Anyway - My dentist had declared that the wisdom teeth needed to go. This scared me out of my mind... I hate that gas in the dental office (gave me funky surgery flashbacks more than once), and I hate injections (especially in the mouth!) and to top if all off... I didn't swallow pills too well (read as "gag", "spew", and "Yog" every time I tried) something about my Dad telling me a Sudafed was chewable when I was about 5...
So knowing that I needed to take these anabolic steroids before and after the tooth removal in order to avoid the chipmunk look - my vanity won over my psycho-somatic fear of pills... and to be honest, but the time it came to needing to take the Percodan AFTER the procedure, I was REALLY good at swallowing pills.
When scheduling the procedure I hadn't known that the very day of the yanking would also be my first day in the theatre for my directorial debut (ummm... actually - not all that exciting, I was directing "The Good Doctor" by Neil Simon for the Senior night of plays). I didn't dare miss this - I needed to be there... so, being the good little girl I missed only my morning classes (AP english, all my academic classes) but made sure to get back to school in time for chamber choir, jazz choir, and theatre...
Remember how good I was at taking Percodan? Well, I took 1/2 a pill (they were HUGE - 1/2 was plenty!) and waltzed into the school... I didn't feel any pain at all... I made it all the way to the choir room before I needed to rest. I sat down in the choir director's chair (really, a stool... really tall...) and I rested my feet on his music stand (the big heavy type, not those wimpy ones). Well... soon I noticed that my feet were moving further away from my body... to my Percodan influenced mind it appeared that my legs were getting longer. To my 4'11" body this was an exciting prospect - me? Tall? Awesome!!!! For anyone that knows me they should also know that I don't know how to shut up... even when it might cause me great embarrassment for many many MANY years to come! I loudly and proudly announced to the room: "My legs are growing - I'm going to be Tall!!!!"
I'm pretty sure this was the point in the story where my friend J (whose wife is probably reading this... Hi S!) came over and gently lifted me down from the chair and told me he'd drive me home.
What? Go Home? Helk no! I needed to be there to direct my show... besides, J was directing the other show and my Percodan induced mind was not about to give his cast MY day in the auditorium!!! So, J escorted me down the hall, up the stairs and to the stage... where he left me to wait for my cast.
Next? Hmmm... I'm not sure, something about standing up and walking backwards to get a good look at the stage maybe? All I remember was suddenly being at the bottom of the orchestra pit on my bum... luckily - I was already ON pain pills, no need to worry! I did get out of the orchestra pit... and I made it through the rehearsal... and I have little memory of the direction I gave - but somehow there were some HILARIOUS additions to the stage actions the next time we rehearsed :)
I don't take Percodan anymore... I've learned my lesson :)
Some people just can't handle their mind-altering medications... humph!