Wednesday, June 29, 2011

And to think that I saw it...

I dragged myself out of bed this morning - and headed out the door... not knowing the wonders that would meet my eyes and ears...

I ran up the hill (shhh, this is my story - I don't have to admit that I actually trudged slowly up the hill because I have no energy) and met a friend who I dragged off to find the mystery sound that had assaulted my ears as soon as I hit the street. What my ears heard: a young child yelling "MaMaaaa" every few seconds...

Reality? a chicken... stupid chicken.

Then I heard a sprinkler going WILD and watering a barren patch of dirt... I was all prepared to call this homeowner later and let them know they were being horrible earthlings by wasting our precious resources.

Reality? the air conditioner.

More Reality? I wouldn't call the neighbor... not because I lack the guts, but because I really couldn't care less about our precious resources.

Okay, REAL Reality? I care, I even turn off the tap when I brush my teeth, but if they want to pay some ridiculous water bill... oh wait, it was just an air conditioner - I can stop trying now...

Then we walked around the corner and headed up another ridiculously steep hill where a Komodo dragon was guarding the path.

Reality? the hill, more of a gradual rise... and it was a branch...

Throughout the morning I found myself seeing (and not seeing) many fun and interesting things...

Reality? reality is boring.

In reality - I need new glasses. and maybe I should have my hearing checked?

Life is WAY more fun when you just play along though!

Even Dr. Seuss agrees with me.

P.S. - a confidential Happy Birthday to my brother Neal... even though he never reads my blog... or the posts I leave on facebook... and rarely answers his phone... which frankly I rarely call...  so if any of my readers  live in the Provo area - if you don't mind walking around campus yelling "Happy Birthday Neal" I'd sure sleep better knowing he got the well-wishes :)

Monday, June 27, 2011

when teenagers cook...

For Father's Day we made these amazing Cinnamon Roll Pancakes... I blame Pinterest for this... but they were de-lish-us...

and yes, that did qualify me for Wife of the Year status.

The boys? they loved them... and since they QUADRUPLED the recipe last week they've been using up the cinnamon swirl stuff all week (new pancake batter each time, should have multiplied that by 12 apparently)

Eating these daily is probably not good for the waist line... but look how responsible he is being with his icing application!

I knew when the 14 year old asked me this morning - "Mom, how long does a sugar coma last" - that we were going to have troubles...

I'm pretty sure that's like eating a birthday cake for breakfast... minus the candles.

update: okay, okay, I can take a hint
that'll get you to the recipe... I think... just click on the picture, then click on the SAME picture on Pinterest...

Friday, June 24, 2011

If you have any self respect at all... a foray into Google's new Image search...

Image search is cool... cool on the level of Star Trek and the tricorder that diagnoses the patient in a matter of seconds.

okay, maybe not THAT cool... but still kind of cool.

To test it out I threw in a few random images from my desktop. If you've ever SEEN my desktop you'll know that it is a jumble of images, some of which I've forgotten where they came from. Google Image search found most in a matter of seconds... and then provided some "similar images" as well...

that is where the fun comes in.

I grabbed a picture that I happen to know only exists on the internet in a teensy tiny little Twitter I.D. form... mostly because it looks MUCH better on a smaller scale. This picture:

and then I dragged it into the Google Image Search Box... thinking that it would regale me with pictures of supermodels who I look similar to... or at least random screen shots of nature scenes that had the appropriate amount of blues and oranges...

but no, I get this Ego-deflating mixture...

7 out of the 20?  Guys. 3 of the 20? Old enough to be my grandparent.  Okay, so my parent at least!

Not that I'm slamming any of these people - some of whom are downright gorgeous...

but that lady (first column, second row) is  linked directly to her blog post about her bad haircut... and that guy on the top row (far right) well...  seriously, I just don't see the resemblance.

Now if I'd taken a picture of me 20 years ago in my rebel teen phase and gotten the second row center result I would not have been shocked, but today? 

So how's YOUR ego today?  Can it take this kind of a hit?  If not feel free to pop another picture of me in there, it certainly can't get any worse.

Knock on wood.  or something that looks visually similar to wood.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Future Planning - Sweet M Style

H had her hair cut last week - a sassy little short do that is perfect for the summer.

M, being H's shadow, was looking on. She wanted a cute short do as well - but she was having stress over the decision. Thinking that the decision would take days at most I cleaned up and put away the scissors and cape (the kind that keeps the hair off of the girls, not the kind I wear because I think I'm a Super Hero... I never put that away)

The source of her stress? She finally divulged to me that she wasn't sure she wanted to cut her hair that short because she wanted to have it long for prom.

She is Seven years old.

(we compromised, her hair is now to her shoulders, it should be able to grow back over the next ten years...)

