We are Living in a Material World

and I am a Material Girl!

Seriously - I love shopping for fabric...

I touch it - match it - drape it - and imagine it sewn into perfect household accents and cute outfits for the girls.  (I was long ago banned from sewing for the boys)

But do I sew with it?

Not so much...

My Grandmother years ago started the local chapter of the "She Who Dies With The Most Fabric Wins Club" 

- my Mother is the vice president - and I was inducted as soon as I got enough room to store a few boxes of my own fabric.  ManOfTheHouse would love me to renounce my membership... and I try - I donate some to the local Young Women's projects... a neighbor... or even the middle school... but then Mom or Grandma will donate some of their spare to my efforts and my shelves are full once again...

But Wait!  Before you think that I haven't sewn ANYTHING at all this year - I present evidence:

I threw together seat back covers (2 minutes each... not counting lettering - not exactly rocket science) for our church primary.  The sad thing is that my shelves look just as crowded as ever...  wasn't this supposed to deplete my stash somewhat?  

and for the record - I actually DID write the above post BEFORE April pooh-poohed my new scrapbook stash... actually before I got the new scrapbook stash...  but she did remind me of this so I went in to schedule it finally :)

Deal of the Century!

I was sitting at my computer at 2:00 on Tuesday when I realized I hadn't checked my e-mail in... what... 4 hours?  Not that I'm some obsessive e-mail freak - but I do love to see all the comments flying into my inbox :)

Instead of comments (okay, maybe there were one or two) I find an e-mail from my monthly scrapbook club - they make really amazing stuff and even though I've been in a scrapbook funk lately I keep collecting their kits because once I get a few pictures printed (I have over 2000 to choose from) I am going to GO TO TOWN on the scrapbooking!!!!

The e-mail invited me to a warehouse clearance... and much as I would have liked to hop in the car and drive the 45 minutes (plus 5 for filling my car with gas) to their warehouse - I had to wait for Wednesday morning.

The entire drive consisted of me worrying...  what if they have NOTHING left?  what if I am using up a quarter tank of gas for no reason?  maybe I should have brought the kids along so that I could have justified the trip by taking them to a cool park?  

No worries - I got there and was AMAZED at the amount of papers/stickers/cut-outs they had left...  Boxes and Boxes and Boxes of it...  See...

the best part is that nobody really thought me odd to ask others to take pictures of me digging through the boxes...  kindred blogging spirits are often found in scrapbook warehouses!  I grabbed a few of those empty boxes for my own use...
and crammed two of them FULL!  Some of those nice ladies were moving from box to box checking out the wares...  taking one or maybe two of something they could use... Not me - I know I have lots of Scrapbook friends, and I was going to SHARE!  I went from box to box grabbing handfuls... between 3 and 15 of each item...

Once I got this all home I just had to channel my inner Brian Regan and see how much I'd hauled out of there...  

Then I grabbed a few bags - broke up the haul into 8 parts and drove around a few "happy paper day" deliveries...  it was time consuming and gave me more than a few paper cuts... but fully FUN!

The BEST part?  are you ready for the total price tag on 71.8 pounds of enjoyment?

really, you're going to want to sit down...

because it was all...

FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE

I didn't pay a penny...  They just wanted to clear out their warehouse and so I scored!  I am SO in the mood for a scrapbook night!  Oh wait, I still need to get pictures printed... but soon!

So, because I love their stuff and because I walked out with HUNDREDS of dollars worth of their beautiful supplies - I'm giving an official shout out to The StoryTellers Club!!!!  I can't guarantee that signing up will get you 71.8 pounds of fun, but their stuff is pretty awesome!  (but if you sign up - use my name as a referral - although you may have to e-mail me for my REAL name if you're not already "in the know")

a walking infomercial

My daughter "M" has some Billy Mays (for oxiclean) in her blood.  On M.O.T.H.'s side... he was such a George Foreman Grill fan that we gave one to EVERYONE in the family when they got married... we've had to upgrade to the family sized GF Grill as our children have gotten older - but we wouldn't know how to live without that thing.

To tell this story I have to admit that I'm one of those Moms that the American Society of People Who Think You Don't Have Any Functional Brain Cells warns you about...  yep, my daughter watches television...  infomercials even.

