tops... let's call it a conservation effort... I'm recycling someone else's image rather than adding to the clutter of the world wide web!

Rock Solid Proof

On my morning therapy walk Saturday we were discussing a LOT of things. Seriously - good therapy... tears and all.

One subject was atheism... how people can possibly look around this earth of ours and not see the hand of God in all of His creations.

Like that one.

Or that...

I don't get it still...

Although I'm thinking that next time we plan a day long hike at Bryce Canyon National Park perhaps my morning therapy walk should really be a morning therapy sit and chat... man my ankles are hurting!



Images borrowed from Google Images - the first because my camera cord is misplaced (yes, Egan, again...) and the second because my youngest child is 6 years old and rather cranky this morning... still one of God's children, but the look on her face isn't nearly as sweet as it should be.

I feel cheated...

For those of you following along with yesterday's drama this should bring a sense of closure.  Mind you this is not a GREAT and abiding sense of closure...  more of a watered down sense of closure maybe?  Just be glad you haven't waited 22 years for it... 

I went a little Psycho yesterday - might have mentioned that in comments - and actually got out the old yearbook so that I could find Mr. E...  he happens to be on facebook.  This is good because I'm not sure my detective skills work much past the facebook level.

I sent him a message with the link to yesterday's post (and seriously - if you're reading THIS, but didn't read THAT - stop right now... go read it... I'll wait...

okay, now that we're all up to speed.  I just HAD to know - and judging from yesterday's curious comments I was not alone. 

The response?

It is good to hear from you. Yes, I was that chemistry teacher 22 years ago and I remember that day well. In addition to that day being your first day at a new school, it was also my very first day as a high school science teacher. The demonstration had a couple of purposes. First, it was to get students like you excited about learning about chemistry. It was also to model how to take good observations and ask good questions. Now for the answer…
The unknown liquid was water! When we tested to see if the unknown liquid was flammable, I had a small amount of Calcium Carbide next to the lit candle. When water comes in contact with the Calcium Carbide, acetylene gas is produced. With acetylene being very flammable, the result is an impressive ball of fire.

It is always nice to hear from former students. It is hard to believe how quickly 22 years pass. I continued to teach chemistry and physics and now I work as the district science coordinator. Instead of teaching kids, I work with teachers and administrators.

Thanks for tracking me down. I enjoyed reading your description of that day on your blog.
Take care,  (Mr E)

Who, besides me, feels just a little gipped?  Water???  Okay, okay... I'm okay with the answer... I just maybe feel a little foolish for not having asked the right questions 22 years ago :)  Apparently the right question was "Is there anything ELSE present to cause this reaction?" or "Man, are you trying to pull something over on us poor impressionable innocent children?"  (hmmm, that might not have applied to many of us in the class...)

It's all good though...   at least none of us will be losing sleep over it tonight.  (now if I could just stop having that geometry dream where Mr. B wants me to explain the pythagorean theorem I'd be good) 

and speaking of science...

I, for one, find it SHOCKING that I can actually mention science twice in one week... you know, without using the words "you better do your" and "homework" on either end of the word.

But since we're on the subject - I have a question... well, really it's a story... but it ends with a question -- bear with.

When I was a Junior in High School I went to a brand spankin' new school.  Best facilities that money could buy... well, the best that Public School money could buy 20+ years ago at least.  Seriously - closed circuit televisions in each room (old hat now) and a state of the art weight lifting facility that any of us who were not on the football team weren't really encouraged to touch.  The science labs were like nothing we'd ever seen.  There were these "hoods" at the side of the room specifically designed to blow stuff up in.  Maybe the designers had heard the story about Tim (yes, his real name) at my Jr. High who singed off his own eyebrows during one little teensy experiment.  Tim wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed before or after that incident.

My chemistry teacher was pretty cool my Jr. year...  he certainly knew how to get our attention.  On day one of class Mr E.  (not even protecting his identity, that's what we called him...  I think it was Eyolfson, but I wouldn't swear to that in a court of law) pulled out a beaker of some clear liquid.  He proceeded to show us that it was QUITE flammable.  This might have been the first use of that "hood" - but it wasn't the last).  He did a few other experiments with it that proved it was a volatile compound.  He promised that it was not any sort of alcoholic beverage... the class is thinking some gasoline... but then.... He.  Drinks.  It.   (insert shocked gagging noise here)

Did we all want to know what this stuff was?  You bet - we cajoled and begged... but no dice.  Mr. E promised to tell us at graduation what it was that he drank.

8 months later - the district let go all the non-tenured teachers at our school - bye, bye Mr. E.  (I should tell you sometime about my hippie walk-out protest days sometime... but they didn't work)

so, 20 years later - I still don't freakin' know what it was he tossed down his gullet that day!!!  I can't say that this has given me much cause for concern over the years - I just choose to only drink non-flammable, non combustible liquids and I've been pretty happy.  Well, you know, as happy as we can be after they removed Sharkleberry Fin from the Kool-aid flavors. 

but I do have my moments of curiosity.

and then they pass.

Personal note to my kids:  good luck on your first day back to school - if any of your teachers drink a mysterious clear combustible liquid - have them call me - or better yet... comment here so that we can ALL rest easier tonight!

