Monday, October 11, 2010

My Dream Man

In honor of the fact that I have (as of Thursday) been married for seventeen years - I had planned on telling you all the wonderful things about "ManOfTheHouse"... and yet - every time I sit down to write this it turns into a sob story about why on earth he puts up with someone like me!?!?!


and although that has a LOT more "funny" potential than a gushy post about M.O.T.H. - it was also a little bit depressing... and maybe revealing.



So... let's talk about dreams. Are your dreams vivid? I don't mean color vs. black and white... I mean... do you wake up not quite sure which 'reality' you're a part of? You see, a long time ago (seriously, I think I was pregnant with our first kid... ahhh... that actually explains a LOT)... I woke from my dream in quite the mood. I couldn't really put my finger on it... but I was MAD... no strike that... I was furious.


Then M.O.T.H. woke up. The pieces started to fall into place... I was still mad... but now anger had a name.  I was mad... at... HIM! Ooooh, and was I ready to let him have it!


Luckily, before I'd gone too far down the "unstoppable tirade" path - pieces of my dream floated into my memory.

(insert fuzzy edged background here...)

"dream hubby" had gone to work and sat at a table with a female coworker. "dream coworker" had invited my clueless "dream hubby" out for lunch the next day. Clueless "dream hubby" had asked my dream self and my dream self had told him that I wasn't comfortable with it. "dream hubby" didn't understand that "not comfortable with" is a kissin' cousin of "over my dead freakin' body" and went out to lunch.


I started to tell him this part of the dream - and he laughed at me for getting so worked up over it. Mistake #1 might have been picking me as his eternal mate, but mistake #2 was definitely choosing to argue with a pregnant lady because I immediately asked him why it was ridiculous to worry whether or not he was going on lunch dates with other women. (seriously, I think the only women he worked with were 20 years his senior...)


...and then... the rest of the dream resurfaced.... because "dream coworker/hussy" had obviously read more into their lunch than "dream clueless jerk that I married" and had cut paper hearts out of construction paper and pasted them all over our "dream apartment" and his "dream Geo"...



Luckily he's a quick learner... because he stopped arguing with the crazy pregnant lady right then and there... and made me breakfast. I'm MUCH more reasonable with a little protein in me. Or sugar...

13 comments:

Missy said...

I have awoken mad one time in my life. I could not remember the dream, but I was very angry. I am almost certain the dream was about my DH! LOL

Kristina P. said...

I really think you need to introduce Batman into your marriage to spice things up.

Cherie said...

I am a very emotional and vivid dreamer. I have definately woken up mad, scared, in lala land - You name it. It is such a weird sensation.
Ha Ha Sometimes men can't get a break they get blamed when they are awake and when they are asleep!

Saimi said...

Your feelings are very valid pregnant or not. I have done that very same thing, woke up in a weird mood trying to sort dreamland from reality.

Good thing MOTH realized early on cause it's not good to mess with a groggy, hungry girl first thing in the morning!

Lisa said...

Oh, I SO get that! I've done it myself several times. And you're right~no sense arguing with a pregnant lady, because...well, we know why. Anyway, I hope he learned his lesson and that those hearts on his car got rained on and ruined. Stupid hussy.

Cheeseboy said...

Fortunately my wife does not have dreams that she remembers. Ever. Or at least she says. Although she did wake me up the other night in a fit of rage, calling me a dorkface. She was sleep talking, but still, there had to be some truth to it, right?

Garden of Egan said...

Wow, I've been gone a few days and have a dinosaur computer..........................are you pregnant?

Z said...

I woke up one morning because I had punched the wall, and it hurt a LOT. Luckily, I didn't break anything, but I had bruises for weeks. ... It's a good thing that I am not married, because I don't just get mad, I beat things up in my sleep. :)

One Cluttered Brain said...

I was just gonna ask the same question..R U pregnant?
i guess if you are Batman DID spice up things in the bedroom....
ohh la la...

LOL.
Love ya T!

T said...

okay, okay... official announcement


NOT preggers! Sheesh guys...

#1 - my family would KILL me if this is how I announced such a thing (were it possible, which it is NOT)

and #2 - *Shudder*

Old lady bloggers like me (okay... so I'm not THAT old, just old enough to know that my six year old is as young as I can manage) leave that sort of thing up to the lovely Serene...

Charlotte said...

My dream husband is a total jerk, good thing his real life counterpart makes up for it.

The Sports Mama said...

Yeah. I dream about being married to a clueless man quite frequently. :)

He's learned to recognize the signs, though...and will only ask how many times he needs to apologize for various dream deeds. :)

See Mom Smile said...

I am sooo affected by my dreams. If I have had a sad or disturbing dream, my heart hurts when I wake up.