She recently saw the infomercial for the EZ Comb...

and 2 days later we were on our way to Target - backseat (one-sided) conversation went something like this  "Mom maybe they have the EZ Comb, can we get an EZ Comb because those other things hurt your head but you can sleep in the EZ Comb and you can make a butterfly with the EZ Comb and a twist with the EZ Comb and it's good for long hair and short hair and the EZ comb comes in black and brown and silver.  Can we get one?"

my response:  "We'll see"

All parents know that "we'll see" is mom code for "I really hope that you'll forget about this in the next few minutes because I SO don't want to deal with it at all"

She didn't forget, but Target doesn't sell the EZ Comb...  we're off the hook.

Until we went to Wally-World a few days later.

"Mom - is the EZ Comb HERE? - it's good for short hair and long hair and I can sleep in it, etc... etc... complete with quotes from the infomercial and LOTS of EZ Comb propaganda"

"we'll see"

No EZ Comb here either - whoo-hoo

but then... Grandma's in town and we had reason to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond.  They had the EZ Comb...

and I caved!

and you know what - it IS good for long hair and short hair.   You CAN sleep in it (but I wouldn't recommend it - she didn't wake up happy).  It DOES make a really cool fountain twist with the butterfly EZ Comb.  The EZ Comb Ponytail even works even though I scoffed at the very idea.  Of course, the only picture is of the silver EZ Comb (her fave) doing nothing more than pulling back the sides of her hair...

AND  it's like an instant facelift...  which means it's also an instant headache.  When somebody pulled my hair as a child I cried... and now I pay good money to have a device that pulls my hair permanently?  I have a personal 2 hour limit to wearing that thing...  M lasts a little longer - she made it through church the first Sunday.  Although "through" might not be the right word because the hairdo had to be re-done during the first hour (her thin hair doesn't stay in there so well when she's crawling on the floor) and again the second hour (the thin hair also tries to escape when the kid next to you is messing with your head).  The next Sunday we learned our lesson and put a regular ponytail in BEFORE adding the EZ Comb...  MUCH better!

Hmmm... I'm thinking I need an endorsement check - at .25 for each time I wrote EZ Comb - multiplied by whoever reads this...  well, O.K. - we're still a long way from EZ street...

an uphill battle

That's the view I see every morning when I begin the walk to school... well, sometimes there are more trash cans, sometimes fewer... 

and by "every morning" I mean of course the mornings that I can't come up with a REALLY good excuse.  Past good excuses have included hair not being done in time, needing to bring along a science project, knee pain, and just not wanting to do it.  

That hill has been the bane of my existence.  seriously.  If you can't tell from the picture the next door neighbor's house is a full story higher than my house.  The next house up has its basement at the same level as my roof.  I would try and impress you by telling you about the steep "grade" of the hill... but I don't know what the percentage is, and wouldn't really understand it even if someone told me the number... let's just say it's so  unbelievably steep that I'm sucking air by the time I get 3 houses up the street!  That's where I meet my neighbor S who never laughs at me for needing a break so close to home.  The rest of the walk (about 2 miles total) is reasonably flat and doesn't bother me... 

So today is the LAST Day of School - the LAST time I have to tackle this hill and I happily wheeze and turn purple knowing that from this day forward walking up the hill will be a "personal fitness choice" and not a "get the kids to school so push the stroller faster"  -  unfortunately as soon as I get to the middle of the hill (3 houses away) and I'm feeling the burn... I see the trash truck at the top of the hill...  It NEVER comes this early.  

I turn around slowly saying a short and well intentioned prayer of "please please PLEASE let ManOfTheHouse have remembered to put out the trash cans this morning"...  

not all prayers are answered.

So, I sprint down the hill, grab the cans and put them on the curb - then proceed to trudge BACK up the hill...  calves burning, lungs burning, feeling like it's WAY past time to put our house on the market and buy something on a flat boring street.

I made it - I didn't die... but I wasn't so sure...

The worst part?

When I came home - the trash man hadn't made it to my house yet.   

Why home-schooling is not for me...

Don't get me wrong - I think home-schooling is a super idea.  I really do.  I have nothing but respect for those moms who put SO much effort into ensuring that their children get an individualized education.  I wish I could do it...  every once in awhile I think I'm going to do it... and then Sunday rolls around.

