Monday, January 19, 2009

Another Story Rug Installment

Partly because I know everyone loves to hear about my past - and partly because I am really in a writing funk - I am going to share another childhood story...  except this one took place when I was 17... so maybe young nearly adulthood?

Anyway - My dentist had declared that the wisdom teeth needed to go.  This scared me out of my mind...  I hate that gas in the dental office (gave me funky surgery flashbacks more than once), and I hate injections (especially in the mouth!) and to top if all off... I didn't swallow pills too well (read as "gag", "spew", and "Yog" every time I tried)  something about my Dad telling me a Sudafed was chewable when I was about 5...  

So knowing that I needed to take these anabolic steroids before and after the tooth removal in order to avoid the chipmunk look - my vanity won over my psycho-somatic fear of pills...  and to be honest, but the time it came to needing to take the Percodan AFTER the procedure, I was REALLY good at swallowing pills.

When scheduling the procedure I hadn't known that the very day of the yanking would also be my first day in the theatre for my directorial debut (ummm...  actually - not all that exciting, I was directing "The Good Doctor" by Neil Simon for the Senior night of plays).  I didn't dare miss this - I needed to be there... so, being the good little girl I missed only my morning classes (AP english, all my academic classes) but made sure to get back to school in time for chamber choir, jazz choir, and theatre...  

Remember how good I was at taking Percodan?  Well, I took 1/2 a pill (they were HUGE - 1/2 was plenty!) and waltzed into the school... I didn't feel any pain at all...  I made it all the way to the choir room before I needed to rest.  I sat down in the choir director's chair (really, a stool... really tall...) and I rested my feet on his music stand (the big heavy type, not those wimpy ones).                     Well...  soon I noticed that my feet were moving further away from my body... to my Percodan influenced mind it appeared that my legs were getting longer.  To my 4'11" body this was an exciting prospect - me?  Tall?  Awesome!!!!              For anyone that knows me they should also know that I don't know how to shut up... even when it might cause me great embarrassment for many many MANY years to come!  I loudly and proudly announced to the room:  "My legs are growing - I'm going to be Tall!!!!"

I'm pretty sure this was the point in the story where my friend J (whose wife is probably reading this... Hi S!) came over and gently lifted me down from the chair and told me he'd drive me home.  

What?  Go Home?  Helk no!  I needed to be there to direct my show... besides, J was directing the other show and my Percodan induced mind was not about to give his cast MY day in the auditorium!!!  So, J escorted me down the hall, up the stairs and to the stage... where he left me to wait for my cast.  

Next?  Hmmm... I'm not sure, something about standing up and walking backwards to get a good look at the stage maybe?  All I remember was suddenly being at the bottom of the orchestra pit on my bum...  luckily - I was already ON pain pills, no need to worry!  I did get out of the orchestra pit...  and I made it through the rehearsal...  and I have little memory of the direction I gave - but somehow there were some HILARIOUS additions to the stage actions the next time we rehearsed :)

I don't take Percodan anymore...  I've learned my lesson :)

Some people just can't handle their mind-altering medications... humph!

13 comments:

mydogumentary said...

haha...I tried to do stuff the day I had my wisdom teeth out but instead of it being entertaining like that I had to leave in the middle of a prayer and almost fainted in the girls bathroom. Stupid wisdom teeth! :)

April said...

And THAT is why I think dentists are EVIL! hehehe!!! Ok, drugs are evil! But that was funny, but only because it happened to you and not me! hehehe!!!
(I still have my wisdom teeth! ALL of them!!!)

LC said...

Very funny. That stuff is powerful!

jewelstreet said...

lol! That was a hilarious story all except for the part with the dentist. I have a low tolerance for pain pills even though I've taken my fair share and I remember an incident(s) similar to that the first time I took demoral(sp?) and my motion sickness medicine-not at the same time.

cold cocoa said...

I forgot you were a drama princess and now you can add amateur druggie to the list.

Are you sure you weren't just pretending to be drugged to play the woman in distress role? Help from a hot stagehand?

Barbaloot said...

You don't like the gas? That's the ONLY good part about going to the dentist.

Barbaloot said...

And no-you are not even close to banned from my blog. I would never.

And let me know if you find shoes at Journeyz Kids that you like. They have size 3 (what I wear) of pretty much everything. And if your feet aren't that small (cuz apparently that's not normal for an adult) they even have 4s :)

Heidi Ashworth said...

So funny! I once oh-dee'd on tylenol with codeine. I was so high I knew I was going to die and started making out my will. Clearly I have a low tolerance for drugs.

lori said...

Oh, how funny, glad you were ALREADY on pain meds! when I had my wisdom teeth pulled out I took whatever they gave me and then went to sleep. Well, I woke up and the swelling had gone down, but the pill was still on my tongue, I was too swollen to tell before I fell asleep.

Megz said...

Can't believe you would attempt to go back to school on the same day! Getting my wisdom teeth out was an excellent excuse to lay low for a couple days and eat ice cream. Not to mention that my cheeks were HUGE and I wasn't about to go in public that way.

Jason and Summer said...

I do remember that, T...and I was just trying to help, despite your accusatory thoughts that I was trying to upstage you. I would never do that while directing...only when acting! haha Thanks for the memory, my friend.

Chelsi said...

Have you ever thought of writing an autobiography? You have the most unique stories to tell--it would be great! I'm glad this was a long time ago so I don't have to feel really bad for laughing at your misfortune.

Anonymous said...

In case anyone ever reads this again - I took percodan again... To deal with the pain after having spinal surgery apparently caused in part by taking a digger into an orchestra pit 20+ years ago... Not nearly as fun this time, although I do keep having waking dreams that overlap into real life and for some reason I have tried multiple times to accept things being handed to me by people who don't exist... Maybe if I could just get my hands on whatever they're handing me I'd have a funnier story :)