Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Facebook Fifteen

Back in my college days I was warned of the ever dreaded "Freshman Fifteen" - apparently it's an inevitable part of moving away from home and eating dorm food...  which allows you to refill your plate multiple times and nobody EVER tells you that you can have dessert if you finish your heaping portion of three bean salad. (excuse me for a minute - the very THOUGHT of that just made me a little ill) 

I had terrible worries about having to purchase larger clothes by the end of my first semester (never mind that I started during a summer quarter) and never being asked out by any of the football players.

Hmmm... I actually don't think I ever DID date any football players after all...   I wonder... nope, probably too late to remedy that.  Does it count that we are constantly getting mail for someone who played football at my college because he happens to share a name with my husband?  It'll have to do - unless ManOfTheHouse wants to go back and play some college ball because I am OVER the dating scene - phew!

Where was I?  Oh yeah... the Freshman Fifteen...  those wonderful fifteen pounds that you cannot move into your sophomore year without.  I think they weigh you on the way out of the dorms.

The thing is?  I didn't gain them.  Maybe it's because I only lived in the dorms for 2 months before moving off campus (FAR far off campus) without a car.  Also might have helped that I was too poor to eat at the CougarEat and had to walk home for lunch (or spend a maximum of .75 in the vending machines) where I probably ate rice and tuna fish. 

Apparently I was warped from some lack of fulfillment in life because of this inability to pudgify myself.

Well, worry no more!  Facebook has saved the day!!!  You see, Facebook has reintroduced me to hundreds of friends I didn't know I couldn't live without.  It has become my main method of communicating with people who live down the street.  It has even provided me with mindless entertainment in the form of games where my competitive nature kicks into overdrive.  It's official, since joining facebook I have become a lazy son of a gun and gained my Facebook Fifteen.   Awwww, my little girl is finally growing up!!

Okay - so this is nothing I'm proud of...  promise me, if you see me on Facebook - poke me in the eye.  (I think there's an app for that!)  (I wish I were kidding about thinking that)  And if you see that I have been playing GAMES on Facebook???  Well, first assume that it was my kids doing the actual playing (because that might actually be true... except Sudoku - that's all me) and THEN poke me in the eye.

I think it would help if I placed my laptop 3 miles from my home and hid the car keys. 



I want to point out for the record that BLOGGING is not the cause of my Facebook Fifteen... because I am able to walk away from Facebook (or at least cut back drastically) whereas blogging is completely healthy and non-obsessive and I should not have to modify my blogging schedule in the least in order to once again be a svelte supermodel mom.  (Think Heidi Klum... but shorter... and brunette...  and... well, less "vavavoom")

17 comments:

MommyJ said...

I was a freshman all of about fifteen minutes before I was getting married. No. That's not entirely true. I finished one semester of school before I got married... so any weight gained could also be contributed to the newness of marriage - the desire to eat wonderful delicious things with a man I love simply because I can... I don't remember.

All I know is that five kids later, there's uh definitely fifteen pounds laying around that wasn't here when I was a freshman.

Lisa said...

Oh. My. He#%. FACEBOOK FIFTEEN?! Seriously? THAT IS HYSTERICAL! BUT...and this is sad...I think mine is closer to the Facebook Forty. Which goes along well with my age, don't you think? You slay me.

Kristina P. said...

We are friends on FB, right?

Holly said...

Hmmm... I don't think we're FRIENDS on FB... or I would... LOL!! I could attribute 15 to MANY things... COLLECTIVELY... here... and there... I'm in shape... ROUND IS a SHAPE! ;p

(((HUGS)))

S said...

Dang you're good. I wish I could blame my 15 on FB or something. Oh no, it is just me loving to eat food that is not good for me!

You seriously crack me up and always, always, just when I need it.

Barbaloot said...

So facebook is where this 15 pounds came from?! Good to know I don't have to cut out chocolate now:)

Annette Lyon said...

I don't dare even touch the FB games, because I know it would be a black hole I'd never escape from.

That said, I still have 15 (who are we kidding? More like 25) that I will happily blame on FB.

Teachinfourth said...

I hate getting updates on how many cows are lose in somebody's fields…I learned soon how to turn off all of those notifications. Facebook is a much happier place now.

Arrived here via Cheeseboy.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Mine is definitely the Blogging 15 or 20 or something? What!?

One Cluttered Brain said...

LOL!!
I don't do FB games really. I used to but they freeze up too much. And besides with blogging, twitter, blogfrog, commenting, book reviews, writing...
Not to mention the OFF line stuff I do everyday, I hardly have time for FAcebook....

I love it, but only as a tool to connect with others. And so far Twitter is winning that battle for me...

Love you T!
Can't wait until the fall until a nice Fall bloggy meet up!! :)

LC said...

It was nice to have you over. Breakfast was so good I'm sure I'd gain an extra 15 if I ate that every morning. Thanks for coming!

Anjeny said...

This is heeheelarious although mine was more than fifteen. Like MommyJ, I was a freshman for a very short six months, yep, my man I ended up marrying couldn't leave me alone so I punished him by marrying him...LOL.

Actually I'm glad you're playing on FB, totally justify my logging on fb to play with all my fb friends... :)

just the five of us said...

You are so funny! I am trying to stay away from facebook, but the darned thing is addicting! I mean, I wouldn't even have a facebook if it wasn't for you and my sisters encouraging me....so who can i blame for the weight? :) Lol

amyg said...

You are too funny! Have a great day.

Charlotte said...

Being overly ambitious, I have gained a facebook 30.

Also, I did not know there was sudoku on FB, thanks for that info. I will now invite you to my current FB time consuming game, Family Feud (or is that the opposite direction you wanted to head?)

T said...

ACK, Charlotte!!! my whole family is constantly sending me family feud invites...and as much fun as it is... well, do you REALLY want to be responsible for another 5 pounds? (shoot, I have the feeling that answer might be yes...)

Charlotte said...

I think I can live with gaining you five more pounds if it means you help me win fast money...