My daughter "H" is in my Primary class...  I've managed to teach almost all of my children in various church classes/scouts/preschool at one point or another and I have to wonder WHY ON EARTH other people tell me that my kids are such a joy in their classes.

are they all lying to me?  Are they delusional?  Do they find Joy in being told "No" every time they're asked to participate and find Joy in being told "we already know this, this is boring"

I actually threatened last week to send her to her father.  I use that threat a lot with a few other little angels in my class, but this is the first time I had to use it on one of my OWN...  

I've got ManOfTheHouse on board this week - there will be a "secret" agreement between H and M.O.T.H. - to see if a little bribe/reward will be of use in getting her to sit in her seat without installing magnets in the back of her skirt.  Maybe we'll even get her to agree to saying a prayer?  

Really - I'm glad that my kids are well-behaved for other people...  I'm thrilled that they don't pull this "attitude" on everyone they come in contact with - I just wish I knew WHY they don't save just an ounce of their good behavior for their own parents????

Is this typical?  Do you home-schooling Moms have this same problem?  Are your children just naturally perfect or have you just disciplined it out of them?  I know - the answer is that you're just infinitely more patient than I am...

I'm afraid I used up a lot of my patience teaching preschool and kindergarten for all those years - maybe there just isn't enough left for my own kids?  

I've set some in reserve for the teenage years - don't worry!

Shouldn't we all be dead by now?

I make my children eat whole grains...  wheat bread, brown rice, multi-grain pastas, even those goldfishy crackers come in a whole grain variety...  took forever to convince them that it was okay to eat bread that looked like its main ingredient was birdseed... but it worked!  I did this because I love my children and of course what mother would feed her child simple carbs?  ummm... millions of them.  that's right - it has nothing to do with love people... so I break down now and then (yesterday) and let the girl have her mac 'n cheese made with REGULAR pasta...  the kind in a box that miraculously turns orange powder into cheese again!  And although the REAL reason we switched to whole grains was because I needed some moral support - I ate some too... (comfort food?  I don't know... I just caved)

I'm amazed sometimes that any of us ever made it to adulthood.

Raise your hands if (like me) you were allowed to ride in the back of the family van without your seatbelt on...  we  used to "surf" and try to stay on our feet while my dad turned corners when the seats were taken out... or we'd lay on the floor and peek through the little hole at the road rushing by below, hoping for a glimpse of...  ummm, I don't know - never saw anything but black asphalt.

okay, so we were definite INSIDE the car - Dad wouldn't have allowed this!

Now raise your hands if you'd consider allowing your child to do the same thing...  I mean, for crying out loud now my children have to stay in booster seats until they're 8 years old!   (I know, or  80 pounds...  with my lightweight children my biggest fear is that they'll change the law to say AND 80 pounds)  In some states I myself barely make the height requirement for leaving a booster seat.  Go ahead, laugh yourself silly at my expense... I don't mind.  Seriously, call up your grandparents/parents/and ask them what kind of "car seat" they sat in...  and don't be surprised if the word "apple crate" comes into the conversation.

I'm disgusted at things like $700 strollers, baby knee pads, etc...  because the advertising all implies that if we have a lesser brand we obviously don't love our kids enough... and anyone who allows their child to learn to crawl without wearing those stupid knee pads should be thrown in jail for abuse...  

I had a good laugh recently at the fresh fruit wash...  mostly because my mother and grandmother scoffed at it - I grew up eating fresh fruit straight from grandma's garden... probably ingested my fair share of dirt, and maybe more than my fair share of little bugs in the process... but I lived.  Does that mean that my parents (and their parents before them) didn't love their kids enough?  Does that mean that I don't care about my children's health because I settle for a quick water rinse?  

So be it.  Sorry kids - I only love you to the tune of $20 strollers, generic diapers, and water... BUT at least I'll make you sit in that danged car-seat for the next few years...  as "proof" of being a good mom!

(and yes - this is my offical 200th post... I'm not going to get very celebratory over it...  but you're welcome to flood my comment box with love and adoration from all corners of the globe... just saying)

Rambling...

I really have nothing to write about...