The REAL reason Dinosaurs are extinct.

Scientists have come up with multitudinous theories as to why these HUGE strong carnivorous beings couldn't survive...

The Ice Age?  Really...  are we sure it's not actually Global Warming a.k.a. Global Climate Shift?

Earthquakes and Tar Pits.  I actually could see the Tar Pit thing...  I envision the dinosaurs to be like lemmings - all following each other into a huge tar pit...  and even the last guy doesn't think "hmmm... I wonder why nobody has come out the other side?"


Meteors.  All I can say is that there is obviously some high galactic sniper power because that's some sharp shootin' Sam!


But because I am uber-brilliant (despite the fact that I just started a sentence with the word "but") I have figured it out... no more debate necessary.  I think it's because the dinosaurs "changed teams" - in the days before In Vitro and adoption this would have been devastating to a species.


My evidence?

Do we really need an exhibit B?

Image taken from the official Barney website. Because (also a bad way to start a sentence) it's not like I can pop out and photograph gender confused dinosaurs all by myself.

School Shopping

I haven't exactly been thinking ahead. and since school starts in exactly 2 days I think that my procrastinating nature has done its part sufficiently well - time to give way to stress and reality.

TWO DAYS?!?!

Yep, I can do it...

Oldest just needs a haircut - and maybe some protein bars to take for lunches. Sadly lacking from the public school's cafeteria menu is a vegetarian option. Okay, never actually bothered me before... but I'd like to see my son not starve himself this year - really.

Second needs a haircut - a ride to the school for registration - a check for some unheard of amount of money covering everything from book deposits to locker rental - shoes - pants - shirts - socks - unmentionables... apparently he's been nude for the past 2 months, the family has been too caught up in NetFlicks to notice I guess.

Third needs a swift kick in the hind quarters. And maybe a few pairs of pants and a shirt or two. and a haircut (I'm seeing a pattern here)

Fourth and Fifth already went shopping with me... and being girls they can get away without a haircut this week. Fourth needed all SORTS of clothes (stop growing for crying out loud) and Fifth got one shirt because everything still fits (start growing for crying out loud).

Isn't it nice to know that no matter what, I'll always have something to complain about?

and then... when they're all settled and we're in a good homework rut routine... it will be time for this lifelong procrastinator to think about her own classes...  back to school suddenly isn't as exciting when it's ME having to do the homework.  Wait!  Do I get a new backpack and jeans too???



and if any of your children come home and mention the kids they saw at school that looked like orphaned refugees... well, just tell them that their mom loves them anyway!

If it's too loud...

Growing up I had a dear friend... we'll call him "Brian" - 'cause that's his name.  Brian and I were not romantically linked in any way shape or form - really.  It IS possible.  (I have to include this for ManOfTheHouse's comfort... and just in case Brian or any of his relatives happen by... could happen)

Brian and I talked pretty much daily.  about what?  yeah - probably a whole lot of nothing... he called once to find out how to start his own laundry because his mother wasn't home.  Yeah, he was a bit of a chauvenist pig.  Maybe that's what I liked about him the most?

The NUMBER ONE piece of Brian advice I remember from all those conversations - as he repeatedly expounded to his mother when she came down to limit the volume on his radio...  "If it's too loud - you're too old"

Last night ManOfTheHouse took me to a Styx concert - and it's official - I'm too old.

Or maybe Styx just Stynx?

Living the life of Riley

As long as Riley is a Theatre Critic of course...  doesn't Riley sound like an appropriate critic name?

I have spent a LOT of time over the course of my life in a theatre.  I am related to a few actors (no, you probably wouldn't know them... unless you watch a lot of films put out by the LDS church), and grew up watching these guys in their high school, then college, and finally their professional plays.  I loved acting - did a little myself back in the day...  but was probably more well suited to costume and set design.  I was a theatre education major in college even (the education part stuck more than the theatre part I guess?). 

It shouldn't surprise you then that in the last week I have seen THREE live productions (and two movies... but those don't count today).  Last week I may have mentioned seeing CATS - and I just may have mentioned how painful it was for me to watch.  The good news is that my 8 year old loved it.  Every bit.  Okay, not true - she did admit to wanting to scream every time the "Bwah-ha-ha McCavity" thing happened.  It was loud.  and obnoxious.  and it cut off the songs that I was trying to enjoy.

she also mentioned that she hated the costumes... not the way they looked - the way they smelled.  Apparently doing outdoor theatre in a disgustingly hot climate and DANCING all night... doesn't leave such a pleasant odor behind.  Go Figure.

I got to entertain myself with the fact that the cast of Tarzan was sitting a few seats in front of us... which reminds me.

Tarzan I saw twice - the things you'll do to impress your husband's work friends.  Oh, and to enjoy ogling an amazingly buff guy walking around in a loin cloth.  When I saw it with my family I was focused more on whether or not the kids were paying attention, getting their money's worth... understanding the story... not being scared out of their minds by the Leopard... you know.  No worries, they loved it (although I'm sure the Ape costumes probably stunk as well). 