On Sunday sweet M drew pictures in church again (this time she left out the "details" (wrinkles) on my face...

her most interesting picture was the design she made for her wedding cake.

13 layers... that's probably unlucky or something... unlucky for whoever has to drive it from the bakery to the reception at least!

This is a girl who has her life planned out!

Romance: I have been told a list of qualities and requirements... I might have added a few...

Career: She has moved from Doctor to Veterinarian (or Vegetarian... depending on whether or not she's confused that day)

House: She draws house plans with rooms dedicated to all of her favorite things... her friend A, movies, swimming, her sister... these are mansions of course and so she has a fall back plan in case she's not independently wealthy... she'll stay with me.

I am adding "independently wealthy" to the Romance list right now.

Kids: all girls - because boys are annoying.

I'm assuming that "not annoying" is already on her list for the perfect husband.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Braggedy Anne strikes again...

Because sometimes...

well - Autumn is just around the corner right? and Pride comes before the fall???


the fact is - the cake???

I rocked it.

First person to ask if those are gumballs around all the layers gets shot in the earlobe.  (they are fondant pearls, all handrolled...)
and no, I did not make these flowers by hand - the bride picked these out herself at TaiPan. (much easier for me!)

Maybe someday I will tell the WHOLE story...  the one that involves ten children munching on large pieces of cake disposing of evidence before my composure cracked as badly as a 16 inch layer when  someone doesn't perform a perfect flip/flip to get it out of the pan...

But for now - I'm just breathing a sigh of relief that it is made, displayed, cut, and eaten...

and now I can go back to reading your blogs this week :)

Friday, June 17, 2011

Sneak Peek... a.k.a. Wordless Friday

hey, what can I say... I'm SwAmPeD with this cake business!
those roses...  made entirely by hand - I'm proud of those :)

and shhh... I figure nature is imperfect - my goal with this cake is to avoid being this week's Cake Wreck... although it IS making a wreck out of me...

Maybe Jen and John (the Cake Wrecks people) will want to feature a picture of my frantic hair pulled face?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Nearly Wordless Wednesday - What Have I Been Up To?

19 cake mixes + 4 eggs whites each = one insane project

Monday, June 13, 2011

Having a Princess Bride Flashback in Church...

You will all have to forgive me this week... I am baking my heart out - and then decorating my heart out... which I'm SURE will be a funny story in the weeks to come, but until then I will only be dropping by to share small snippets.

Hopefully none of the small snippets will have to do with making pounds of cake balls out of ruined wedding cake?

For those that are still worried - the debit card fiasco was resolved without unpleasantness. I do still wish a little unpleasant upon the thieves... but otherwise I am letting it go :)


Today I am still laughing a little over what some nice older gentleman said in church yesterday... (and I quote... ermmm... well, paraphrase... it's not like I had a recording going of his talk...)

NiceOldGuy: "My wife and I both grew up in Southern California, we went to the same church, the same High School... but we waited before Hooking Up"

Me: (well, okay I didn't actually SAY anything out loud... but if I HAD it would have been this...)

"Ummm, Vizzini - you keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means..."
LOVE me some Princess Bride :)

(he also used the word "courting" which confused the young people in the room as well...)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Nearly Wordless Wednesday - Identity Theft

Let's just say that there's a certain local gas station that I ended up at last week that needs to step up their security.

and that maybe there's a certain amount of poetic justice that they tried to use their fake cards right before our payday...

Friday, June 3, 2011

Procrastination, Petrol, and Patty Loveless

I often say that I am the Queen of Procrastination.  Argue if you must, but that's the truth... you can be the Princess of Procrastination if you like... or the Prince... or the Duke or Duchess even, but Queen is all mine.

If I have a meeting at 2:00 it is not unlikely that I will wait until 1:15 to jump in the shower.  If I have to PRESENT at said meeting... Well, let's just say that when I spoke about blogging a few months ago I had a very late night cobbling together my presentation... in the morning?  I was just awake enough to slap on clothes, grab my notes (after forgetting them a few times), and jump in the car (someone else's car...  I'm a responsible exhausted person)

Today - procrastination caught up with me.  My gas light went on 3 days ago.  It being summer vacation I don't have too many places that I NEED to be... so I waited... and waited... and told myself with each 4 mile jaunt that I certainly had enough gas for this short trip.  This morning?  It could not wait any longer...  so I nudged the VeggieTeen a few minutes early - there are multiple gas stations on the way to his band rehearsal after all...

The first (my gas station of choice) had a big tanker truck parked there.  Now I have no idea if this is actually TRUE, but I heard once that the act of pumping gas IN to the underground tanks is liable to stir up the sludge that has settled to the bottom - and filling your tank at this point is a bad idea.  I'm a sucker for that kind of scary story so I passed on that station and continued my drive... passing on my possible misinformation to the VeggieTeen as one of his "life lessons"

Stations #2 is just a hop, skip, and jump further along the left side of the road...  so when I swerved into the right lane I got a questioning look from the Veggie Teen.