Really - I'm not exaggerating - there's Zilch going on in my head right now.  

Shoot, I think I put water on to boil for M's mac 'n cheese...  I should check on that!

Okay - we're good.

There's plenty going on in my LIFE, but in my head... nada.  I'm ignoring all emotional attachments right now - the end of the school year is fast approaching and because we're moving to a different school next year there's some drama to it all...  but I don't want to think about it...  don't want to get into the issues at all because it's SO much EASIER to just leave.  

Baseball's almost over, which means no more worries about treats, consoling the kid when his team loses AGAIN, and making a b'zillion phone calls to get all the parents on the same page.  The last games are this week and actually conflict with other plans...  how will this work out?  Don't know... but it will right - I mean, ten years from now I won't care about the conflict - so why fret now?

Summer will be here soon... I usually worry about plans, field trips, lessons, etc... until I'm blue in the face.  Blue's not a good look for me, so I'm not going to stress about it this year.

Preschool graduation (one of the baseball conflicts) means that my little girl will be going to kindergarten in the fall...  I'm supposed to be mourning the loss of my "baby"...  but I'm not...  I mean, I think I'm not... maybe I'm in denial?  maybe I'm just too detached from emotions?

My parents were here last weekend.  It was nice to see them - but I let the housework go and now have a LOT to do to catch up...  and I'm sure that my husband would love it if I'd make a nice dinner for a change...  (which we'll eat after baseball, right?)  and maybe I'll get around to that, because that actually sounds like something I CAN do... because there's no "thinking" attached to the laundry, dishes, or vacuuming.

I don't like stress...  it causes weight gain and zits - both of which I'm having LOTS of fun with currently.  So I'm just not going to stress about things.  I'll still DO things, I'm just not going to stress about them.

Like blogging - I should worry about writing a wonderful post for #200...  but I won't - you'll just get what you get (and not have a fit)...  if it's funny, bonus...  if it's boring, deal.  But don't "unfollow" me or anything - because then I'll blame the next 3 pounds on you!

See you later - I think it's time to meditate...  or maybe that's the timer for the mac 'n cheese?

Nifty new header...

courtesy of Holly (& her mother Mimi) over at iheartbowheads.blogspot.com - didn't they do a lovely job????  Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank  you!!!  See, entering a contest or two is worth the time it takes to construct a comment :)

And my husband says that blogging is a waste of my time :) 

someday I'll be a "real" blogger and have this all figured out right?  Until then it seems you're going to put up with my iffy photography skills, iffy grammar, and iffy humor - thanks... I'd dedicate a whole post to my wonderful readers... but you know, busy and all... 

No really, I am daily bolstered by knowing that SOMEBODY out there thinks I'm witty, and SOMEBODY out there thinks I'm productive... and best of all, SOMEBODY out there thinks I'm beautiful (please, let's not tell them that the picture is Audrey Hepburn!)

Thanks to all - I'm going to be an iffy poster for a few days while my parents keep me busy - but I'm still here... just needing to be entertaining in a more physically present way... THAT's pressure!

How I know my neighbors love me...

I must be a great neighbor - I mean... no-one's sued me lately right?

I know the neighbor a few houses up must love me... his dog leaves little gifts on my lawn all the time. I'm proving RIGHT NOW how much I love my bloggy neighbors by not including a photo!

I would love to reciprocate - but I don't have any pets... and my kids are all a little too old to get away with THAT!  

Apparently we have a secret admirer neighbor with a cat as well, because I left the house this morning for a brisk 2 mile walk to (and from) the kids school. (brisk meaning as fast as you can go pushing a stroller uphill) The secret admirer neighbor had their cat deposit a gift on our front stoop. And by stoop I of course mean sidewalk but that just doesn't sound as sophisticated does it?

(note:  not OUR dead mouse... but similar, add a reddish ankle & it's the same!)

For the last proof of my greatness - I know I'm a super neighbor because I get lots of "flowers" - picked by sweet 3 year old twins and their 5 year old friend who happens to be my daughter. Every morning on the way home from school (walking briskly of course) we take a few breaks to beautify the lawns of other neighbors and fill my stroller basket with a bouquet!

and look!  a bonus gift - a Matey!  (as in Marshmallow Mateys...  I figure the marshmallows are the yummy part that the kids eat - and the Mateys are the leftover anchor shaped cereals that nobody ever eats... you know, the healthier part...)