The second time we saw it I just got to enjoy the eye candy... hey - the actor who played Radames in Aida last year was even seated near us and nearly as shirtless as he had been in that show!  Was it THAT hot?  (yes) or is he just over-proud of those pectorals? (probably)  Let's not forget (for the sake of my happy marriage) that I was sitting right next to the hunkiest of them all (you're welcome ManOfTheHouse).

And then the Neil Simon Festival...  that was last night's adventure.  We saw Steel Magnolias.

obviously this is NOT a picture from Steel Magnolias because as ANY huge theatre buff will tell you Steel Magnolias is a completely female cast.  Perhaps this is why ManOfTheHouse suggested that I go with friends instead of him?  I've been to a number of Shows at the Neil Simon Festival over the years (one of those acting uncles I mentioned earlier began the whole thing) and have enjoyed them all.  (They've NEVER done CATS thank goodness!)  This show...  the best.  Okay - maybe equal to I Do, I Do and God's Favorite... but still...  quite well done.  I'm not just saying that because my BYU teacher (pictured above) was playing M'Lynn - or because my uncle directed the show - or even because my friend of a friend was playing Shelby...  I truly enjoyed it.  Yes, I cried.  Like a baby. 

Too much theatre for one week?  Hmmm... maybe - so tonight we're taking a break.  ManOfTheHouse got tickets to Styx.  PLEASE let this turn out better than Kansas!!!


Images courtesy of The Neil Simon Festival Website, The Tuacahn Website - and of course my pathetic cellphone camera...

Just Breathe

Sounds simple enough right. Inhale. Exhale.

Repeat.

and then - something unexpected happens and suddenly breathing becomes a little more difficult.

This isn't a deep meaningful post guys - the "unexpected" thing that happened in our house was just a little minor simple thing...

The Air Conditioner DIED!!!

Have I mentioned that I live in the uber freakin' hot desert of Southern Utah?

It is quite possible that it's my boiled brain cells saying this but What were those Pioneers THINKING?

okay, okay, I know... they were thinking all about obedience and freedom, yadda yadda yadda...  good for them.  This is me doing the "SO grateful to have not been alive back in the day but grateful for all of those who suffered so I don't have to" dance.  Trust me, the steps are much easier to remember than the name.

A few questions for the powers that be?
*Why is it that every time we have company something breaks?  plumbing, A/C, the car???  seriously, I think this was equal to the time our car broke down on the Mukilteo Ferry and had to be bumped out into the street.  (with me hiding my head from embarrassment)
*When waiting on a repairman... could I do it elsewhere... I mean - my house is 88 degrees, can't you call me when you're ready and we'll run home from the pool?
*Do ALL A/C repairmen look like Don Knotts - or did I just get lucky?

 okay, that really IS Don Knotts... I was too amazed with cooler air to photograph the repair guy.

*How many of YOUR six year olds use the word "sweltering" in their everyday vocabulary?
*What did I do to Karma to deserve this???
*Is it wrong to spend my entire day today basking in the glory that is artificially cooled air?  



P.S. thanks too all of you who chimed in yesterday - I think I've now ruled out pole dancer and Avon Lady as possible career paths...  when I get it ALL figured out I'll get back to you.  really.

life at the crossroads

I've been enjoying my status as niche free blog - and trying my hand at some of this, some of that - a few giveaways, some reviews, and a little humor (okay, mostly humor...) but today - today we're all serious, all the time.  Or at least MOST of the time... 

 I'm FAR too old to be still having the question pop into my head "what do I want to be when I grow up?"
 There just seem to be so many paths...

Do I go straight?  Straight seems to be a decent option - only it might take me away from my family more than I'd hoped...  straight sounded logical and promising, but is starting to not make as much sense. Left might be good - but I'm just not sure if my body can handle a left turn in the long run...  it sounds like fun though.  There's always right - can you go wrong with right?  Right is risky, right might take a lot of work and may not pay off in the long run...

 So I've essentially set up shop here at the crossroads.  Poured myself a great big glass of lemonade and have been waiting it out.  For far too long.  The view is good... and I have a lot of fun with all the people who come through here (some stay longer than others, some don't even slow down to chat) but I'm afraid I've gotten too much sun - resulting in brain damage, because for some reason I think that eventually someone's going to come here and see me at the crossroads and not only realize my brilliance and limitless potential but I'm expecting them to put wheels on that chaise lounge of mine and then push me down the right path.

my biggest fear is that I will sink right into the ground I've been here so long. It sure SEEMS like it's harder to move my feet.

but look...  I'm not the only one - looks like these people were even worse about making decisions than I am! (is one of those an armchair?  seriously?) 
Maybe they all just sunk into the ground too?

So hey, all in fun - let's have a vote.  Hmmm... not really a VOTE vote, because I can't promise that I'll do much more with the results than have a good laugh and maybe blog about how I'm letting complete strangers decide my career path.  (Oh wait, yeah - that's probably been done... just now).

Yes, I AM fully aware that you have NO information to go on besides my wishy washy right, left, straight...  but hey - I've voted for Congressmen with exactly that much information about them!



(all images courtesy of Google - because none of my career paths have to do with photography)