Friday, October 8, 2010

When men are running late...

5 minutes late -we are annoyed.

10 minutes late - you have been in a traffic jam

15 minutes late - the traffic jam was caused by an accident

20 minutes late - of COURSE you were involved in the accident

23 minutes late - when is the hospital going to call???

25 minutes late - you must be dead

26 minutes late- how on earth am I going to notify your family? 

27 minutes late- where are those phone numbers...

28 minutes late- is your good suit back from the cleaners?

28 1/2 minutes - I wonder if his car is totalled - the teen gets his license soon...

29 minutes late- should I buy a new tie to bury you in... or is that wasteful?

30 minutes late- I hope they don't serve "funeral potatoes" after the services... I like those and it would ruin them for me.

35 minutes - Crud... this is really going to put a damper on the holidays...

40 minutes - shoot... I wonder if he fixed that leaky sink before he left for work... because I don't want to call a plumber.

45 minutes late - Wait... is that his car?

46  minutes late...  "Hi Honey...  hope you had a good day... sorry your dinner is cold!"

(not necessarily in that order... but yes, seriously!)

18 comments:

Missy said...

That is funny! I do not like Funeral Potatoes either! LOL

Kristina P. said...

I would have thrown the potatoes at him.

One Cluttered Brain said...

Jeez.
Some people's husband's..Try 2 or 3 hours late...Yup, my husband...
*sigh*

Throw the WHOLE dinner on him.

Cheeseboy said...

I wish I would have written this. Brilliant.

T said...

I feel I should defend ManOfTheHouse... luckily (after explaining this funeral planning mentality to him) he is quite good at calling home when he is going to be late. Now I only plan the speakers and the songs when he is off camping and doesn't have cellular coverage.

Megz said...

In the Days of the Cell all funeral planning is gone from our home. Hub will receive several calls from me en route--"Where are you now?" "Which exit did you just pass?" This takes all the fun out of my widow planning, but it sure does make dinner time easier to estimate!

Charlotte said...

I married a man whose estimated arrival home time can vary from right on time to 3 hours late. I've learned to save the funeral plans until after 5 hours at least. The cold dinner I do not save.

Connie said...

Sometimes I don't even notice he's late unless we have somewhere to go!
I LOVE funeral potatoes but having them at a loved one's funeral would probably change my mind.

Lisa said...

Hahahahahaha! I love it! Especially the wasteful tie purchase. :)

April said...

I'm usually the one who is late and he never asks. Should I be worried?

LC said...

So well said!
And yes, Megz, cell phones would definitely take the fun out of funeral planning.
T you are hilarious!

Barbaloot said...

You know-they have these new inventions called cell phones wherein you can contact your loved ones to find out where they are... Just sayin:)

Jen T said...

Been there, except in our town the traffic jam wouldn't happen. Not enough cars.

Living the Scream said...

I do the exact same thing then when my husband gets home I never know weather to hug him or yell at him

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

You said it! And? We do this about, oh, 5 times a week here!

Kelley said...

That was good!! I really liked the part about the potatoes. Ha! I so know what you mean...

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

OMHeck! Amen, and amen!!! LOL!

See Mom Smile said...

seriously. That cycle works for late teenageres too!