Monday, October 17, 2011

It doesn't get more random than this...

Sometimes there's just so much going on in life that you just don't know where to start.

and sometimes life is just dull as dirt and there's nothing to tell...

and sometimes... well, sometimes it's hard to know the difference.

picture from - because I'm too lazy to upload mine.

I have beautiful new orchids on my table.  They were an anniversary gift from ManOfTheHouse.

We've been married 18 years.

Apparently they were all out of the cards that said "We've tolerated each other for this long... if it ain't broke don't fix it"

We're WAY romantic like that.

Which is probably why we ended up seeing "Dial M for Murder"...

Maybe he was hoping I'd snuggle in close during the scary parts?

Probably not.  It was HOT in that theatre.

Is it wrong to take off your shoes?  Because if it is I SO didn't do that.  Even if I really wanted to.

But those orchids?

They are mocking me with their difficult upkeep...

or maybe they are quivering in fear knowing that as a child I even killed my "air plant"

and now that I think about it... maybe the "air plant" was just a hunk of Spanish Moss that my parents were testing me with.

I failed.

Yes, you should all probably be very afraid for my children.

Especially the one who decided to add Tenor Saxophone to his instrumental repertoire on Sunday afternoon.

I am currently not in a financial position to soundproof his bedroom...

Confession: he's actually quite good for someone who has been playing for only 3 hours... but there's nothing funny about successes.

Failure is a MUCH better breeding ground for humor.  Case in Point: Rodney Dangerfield.

But then again...  seriously Rodney... have a little self respect. 
also not mine... you really think I'd have this around???  crazy.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I saw that movie.  Years ago.

Maybe instead of me being embarrassed my mother should be mortified because she took me to see it.

I think she also insisted we leave about 15 minutes into the movie.

Hey, give her a break - we all have our little "parent fail" moments...

Wait... reflecting on my own parent fail moments I have to amend an earlier statement.

Failure isn't always funny...  sometimes it just sucks rocks.  Of course, before I had teenagers some of my worst parent fail moments probably involved my kids sucking actual rocks. And dirt. And sand. And any assortment of insects that were on the carpet because I hadn't vacuumed in the past 7 minutes.

Would you believe me if I told you I was berated by a complete stranger because my then infant daughter was munching away on some sand.  At the sand dunes.

Would you think less of me if I told you that I said that fiber is good for our digestion?

and then waited for her to be out of sight before swooping down and washing out my daughter's mouth...

Because while I can find humor in my failures - I certainly don't appreciate other people finding them a source of amusement before I'm ready to laugh about it.

That air plant though - I'm ready for all the teasing you can dish out...

My curiosity just got the better of me.  Mr Google tells me that there is such a thing as "live Spanish Moss"... as well as a large number of air plants... apparently my parents were not making up the entire thing.

For the record - next time I get an air plant I want the one named "Funkiana"...
image from - my favorite (only) source for air plant information.

Not the prettiest of plants to be honest... but I can't wait for the next time I'm at a boring meeting and can say "Oh, I'm sorry to cut this short, but I've really got to get home and not water my Funkiana"...

It'll probably go over a little better than the "I've got to wash my hair" excuse.


Random enough for you? c'mon... you've never discussed Orchids, Rodney Dangerfield, and Funkiana before? Obviously you do not try to carry on conversations with me early in the morning. :)


Michelle said...

hehe Thanks for the giggle to start my day. At least she didn't threaten you with the authorities so they can take away your children like a stranger did to me. Still not over it. Telling these strangers to mind their own business only makes them meaner. Oh, well. Keep up the good parenting.

Kristina P. said...

I love orchids. They are so pretty. But yeah, I kill everything.

Saimi said...

Not a single live plant in my house. You see I've turned over a new leaf...a fake one that is.

All of my plant don't require watering.

LC said...

Tenor sax is cool.
If not plant growth, you are certainly creating a home environment for artistic growth:)
Happy Anniversary!

Jen T said...

You are good at random :) Happy anniversary and good luck with the Orchid!! They are pretty if you can keep them alive. . .

Melanie Jacobson said...

I love random.