and speaking of science...

I, for one, find it SHOCKING that I can actually mention science twice in one week... you know, without using the words "you better do your" and "homework" on either end of the word.

But since we're on the subject - I have a question... well, really it's a story... but it ends with a question -- bear with.

When I was a Junior in High School I went to a brand spankin' new school.  Best facilities that money could buy... well, the best that Public School money could buy 20+ years ago at least.  Seriously - closed circuit televisions in each room (old hat now) and a state of the art weight lifting facility that any of us who were not on the football team weren't really encouraged to touch.  The science labs were like nothing we'd ever seen.  There were these "hoods" at the side of the room specifically designed to blow stuff up in.  Maybe the designers had heard the story about Tim (yes, his real name) at my Jr. High who singed off his own eyebrows during one little teensy experiment.  Tim wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed before or after that incident.

My chemistry teacher was pretty cool my Jr. year...  he certainly knew how to get our attention.  On day one of class Mr E.  (not even protecting his identity, that's what we called him...  I think it was Eyolfson, but I wouldn't swear to that in a court of law) pulled out a beaker of some clear liquid.  He proceeded to show us that it was QUITE flammable.  This might have been the first use of that "hood" - but it wasn't the last).  He did a few other experiments with it that proved it was a volatile compound.  He promised that it was not any sort of alcoholic beverage... the class is thinking some gasoline... but then.... He.  Drinks.  It.   (insert shocked gagging noise here)

Did we all want to know what this stuff was?  You bet - we cajoled and begged... but no dice.  Mr. E promised to tell us at graduation what it was that he drank.

8 months later - the district let go all the non-tenured teachers at our school - bye, bye Mr. E.  (I should tell you sometime about my hippie walk-out protest days sometime... but they didn't work)

so, 20 years later - I still don't freakin' know what it was he tossed down his gullet that day!!!  I can't say that this has given me much cause for concern over the years - I just choose to only drink non-flammable, non combustible liquids and I've been pretty happy.  Well, you know, as happy as we can be after they removed Sharkleberry Fin from the Kool-aid flavors. 

but I do have my moments of curiosity.

and then they pass.

Personal note to my kids:  good luck on your first day back to school - if any of your teachers drink a mysterious clear combustible liquid - have them call me - or better yet... comment here so that we can ALL rest easier tonight!

The REAL reason Dinosaurs are extinct.

Scientists have come up with multitudinous theories as to why these HUGE strong carnivorous beings couldn't survive...

The Ice Age?  Really...  are we sure it's not actually Global Warming a.k.a. Global Climate Shift?

Earthquakes and Tar Pits.  I actually could see the Tar Pit thing...  I envision the dinosaurs to be like lemmings - all following each other into a huge tar pit...  and even the last guy doesn't think "hmmm... I wonder why nobody has come out the other side?"


Meteors.  All I can say is that there is obviously some high galactic sniper power because that's some sharp shootin' Sam!


But because I am uber-brilliant (despite the fact that I just started a sentence with the word "but") I have figured it out... no more debate necessary.  I think it's because the dinosaurs "changed teams" - in the days before In Vitro and adoption this would have been devastating to a species.


My evidence?

Do we really need an exhibit B?

Image taken from the official Barney website. Because (also a bad way to start a sentence) it's not like I can pop out and photograph gender confused dinosaurs all by myself.

School Shopping

I haven't exactly been thinking ahead. and since school starts in exactly 2 days I think that my procrastinating nature has done its part sufficiently well - time to give way to stress and reality.

TWO DAYS?!?!

Yep, I can do it...

Oldest just needs a haircut - and maybe some protein bars to take for lunches. Sadly lacking from the public school's cafeteria menu is a vegetarian option. Okay, never actually bothered me before... but I'd like to see my son not starve himself this year - really.

Second needs a haircut - a ride to the school for registration - a check for some unheard of amount of money covering everything from book deposits to locker rental - shoes - pants - shirts - socks - unmentionables... apparently he's been nude for the past 2 months, the family has been too caught up in NetFlicks to notice I guess.