Share a Smile...

hahahahahahahahahahahaa...

To her credit, she was thinking about color coordination... but the visible Joe Boxer Smiley...  Maybe she was planning to brighten the day of everyone she met?

Maybe she's a walking advertisement for Wally World?  Perhaps she's hoping she can sit on the signs and lower the prices?

Shakin' my groove thang!

okay - for those of you who were drawn in by the title - I really hate to disappoint, because it's not actually MY groove thang that's a-shakin'...  my eldest son recently turned 14, which means he has the privilege of attending - DANCES - sponsored by our church.  

Yep - that's right, the higher ups are trying to get my son to get over his cooties fear.  If I were being honest I would tell you that he never had such a fear... but I am fully in denial here and am going to go with "and his mother is the only female who he's ever hugged".

This being such a momentous occasion in his life we celebrated  -  in traditional C family style - by mercilessly teasing him.  He was ready over an hour early...  we really couldn't help it!

ManOfTheHouse showed him a little of the Deacon Two-Step to give him some confidence (well, he's confident that he's got more moves than the old man...) and I related a story to show him the importance of paying attention to the girl you are dancing with - small talk and all that. 

Then I got to thinking...  now that I've shared the story with my son (who rolled his eyes) and my husband (who wasn't shocked) and my parents (who were here for a few hours on their way to Vegas - and who also weren't shocked) - I just KNEW that you all wanted to know what kind of a person I was at age 14...  so that when I come here and complain in a few weeks about some moronic thing my kid did - you can throw it back in my face :)

Sooooo...  once upon a time when I was 14 I went to something called "Youth Conference" with a bunch of kids from church - between the ages of 14 and 18...  speakers, food, flirting... you get the picture...

The culmination of Youth Conference was a dance - dim lights, loud music, and groups of girls standing around wondering if the groups of boys would ever notice that we'd spent 3 hours on our hair and make-up....

There are about 3849 girls in a circle with me when Cheerleader Girl (CG) runs up and starts whispering that Hottie of the Year (HY) is going to ask one of our group to dance.  Really, this guy was THE popular guy - and apparently thought he was popular enough that he needed to be uber-selective about the girls he danced with... turns out the whispering was probably because of WHO he was going to ask...  because I was more of a "fringe" popular girl - and I think that really CG was just a tad annoyed...

Oh well, HY does finally come up and asks me to dance... so I say yes, because well, he's HY and I (being a sheep) fully acknowledge that.  

The trouble with being popular... everyone wants to talk to you - so about 30 seconds into our dance (a fast dance thank goodness... this would have been WAY worse on a slow dance) he starts chatting with random Other  Hottie while they ignore us girls...  he actually turned his back on me...  

but the surprise was on him, because by the time he turned back around (about 10 seconds later) I was GONE - he was dancing out there all alone...

Hmmm... I wonder why I never got beyond "fringe popular" after that...

Considering the Unibrow as a fashion accessory

There is a face I make that creates a little "V" between my eyes...  and I catch myself making this face often because it's my "oh yeah kid - well, I wasn't born yesterday so stop trying to get away with something" face!

Then I happened to catch my reflection in the mirror while making said face!

Now every time I want to question my kids honesty I find myself worried about wrinkles - 

so I stop what I'm doing to gently massage the area between my eyes.  This is very calming to me and my kids are amazed with the amount of junk they are suddenly getting away with.

So, I'm wondering....

                       Is this the way to go?

seriously - I can't think of a better way to disguise the wrinkles that are coming.  I mean - the hair covers 'em right up...  and really, who's looking at anything besides those teeth... or that... ummm "blemish"?

or maybe I'll just stick with the most famous Unibrow of all?

Laughing Out Loud so hard I had to wipe away tears!

while shopping for Drano on Thursday morning I saw this quote:

"Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at."

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

See, if I were to laugh at this guys' name - that would show my lack of character... so I would never do that!  Besides I learned YEARS ago not to laugh at people's names...  (seriously Sher, sorry about your uncle Ovando!)  

