The Facebook Fifteen

Back in my college days I was warned of the ever dreaded "Freshman Fifteen" - apparently it's an inevitable part of moving away from home and eating dorm food...  which allows you to refill your plate multiple times and nobody EVER tells you that you can have dessert if you finish your heaping portion of three bean salad. (excuse me for a minute - the very THOUGHT of that just made me a little ill) 

I had terrible worries about having to purchase larger clothes by the end of my first semester (never mind that I started during a summer quarter) and never being asked out by any of the football players.

Hmmm... I actually don't think I ever DID date any football players after all...   I wonder... nope, probably too late to remedy that.  Does it count that we are constantly getting mail for someone who played football at my college because he happens to share a name with my husband?  It'll have to do - unless ManOfTheHouse wants to go back and play some college ball because I am OVER the dating scene - phew!

Where was I?  Oh yeah... the Freshman Fifteen...  those wonderful fifteen pounds that you cannot move into your sophomore year without.  I think they weigh you on the way out of the dorms.

The thing is?  I didn't gain them.  Maybe it's because I only lived in the dorms for 2 months before moving off campus (FAR far off campus) without a car.  Also might have helped that I was too poor to eat at the CougarEat and had to walk home for lunch (or spend a maximum of .75 in the vending machines) where I probably ate rice and tuna fish. 

Apparently I was warped from some lack of fulfillment in life because of this inability to pudgify myself.

Well, worry no more!  Facebook has saved the day!!!  You see, Facebook has reintroduced me to hundreds of friends I didn't know I couldn't live without.  It has become my main method of communicating with people who live down the street.  It has even provided me with mindless entertainment in the form of games where my competitive nature kicks into overdrive.  It's official, since joining facebook I have become a lazy son of a gun and gained my Facebook Fifteen.   Awwww, my little girl is finally growing up!!

Okay - so this is nothing I'm proud of...  promise me, if you see me on Facebook - poke me in the eye.  (I think there's an app for that!)  (I wish I were kidding about thinking that)  And if you see that I have been playing GAMES on Facebook???  Well, first assume that it was my kids doing the actual playing (because that might actually be true... except Sudoku - that's all me) and THEN poke me in the eye.

I think it would help if I placed my laptop 3 miles from my home and hid the car keys. 



I want to point out for the record that BLOGGING is not the cause of my Facebook Fifteen... because I am able to walk away from Facebook (or at least cut back drastically) whereas blogging is completely healthy and non-obsessive and I should not have to modify my blogging schedule in the least in order to once again be a svelte supermodel mom.  (Think Heidi Klum... but shorter... and brunette...  and... well, less "vavavoom")