Third needs a swift kick in the hind quarters. And maybe a few pairs of pants and a shirt or two. and a haircut (I'm seeing a pattern here)

Fourth and Fifth already went shopping with me... and being girls they can get away without a haircut this week. Fourth needed all SORTS of clothes (stop growing for crying out loud) and Fifth got one shirt because everything still fits (start growing for crying out loud).

Isn't it nice to know that no matter what, I'll always have something to complain about?

and then... when they're all settled and we're in a good homework rut routine... it will be time for this lifelong procrastinator to think about her own classes...  back to school suddenly isn't as exciting when it's ME having to do the homework.  Wait!  Do I get a new backpack and jeans too???



and if any of your children come home and mention the kids they saw at school that looked like orphaned refugees... well, just tell them that their mom loves them anyway!

If it's too loud...

Growing up I had a dear friend... we'll call him "Brian" - 'cause that's his name.  Brian and I were not romantically linked in any way shape or form - really.  It IS possible.  (I have to include this for ManOfTheHouse's comfort... and just in case Brian or any of his relatives happen by... could happen)

Brian and I talked pretty much daily.  about what?  yeah - probably a whole lot of nothing... he called once to find out how to start his own laundry because his mother wasn't home.  Yeah, he was a bit of a chauvenist pig.  Maybe that's what I liked about him the most?

The NUMBER ONE piece of Brian advice I remember from all those conversations - as he repeatedly expounded to his mother when she came down to limit the volume on his radio...  "If it's too loud - you're too old"

Last night ManOfTheHouse took me to a Styx concert - and it's official - I'm too old.

Or maybe Styx just Stynx?

Living the life of Riley

As long as Riley is a Theatre Critic of course...  doesn't Riley sound like an appropriate critic name?

I have spent a LOT of time over the course of my life in a theatre.  I am related to a few actors (no, you probably wouldn't know them... unless you watch a lot of films put out by the LDS church), and grew up watching these guys in their high school, then college, and finally their professional plays.  I loved acting - did a little myself back in the day...  but was probably more well suited to costume and set design.  I was a theatre education major in college even (the education part stuck more than the theatre part I guess?). 

It shouldn't surprise you then that in the last week I have seen THREE live productions (and two movies... but those don't count today).  Last week I may have mentioned seeing CATS - and I just may have mentioned how painful it was for me to watch.  The good news is that my 8 year old loved it.  Every bit.  Okay, not true - she did admit to wanting to scream every time the "Bwah-ha-ha McCavity" thing happened.  It was loud.  and obnoxious.  and it cut off the songs that I was trying to enjoy.

she also mentioned that she hated the costumes... not the way they looked - the way they smelled.  Apparently doing outdoor theatre in a disgustingly hot climate and DANCING all night... doesn't leave such a pleasant odor behind.  Go Figure.

I got to entertain myself with the fact that the cast of Tarzan was sitting a few seats in front of us... which reminds me.

Tarzan I saw twice - the things you'll do to impress your husband's work friends.  Oh, and to enjoy ogling an amazingly buff guy walking around in a loin cloth.  When I saw it with my family I was focused more on whether or not the kids were paying attention, getting their money's worth... understanding the story... not being scared out of their minds by the Leopard... you know.  No worries, they loved it (although I'm sure the Ape costumes probably stunk as well). 

The second time we saw it I just got to enjoy the eye candy... hey - the actor who played Radames in Aida last year was even seated near us and nearly as shirtless as he had been in that show!  Was it THAT hot?  (yes) or is he just over-proud of those pectorals? (probably)  Let's not forget (for the sake of my happy marriage) that I was sitting right next to the hunkiest of them all (you're welcome ManOfTheHouse).

And then the Neil Simon Festival...  that was last night's adventure.  We saw Steel Magnolias.

obviously this is NOT a picture from Steel Magnolias because as ANY huge theatre buff will tell you Steel Magnolias is a completely female cast.  Perhaps this is why ManOfTheHouse suggested that I go with friends instead of him?  I've been to a number of Shows at the Neil Simon Festival over the years (one of those acting uncles I mentioned earlier began the whole thing) and have enjoyed them all.  (They've NEVER done CATS thank goodness!)  This show...  the best.  Okay - maybe equal to I Do, I Do and God's Favorite... but still...  quite well done.  I'm not just saying that because my BYU teacher (pictured above) was playing M'Lynn - or because my uncle directed the show - or even because my friend of a friend was playing Shelby...  I truly enjoyed it.  Yes, I cried.  Like a baby. 