I guess he was expecting another "life lesson" about why I didn't want to get gas at this particular establishment... because he just laughed at me when I explained that that place piped loud Country music into the parking lot.

But... Country music makes me crabby.  Crabby drivers are bad drivers...  see, it was a safety lesson after all!

(For the record:  I love Google, I love that I can find a Country Music artist beginning with the letter P without actually having to know what they sing/drawl/twang... whichever)
(For the other record:  VeggieTeen was not even late to band practice... but I did have to only fill up the car to 1/3... still putting a huge dent in the bank account)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

What Th' Wednesdays - Fork Edition.

those of you who have read this blog for more than... well, 2 weeks... will suspect right away that "What Th' Wednesdays" may die at midnight tonight, rightfully so friends, rightfully so...

Frankly we here at "You Asked For it" will do anything on Wednesdays that begins with a W. We are eating Waffles for dinner tonight even.

and I'm going to use THIS fork to eat my waffles!

no... I'm not kidding... this is my favorite fork.

What?  you don't have a favorite?  When I was a kid we fought over my Grandma's "gold" fork... called the "gold" fork probably because it was gold.  My own sweet M loves the "flower" fork and willingly sets the table daily in order to be sure that she gets that fork.  If by any chance the flower fork is at your place setting when dinner time comes - you must have done something aMAZing for that girl recently!

but MY favorite fork has no flowers... is not gold...  it does THIS:

Wait for it...

I know... "What Th'...?" (I didn't call it that for nothing' guys!)

I was shopping with Veggie Teen... at this kitchen store place... (yes, I had to drag him in there kicking and screaming)  (or at least that's what I promised to tell my readers so that they'd know that he's truly a "man's man") and we came upon a display of forks...  and some spoons... but since I didn't actually BUY a spoon you just get to hear about the fork?

What on EARTH is this fork good for... yes, you might be asking yourself that very thing...

kinda like we asked...  and the salesgirl actually was completely clueless... 

So we had a good time coming up with some ideas... 

The Five Second Rule Fork...  Really, if you want to rescue that food before the germs and bacteria of the world converge upon your dropped treat - taking the time to scoot your chair out and lean down may be difference between dancing the night away and Necrotizing Fasciitis.  (a really nasty disease... probably not food borne, but I like that the spell check says it's WRONG even though I looked it up!)
Just Extend that handle, stab the dropped item (warning - grapes do have a tendency to roll away and avoid the tines), and proceed with your meal.

But wait... that's not all! (Oh Billy Mays...  we miss you) With this nifty kitchen gadget you will be able to avoid the most feared of all motherhood moments.  No, not that one...  yeah, not that one either. 

Okay, fine, stop guessing - I'll just tell you.  I have some picky kids.  Po in particular is apt to reject something new and has been known (about 9 years ago) to spew food from his mouth like a horizontal geyser.  Feeding from afar will solve the fear of catching a face full of Brussels Sprouts.

Though, seriously... if you're feeding your kids Brussels Sprouts you kinda deserve the repercussions... those are truly NaStY!

Next Up!  Is it summer time?  Are you craving S'mores?  No time to drive to the campground?  Worry no longer...  With the nifty difty Extendable Wonder you too can create the illusion of a warm summer's eve in your own kitchen.

Provided you have a gas stove...

Can't reach that itchy spot on your back?
Just please remember to wipe off the marshmallow mess first!

Out to dinner with new friends?  Someone else order something that you are a little envious of?  Don't let the fact that envy is a deadly sin stop you - take charge of the situation...
Seriously...  I mean, those were GOOD breadsticks...
(and a thank you to my new friends... because dinner was a laugh a minute... and because they're going to come by here to see their pictures... and because Kathryn, the one cracking up on the right, gave me the next idea!)

Food Fight?  The Fantastic Four Foot (not actual length) Food Flinger gives you an amazing amount of leverage.  Your lunchroom opponents will Run (not walk) in the opposite direction, cursing you and your fork of awesomeness. (sorry, no picture...  somehow I didn't think the restaurant would appreciate that one...)

Warning:  Manufacturer of fork (whom I have had absolutely NO contact with) will not be held responsible fork injury caused to self or others by food-borne-illnesses, projectile food, vigorous backscratching, Melted Marshmallow burns, eyes poked by distance feeding, or damages incurred when you have to run from the restaurant when they accuse you of pocketing their silverware.  Blogger claims same protection from prosecution... for all the same reasons... and maybe a few more.

Disclaimer:  Heads up FTC guys - I paid for my own fork... I was not compensated for providing the link to said fork, I even paid for my own dinner (and did not actually eat Hayley's).  So we're all good :)