Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My willpower is officially a "Limited Edition"

I don't eat chocolate.  Dark - blech, Milk chocolate - blech...  White Chocolate... okay, I actually love that one... love love love that one...  don't judge.

some of you already knew this about me...

and the rest of you better not be deleting me from your google reader.

avoidance of chocolate does NOT make me a freak of nature.

the freak of nature thing is just a coincidence.

I just... well, I don't like it, and I'm willing to admit that should probably count against my "woman points" and it might even keep me from joining in on certain church activities... but there it is. deal. If it's easier to cope with I actually CAN'T eat it without getting nasty stomach aches and migraines - I prefer to think that I have amazing willpower.

That willpower?  There are certain words that kill my willpower.  Without fail - these words have me questioning every resolve to eat well, avoid overspending, or to be a nicer human being.  The words?

"50% off"

"Clearance"

"Mom, you're not going to like this but..."

and the worst of them all?

"Limited Edition"

A few years ago my parents were in town on their way to Vegas (because let's be honest - Vegas is WAY more fun than my house) and I was at the store with them picking up "a few things for the trip"

Somehow "a few things" ended up including a bag of White Chocolate Limited Edition Pirate Pearls M&Ms.

When I got home I took a pair of scissors and snipped off the corner of the bag - removed just 3 little pearls and enjoyed them.  I then put a chip clip on the bag and stuffed it into the freezer door.  See?  Amazing Willpower at work.

My dad?  laughed and laughed and laughed some more...

Whatever - he probably laughed all the way to Vegas... I was going to show him - I had willpower oozing out my ears.

Gross.

I was going *munch* to show *munch* him how much will *munch* power I had.  *munch* When they *munch munch* came back *munch* through *munch* town... they'd see!

*munch munch munch munch munch inhale munch munch*

oh.

crap.

*Gobble*

Well, what actually ended up happening was that a few hours before they came back through town I ran off to the store and bought ANOTHER limited edition bag, matched up the corners so that the snip would be indistinguishable from the first. I ate just 3 little tiny pearls (by this point I was getting pretty sick of them) and clipped them up and stuck them in the freezer door.

Yes, seriously.

I think my Dad checked out the bag... he was probably amazed at my willpower.  I don't know... I think I was in bed suffering from indigestion at that time.

See, "limited edition" is a dangerous word.

Apparently white chocolate M&Ms (with the normal colorful candy shells) were available as a test market in Australia for awhile before the pirate pearls came out.

It's a good thing I didn't live in Australia back then.

So this year - my will power is being tested to the EXTREME!

Candy Corn colored White Chocolate M&Ms.

I bought ONE bag.

but I've learned my lesson - this bag doesn't have a snipped corner... this bag is shoved WAY back in the freezer... behind the frozen peas where no kids will accidentally find them.

It's been there for FOUR weeks.

That my friends... that is willpower.

My nutrition class ends at the end of November...  I'll open the bag the next day. 

Any bets on how long it will last after that?



14 comments:

Saimi said...

HA! Willpower shmillpower, girl you are cracking me up! You have stooped to a whole new level and I love it!

buying a new bag to fool your dad HA, sounds like something I would do!!

Now I'm gonna have to give those a try!

Barbaloot said...

Ew. I wish I felt the same way about candy corn things that I do about chocolate. Then I could have amazing willpower, too!!

Seriously though, four weeks is awesome.

S said...

You go girl! This story is just as funny as the first time I heard it. Buying a new bag of candy to replace the one eaten - been there, done that multiple times.

Kristina P. said...

Candy corn is the Mario Lopez of Halloween.

Sher said...

You have willpower when you want. You just wanted those white chocolates more that day. Good job on the new ones. And I think visiting at your house is way better than going to Vegas.

LC said...

White chocolate is the new dark.
I'm sure we'll soon be reading about it's health benefits soon--at least mental health, right?
I love trying new products, that's my shopping weakness.

Melanie Jacobson said...

Damn you, Tonya. (Is that rude? But I mean it.) Now I have to go find some of those.

Garden of Egan said...

Amazing.
I don't think they have those in Idaho.
Thankfully.
I don't need one more vice.
I'm pretty much evil as it is.

Kazzy said...

I have never seen these crazy M&Ms before! I think your trip back to get that second bag is pretty dang clever!

N said...

...I'll have to see if I can't get another bar of that Swiss white chocolate I brought back from England for you years back... that was good stuff, as I recall.

Love ya, sis.
Middle N

Kelley said...

That is so funny that you went through all of that trouble to disguise the first bag you demolished. I love jokes like that! I haven't seen either of those bags at the store, probably because I avoid white chocolate! How could you?? (No judgement. Just a question.) Forgive me for sounding ignorant for a minute. Are you a member of the Mormon church? I'm not but for some reason I thought you were. Is there a rule about not eating chocolate somewhere? Maybe it helps that you don't even like it!

just the five of us said...

Way to Go T!!! How about limited edition carmel candies?? How are you then?? LOL

love ya, janet

Teachinfourth said...

Those sound fantastic...I've never even HEARD of candy corn M&Ms. Right now Peanut Butter is my addiction.

Jen T said...

I should send you my bag of the candy corn M&Ms because no one at my house likes them. I am a sucker for those limited edition things too--like the kraft marshmellows? Have you seen the new gingerbread and pumpkin spice ones? I'm on it :)