Too much theatre for one week?  Hmmm... maybe - so tonight we're taking a break.  ManOfTheHouse got tickets to Styx.  PLEASE let this turn out better than Kansas!!!


Images courtesy of The Neil Simon Festival Website, The Tuacahn Website - and of course my pathetic cellphone camera...

Just Breathe

Sounds simple enough right. Inhale. Exhale.

Repeat.

and then - something unexpected happens and suddenly breathing becomes a little more difficult.

This isn't a deep meaningful post guys - the "unexpected" thing that happened in our house was just a little minor simple thing...

The Air Conditioner DIED!!!

Have I mentioned that I live in the uber freakin' hot desert of Southern Utah?

It is quite possible that it's my boiled brain cells saying this but What were those Pioneers THINKING?

okay, okay, I know... they were thinking all about obedience and freedom, yadda yadda yadda...  good for them.  This is me doing the "SO grateful to have not been alive back in the day but grateful for all of those who suffered so I don't have to" dance.  Trust me, the steps are much easier to remember than the name.

A few questions for the powers that be?
*Why is it that every time we have company something breaks?  plumbing, A/C, the car???  seriously, I think this was equal to the time our car broke down on the Mukilteo Ferry and had to be bumped out into the street.  (with me hiding my head from embarrassment)
*When waiting on a repairman... could I do it elsewhere... I mean - my house is 88 degrees, can't you call me when you're ready and we'll run home from the pool?
*Do ALL A/C repairmen look like Don Knotts - or did I just get lucky?

 okay, that really IS Don Knotts... I was too amazed with cooler air to photograph the repair guy.

*How many of YOUR six year olds use the word "sweltering" in their everyday vocabulary?
*What did I do to Karma to deserve this???
*Is it wrong to spend my entire day today basking in the glory that is artificially cooled air?  



P.S. thanks too all of you who chimed in yesterday - I think I've now ruled out pole dancer and Avon Lady as possible career paths...  when I get it ALL figured out I'll get back to you.  really.

life at the crossroads

I've been enjoying my status as niche free blog - and trying my hand at some of this, some of that - a few giveaways, some reviews, and a little humor (okay, mostly humor...) but today - today we're all serious, all the time.  Or at least MOST of the time... 

 I'm FAR too old to be still having the question pop into my head "what do I want to be when I grow up?"
 There just seem to be so many paths...

Do I go straight?  Straight seems to be a decent option - only it might take me away from my family more than I'd hoped...  straight sounded logical and promising, but is starting to not make as much sense. Left might be good - but I'm just not sure if my body can handle a left turn in the long run...  it sounds like fun though.  There's always right - can you go wrong with right?  Right is risky, right might take a lot of work and may not pay off in the long run...

 So I've essentially set up shop here at the crossroads.  Poured myself a great big glass of lemonade and have been waiting it out.  For far too long.  The view is good... and I have a lot of fun with all the people who come through here (some stay longer than others, some don't even slow down to chat) but I'm afraid I've gotten too much sun - resulting in brain damage, because for some reason I think that eventually someone's going to come here and see me at the crossroads and not only realize my brilliance and limitless potential but I'm expecting them to put wheels on that chaise lounge of mine and then push me down the right path.

my biggest fear is that I will sink right into the ground I've been here so long. It sure SEEMS like it's harder to move my feet.

but look...  I'm not the only one - looks like these people were even worse about making decisions than I am! (is one of those an armchair?  seriously?) 
Maybe they all just sunk into the ground too?

So hey, all in fun - let's have a vote.  Hmmm... not really a VOTE vote, because I can't promise that I'll do much more with the results than have a good laugh and maybe blog about how I'm letting complete strangers decide my career path.  (Oh wait, yeah - that's probably been done... just now).

Yes, I AM fully aware that you have NO information to go on besides my wishy washy right, left, straight...  but hey - I've voted for Congressmen with exactly that much information about them!



(all images courtesy of Google - because none of my career paths have to do with photography)