It was a time quote because less than 12 hours later I found myself enjoying a RIOT of a show put on by Brian Regan.  Apparently I've been living in a CAVE because I only had a passing acquaintance with this guy.  Well, no more...

This spot here is where I would have embedded one of his hilarious clips if I weren't too moronic to have figured it out!

I laughed hard enough that my eyeliner was all washed off.  I laughed hard enough that my ribs are feeling bruised.  I laughed hard enough that I've given myself a headache!  I laughed hard enough that I was wishing I'd worn a larger size of shorts... or maybe that was the frozen lemonade that I ate with wild abandon?

Seriously - by the end of his opening act Kermit Apio I felt like we'd gotten our money's worth - can't go wrong with a good Spam joke right?

The good thing - I'm not just being all nanny nanny boo boo here - this guy is on Letterman Friday night so you can all be eyeliner-less.  Just wear a big pair of shorts!

AND I don't feel like my character is in question - clean jokes, each and every one...  could have taken the kids... well, you know - could have if I'd been independently wealthy and had kids that actually stay up that late without getting uber-cranky.

Thanks Chelsi for the invite - LOTS of fun! 

Maybe you CAN teach an old dog new tricks?

I've had a rule my whole life...  and I've been kind of a snob about it.

Condensed/Abridged/Adapted... whatever the word is that indicates this is NOT how it was originally published - I won't buy any of them, I won't read any of them...  I want the REAL story, the whole thing in the way the author intended it to be read.  Including and Especially Les Miserables!  Yes, I know that makes it longer than the Bible... but I love it that way!  (and only feel a little guilty that I've never read the Bible in three days)

BUT - I'm here to admit my snobbery and repent of it.  I could not find an unabridged copy of Little Women to save my life.  Turns out other members of my book club had them at their homes... but I was left with a version that had been "adapted for modern reading".  Granted, the "modern reading" that it was adapted for happened to be watching Barney Miller and Quincy M.E. on television instead of LOST and ER...  but I think I'm glad of it!  (ooh,   "glad of it"  that sounded SO Alcott)

As much as I enjoyed the story - I'm pretty sure that some of what was cut was the little plays they put on for each other and the newspaper articles they wrote together...  and I was skimming those anyway...  (more review here)

So to all the folks out there who make their living by "adapting", "abridging" and "condensing" - if I get a vote your jobs are safe...  unless of course you adapt, abridge, and condense down to the level of the Cliffs Notes... in which case I still harbor a little resentment.

Patience is a virtue... or at least that's what I hear...

I was never a very patient child... I ruined more than one Christmas surprise by sneaking, peeking, and slicing through a little scotch tape - there's an art to it!

When my kids got all sneaky a few Christmases ago (click here to see HOW sneaky) I thought it was all my fault...  genetics and all?

Turns out they actually take after their Dad! 

  I'm off the hook!!!!

Let me 'splain: a few years ago for Mother's Day my M.I.L. gave all of us daughters and daughters in law a copy of Dr. Laura's book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.  Yes, there were many jokes about how we weren't taking good enough care of her sons, but I'm going to disappoint you all if you're looking for a M.I.L. rant.  I have the best M.I.L. in the world.  Really.  It's not to be argued - it just IS - and I actually really liked the book and well, probably ought to give it an annual re-read to keep me on track!

Warning:  If you are my SIL - read no further

really - stop now...

seriously - it'll ruin your Sunday morning surprise...

well, you've been warned!

This year - a package arrives in the mail... all wrapped in a brown envelope and taped up - and feeling DISTINCTLY like a book.  M.O.T.H. and I had bets on whether or not I'd get the newest Dr. Laura installment for Mother's day (except we were both betting on "yes"...  not much to argue about there) and he wanted me to Immediately open the package.  

Me: (totally wanting to open the package) - "oh, I can wait... but to keep YOU happy..." (I'm already peeling back the tape)

M.O.T.H. - "you can't wait, you don't have patience"  (he's right... but I'm stubborn)

Me: (no words, I just put the package on the bed and went to get my pajamas)

M.O.T.H. - (also, no words... but when I turned around the package was opened - and I smiled because...) "she WRAPPED it too?"

