Wednesday, June 1, 2011

What Th' Wednesdays - Fork Edition.

those of you who have read this blog for more than... well, 2 weeks... will suspect right away that "What Th' Wednesdays" may die at midnight tonight, rightfully so friends, rightfully so...

Frankly we here at "You Asked For it" will do anything on Wednesdays that begins with a W. We are eating Waffles for dinner tonight even.

and I'm going to use THIS fork to eat my waffles!

no... I'm not kidding... this is my favorite fork.

What?  you don't have a favorite?  When I was a kid we fought over my Grandma's "gold" fork... called the "gold" fork probably because it was gold.  My own sweet M loves the "flower" fork and willingly sets the table daily in order to be sure that she gets that fork.  If by any chance the flower fork is at your place setting when dinner time comes - you must have done something aMAZing for that girl recently!

but MY favorite fork has no flowers... is not gold...  it does THIS:

Wait for it...

I know... "What Th'...?" (I didn't call it that for nothing' guys!)

I was shopping with Veggie Teen... at this kitchen store place... (yes, I had to drag him in there kicking and screaming)  (or at least that's what I promised to tell my readers so that they'd know that he's truly a "man's man") and we came upon a display of forks...  and some spoons... but since I didn't actually BUY a spoon you just get to hear about the fork?

What on EARTH is this fork good for... yes, you might be asking yourself that very thing...

kinda like we asked...  and the salesgirl actually was completely clueless... 

So we had a good time coming up with some ideas... 

The Five Second Rule Fork...  Really, if you want to rescue that food before the germs and bacteria of the world converge upon your dropped treat - taking the time to scoot your chair out and lean down may be difference between dancing the night away and Necrotizing Fasciitis.  (a really nasty disease... probably not food borne, but I like that the spell check says it's WRONG even though I looked it up!)
Just Extend that handle, stab the dropped item (warning - grapes do have a tendency to roll away and avoid the tines), and proceed with your meal.

But wait... that's not all! (Oh Billy Mays...  we miss you) With this nifty kitchen gadget you will be able to avoid the most feared of all motherhood moments.  No, not that one...  yeah, not that one either. 

Okay, fine, stop guessing - I'll just tell you.  I have some picky kids.  Po in particular is apt to reject something new and has been known (about 9 years ago) to spew food from his mouth like a horizontal geyser.  Feeding from afar will solve the fear of catching a face full of Brussels Sprouts.

Though, seriously... if you're feeding your kids Brussels Sprouts you kinda deserve the repercussions... those are truly NaStY!

Next Up!  Is it summer time?  Are you craving S'mores?  No time to drive to the campground?  Worry no longer...  With the nifty difty Extendable Wonder you too can create the illusion of a warm summer's eve in your own kitchen.

Provided you have a gas stove...

Can't reach that itchy spot on your back?
Just please remember to wipe off the marshmallow mess first!

Out to dinner with new friends?  Someone else order something that you are a little envious of?  Don't let the fact that envy is a deadly sin stop you - take charge of the situation...
Seriously...  I mean, those were GOOD breadsticks...
(and a thank you to my new friends... because dinner was a laugh a minute... and because they're going to come by here to see their pictures... and because Kathryn, the one cracking up on the right, gave me the next idea!)

Food Fight?  The Fantastic Four Foot (not actual length) Food Flinger gives you an amazing amount of leverage.  Your lunchroom opponents will Run (not walk) in the opposite direction, cursing you and your fork of awesomeness. (sorry, no picture...  somehow I didn't think the restaurant would appreciate that one...)

 
Warning:  Manufacturer of fork (whom I have had absolutely NO contact with) will not be held responsible fork injury caused to self or others by food-borne-illnesses, projectile food, vigorous backscratching, Melted Marshmallow burns, eyes poked by distance feeding, or damages incurred when you have to run from the restaurant when they accuse you of pocketing their silverware.  Blogger claims same protection from prosecution... for all the same reasons... and maybe a few more.

Disclaimer:  Heads up FTC guys - I paid for my own fork... I was not compensated for providing the link to said fork, I even paid for my own dinner (and did not actually eat Hayley's).  So we're all good :)

15 comments:

S said...

I love it! This post was worth the wait. Thanks for the smile, and laugh.

Annette Lyon said...

Holy crap, that fork is long!

I'm weird when it comes to forks too. We have two sets of silverware mixed in together. I CANNOT eat off one set. I MUST have a fork from the other one.

It's a cosmic law.

Saimi said...

Lovin' that fork! Does it come in a set of 12?

Jenny P. said...

I am just like Annette. I have a preferred set of silverware too and will always, always fish out a fork from the set I like the most.

But that fork? That's just funny.

TisforTonya said...

I prefer one set of my regular silverware as well... they're even in separate drawers and never the twain shall meet. That doesn't make me neurotic though... really.

Kristina P. said...

I sort of want that fork.

I have a set of Ikea silverware and I like to only eat with the small forks and spoons. I feel like I am shoveling food in with the big stuff.

Sher said...

When we were little we fought over the disney forks and spoons -- now I too have a favorite set of silverware which I always give myself when I set the table. I think it's rather funny that you bought that fork and did a big post on it and took it to dinner with your friends. It looks like you and your fork had some good fun.

Garden of Egan said...

That is hilarious!

LC said...

That is one crazy utinsel. I'm glad you know what to do with it. You really should write their advertising campaign. Everyone will want one. I do, esp. for the stovetop smores.

Megz said...

I'd only invite you over for dinner if we had a super long table and everybody wore safety goggles.

Chels said...

I love that your whole post was dedicated to the most awesome fork in the history of utensils.

When I was young, my siblings and I all fought over the "princess" dishes.

Teachinfourth said...

That is the coolest fork I've ever seen...

Hayley Bradshaw Photography said...

HAHA YES!!! Best GNO ever :D

Charlotte said...

I am totally jealous. Coolest fork I've ever seen! That is ... until it springs fully long in the middle of a bite. I'm pretty sure only cartoons would survive that!

Jen T said...

That fork is just the best! My kiddos would love it!!! And probably kill each other with it in 5 minutes. . .