it's amazing what tidbits of wonder can be crammed into a two page newsletter stapled together by librarians!
Since we spent the weekend praising the husbands and putting them up on pedestals - if you're like me it's about time that the pedestal was stored back in the garage... but it will probably sit there for another week until I can convince M.O.T.H. to haul it out of here...
while it's still out, and before we forget WHY we were being all sweet and lovey dovey in the first place - let me present the library's version of...
#1 - Men are NOT mind readers.
#1 - Sunday sports - it's like the full moon or the changing of tides... let it be.
#1 - Crying is blackmail.
#1 - Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Just say it!
#1 - "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
#1 - If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way.
#1 - Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#1 - Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
#1 - Men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what "mauve" is.
#1 - Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
#1 - When we go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really!
I think if I can keep these in mind M.O.T.H. and I should be getting along fine indefinitely :) I might mention however in regards to #1 (the second one) that I'm thrilled that my Sundays rarely involve sports!
and... as a final word of wisdom - from Garry Shandling... "They should put expiration dates on clothes so we men will know when they go out of style."
(and yes... for those of you who know how crazy our life has been lately - I will EVENTUALLY get around to blogging about something besides the library newsletter... eventually!)
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