Me:  "hehe"

M.O.T.H. - (no words again... but he tore a corner off my present!)

yep - there's the new Dr. Laura book - resting 1/2 wrapped on my Cozy...  and I'm totally excited to read it... after I finish unwrapping it on Sunday :)  Of course, now that M.O.T.H. has wrecked this surprise I'd better get two slices of Bacon with my Breakfast in Bed!  (no worries guys - I'm a Turkey Bacon girl...  and it has nothing to do with the Swine/N1H1 scare!)

See, I CAN be patient... after all - I'm still trudging through Little Women for book club... but that's ANOTHER story!

Going a little Braggedy-Ann on ya!

with all due apologies to Crash for stealing her "braggedy-ann" term - hopefully she will feel as flattered as Shakespeare does whenever I quote him ;)

But to make it clear - THIS is Raggedy-Ann:

and THIS is Braggedy-Ann... see, she's got somethin' to brag about... and it's not her fashion sense!

I have finally completed a few of those projects which all sat around for weeks (months)... wanna see?  do ya do ya do ya?  

First we have the cards I FINALLY sent!

Next is the bathroom that we finally got the finishing touches put on...

and then the food storage corner that got dusted and organized...

and the holiday corner that got moved from the closet - maybe now I'll decorate for groundhog's day?

the crafty corner (now if I'd just clear the countertop!)  I built those little wall cubbies all with my own little hands!!!

the scrapbook closet (formerly the holiday storage)

the camping closet

Sorry about all the bragging - I just needed to remind myself (and the M.O.T.H.) that we've come a long way baby!  (and yes honey, I do still plan to clean the house before my parents drop by this weekend)

I also helped re-stain the playground and fence in the backyard this weekend - but the only photographic evidence is the additional freckles that are currently covering my forearms.  I scrubbed and scrubbed until the biggest dots faded somewhat (who needs fake tanner?) but was not heartened when M.O.T.H. told me that nobody would notice - "they'll just think they're age spots"... gee, thanks!

Lights, Camera, Over-reaction!

Okay - I'm giving in... we've GOT to talk about this Swine Flu thing...

Ooops, I mean the N1H1 Virus that has NOTHING at all to do with  processed pork products - my apologies to the pork industry...

I've gotten notes home from the elementary school about what symptoms to look for and how to teach your kids to wash their hands and sneeze into their sleeve.  I don't have a problem with this.

The kids have all watched videos DEMONSTRATING the whole sleeve/cough thing.  and if it's HALF as funny as when W re-enacted it for me at home - this was probably a great diversion from their regular educational endeavors!

I've been called in to a meeting to discuss the pandemic emergency response plan put in place by the school district.  I was okay with this although I spent a good portion of the meeting wondering why I wasn't freaking out enough.  Maybe because so many OTHER people were freaking out for me?  Maybe there just isn't enough freak to go around?

Turns out that the local Health Dept is "considering" the closure of our schools.  I personally don't think this is a big possibility as the nearest confirmed case of swine flu is hundreds of miles away.  Combined with the fact that those confirmed cases are actually surprisingly mild - I'm chosen to conserve my freak.  

If... errr... that's a big if - IF the schools are cancelled - the plan is that the kids will finish the rest of their school work via phone/internet and we won't go back until next August.  As nice as this sounds... my font selector won't get the "if" get any larger... it's probably not going to happen.

The schools have bought out all the hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes from all of the local stores (I kid you not).  I'm even okay with this - because there IS a lot of pneumonia, regular flu, and even whooping cough going around.  Hey, sanitizing is just fine by me!

HOWEVER - what I am NOT okay with is the way some of the local kids are using freak willy nilly by claiming that so and so and so and so's cousin's hairdresser just went to Mexico and so we should probably quarantine them.  

and it's not just the kids.  My third grader came home with his backpacked CRAMMED full - apparently his teacher made them clean out their desks today - sent EVERYTHING home - art projects, etc...  just in case school was cancelled.  She told the class that the swine flu was worse than Cancer...  or at least that's what my son thought after her class.  I'm going to save all of my extra freak for her now...  not for her to USE, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to go ballistic with her at some point...  she is the same sweet teacher that informed the class last month that there is no such thing as the Easter Bunny.  What?  Did he catch N1H1?  Grrrr...