Thursday, January 6, 2011

The imPerfect Morning Routine

5:00 a.m. - wake up, peek at the clock, groan
5:02 a.m. - wonder why on earth you are up at this hour
5:03 a.m. - realize why, but choose to live in denial
5:05 a.m. - Fine... I'll get up and use the bathroom already - but I'd better be able to get back to sleep!
5:06 through 5:09 - well, you don't need the details... let's just say that teeth were brushed while there - I'm a little O.C.D. about my teeth.
5:10 a.m. - back to bed
5:11 through 5:39 - cursing all the water I drank yesterday until finally drifting off to sleep.
5:45 a.m. - the alarm goes off
5:46 a.m. - I seriously debate texting my workout partner and canceling.
5:47 a.m. - okay, fine...
5:55 a.m. - after getting dressed in ugly stretchy clothes I leave the house.
6:00 through 6:55 - I grumble through my entire workout - but hey, I deserve points for being upright.
7:00 a.m. - I return to a dark house and think how utterly unfair it is that everyone else can sleep in.
7:01 a.m. - Okay, except for the 11 year old who just scared the b'whoozit out of me by popping up off the couch and wanting to know what's for breakfast.
7:03 a.m. - I decide subconsciously that if I have to be up then everyone else should too. I knock over the chore board and scatter magnets everywhere. oops.
7:05 a.m. - Now that they're all up - it's porridge for breakfast.
7:15 through 7:45 - consist entirely of arguments... what to wear, what to pack for lunch, whether or not the six year old is getting dressed at all... asking Veggie Teen to play the piano a little more softly because we can't hear ourselves think... whose turn is it to pray?... whether or not the new bangs really DO make the 6 yr old look like Taylor Swift... everyone telling her (while rolling eyes) that yes, she is the spitting image of the rock star because otherwise she is liable to cut those bangs off herself.
7:45 a.m. - finally dressed we are able to straighten miss M's hair - and kick the two oldest out the door.
7:46 a.m. - remind the 11 year old that plaid shorts and a striped shirt aren't the best of fashion statements.
8:00 - What? The youngest 3 are all ready? Lunches made? I think I have time for a shower.
8:07 a.m. - a VERY quick shower.
8:11 a.m. - kissing ManOfTheHouse goodbye - have a good day at work... etc...
8:15 a.m. - the bus doesn't come for 15 minutes, so yes... you can relax a few minutes. Good thing I relented because 8 year old had already been using my computer to play Topsy Turvy since I'd jumped in the shower.
8:16 through 8:29 - blissful ignorance.
8:30 a.m. - that loud rumbling noise I just heard better not have been your bus kids!
8:30 and a few seconds... not the bus, but isn't it coming in a minute or two?
8:30 and a few more seconds... what? you packed the lunch, but have now LOST the entire lunch box
8:30 and a few more seconds... mental calculations reveal that lunch money is long spent
8:30 and even more seconds yet - all you can hear are feet running up and down stairs... halls... doors slamming...
8:31 a.m. - and what was lost (the pink kitty lunchbox) is now found - but no time to break into song over it.
8:32 a.m. - they've been shuffled out the door, the door has been locked.
8:32 and mere seconds later - pounding on door. Please please please tell me they didn't miss the bus... 11 year old just forgot his gloves.
8:33 a.m. - collapse.
8:34 a.m. - wonder whether or not the 11 year old ever changed his clothes...
8:35 a.m. - Blogging

Next up? - maybe I'll take this towel off my wet hair and get dressed for the day... but wait... my meeting's not 'til 10:00... I've still got plenty of time... right?

Let's not point out that I should probably go re-assemble the chore board... and clean up the breakfast porridge... and, oh crud... fine, but frankly - no matter HOW much I get done today - the 7-8:30 time is the most productive portion of my day!


Barbaloot said...

Yes, I am grateful that at this point in my life, I'm only responsible for getting myself ready and out the door:)

Living the Scream said...

All of that does not make me look forward to all my kid's being in school! You deserve a medal!

Michelle said...

Why, after years of practice, do kids still not get ready on their own when they know how and that they should? What's a sock? I have to bathe? I really hate the 7-8:30 time period myself.

Anonymous said...

This is my morning to a "T", except I don't work out. But I am up at the same time getting my reluctant teen to seminary. I agree with Michelle, above. Every morning all six of my kids act like, "I have to make my bed? What is a hairbrush? What time is breakfast?" They seem to not be able to remember their daily routine, but can quote every Spongebob episode ever made.

Kristina P. said...

I had no idea the earth was still rotating at 5 am.

Mommy Lisa said...

Your hubby leaves for work after 8am? Mine is gone no later than 6:15am.

LC said...

You are going to love reading this post in 20 years. It will probably go quickly--like as fast as your morning.

The thought of 5 a.m. makes we want to hide under the covers.

Rudy Rukus said...

Amen to that sister!

Trooper Thorn said...

When do you eat?

Megz said...

Hmmmm. Maybe not having a bus take my kids is a good thing. We might miss it everyday. Well, just one kid.

Saimi said...

Geez all that BEFORE 8:30...Man you have put in a full day already....I'll just call you Supermom!!

Heidi said...

I've often had to rest the entire day from the morning routine. It's so demanding. But shorts? In the snow? Wow. Brave soul.

cold cocoa said...

Waking up so early would make the day feel so long!
I wake up at 7:51 and the kids are out of here by 8:21. Frantic, yes, but just 1/2 hour of pain.

Jen T said...

Amen, getting 4 (or 5) kids out the door in time for school, with homework, glasses, lunches and looking (generally) presentable is a huge workout. I normally think I need a nap after they leave :)

Sher said...

Ah, I like that thinking. I've been super productive every morning that there is school. Except I didn't excercise first and so you've been even more super. You should get yourself a superwoman shirt for the mornings:)

Lisa said...

Exhausting. And seriously? What the H are you doing waking up at that horrid hour? I'm sorry~I see no level headed thinking going on. Bless your crazyass heart.

just the five of us said... when my alarm goes off at 4:30 I will think of your body staying warm in bed for another 1/2 hour. Hum!! That is not going to motivate me too much to get out of bed---but I will be thinking of you while you are working out, cuz that is why I have to get up too!