Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Good Mom vs. Healthy Mom



I’m not going all June Cleaver or anything but it seems that our society has re-defined “good mom” so many times that it stretches to include anyone who doesn’t beat their kids or leave them a box of saltines for dinner...  hmmm... there are days that I need to stretch the definition almost that much maybe.  But as a general rule I like to think that this good mom is the one that is spending some quality time with each of her children making sure they’re happy and well-adjusted.  

Recently: 

T and I have been making bread... we’ve pulled off some sweet rolls, cinnamon pull aparts, dinner rolls,  etc...  Tonight we almost  made some lovely eggrolls to celebrate the Chinese New Year...  ummm, we'll tell that disaster story later!

W and I have made some great peanut butter cookies, can you believe he’s almost 12 and didn’t know the fork trick!   He did at least make an effort to save my waistline - he added chocolate to the mix after the first 2 pans...  rendering them inedible to mom... well, except for that one that I picked out the M&M's...

P and I haven't made any food yet but it is on the schedule to make a batch of oatmeal cookies for a cub scout requirement!

H and I have run to Wendy’s to cash in her free frosty certificate - of course my strawberry shake wasn’t free, but it was time together!  She's also been trying out her Easy Bake Oven... and a good mom compliments her daughter's efforts right?

M has been begging since Christmas to make “Zoe’s recipe” - a sugar cookie recipe that came with some new doll clothes - so we did.

So, I think the choices are to be a good but "happy sized" mom OR a skinny mom that says No more than my kids want to hear... because as good as it sounds, I doubt my kids are going to be excited about learning to make tossed salad and hummus.


15 comments:

Heidi Ashworth said...

I so hear you. What with my health problems and all, I have to be really careful about what I eat. I routinely ask my daughter this question: which would you rather have-a mom who is happy and dies young or a mom who is here to see your own children but who is crank as heck. She has yet to decide. sigh . . . (good for you with the quality kid time and all--they will remember those times forever!)

roy/elisabeth dean said...

I always loved cooking with my girls; 1 paid attention, 1 thinks hamburger helper is good for at least 4 nights a week and the youngest starts the cooking then disappears with the telephone and re-appears when she hears the smoke alarm.
I agree...it's quality time! You sound like an awesome Mommy~
♥ Lilly

Heidi Ashworth said...

Okay, more about ME here--but I just wanted to point out how much more these bits of attention mean to them than they mean to us. I am one of 8 kids (and a twin to boot) and didn't get a whole lot of individual attention. One pretty much had to throw up before Mom did something that she wasn't doing for everyone else. The reason why I have always wanted to be a writer was b/c she read a little story I wrote when I was 7 and spent 30 seconds giving me some individualized attention about it. It marked me for life. So, the moral of this story is (I hope) that a little goes a lot further than we might think.

Kristina P. said...

When I was a DCFS caseworker, our standard was "good enough." And seriously, if some of those moms were good enough, you ARE June Cleaver.

April said...

Does watching basketball with the boys count? I hate baking!! But they do remember that I took them to work with me when I had my gift store. They remember the drives home when they could listen to whatever music they wanted to.

April said...

ps-I am the oldest and I was responsible for most of the cooking/baking at a tender age. I am still rebelling.

SWIRL said...

Is this therapy? Can I join the session?

Ya know- I think we do- what our parents DIDN'T do, which leaves things undone for our kids to do for our grandkids...ya know?

My mom did not cook dinner at night. {long story- short version- my dad was in the Navy- gone alot and why cook when kids are happy eating cereal? I ask this question myself- often.}

My mom came to ONE of my basketball games- I played varsity two years in HS. I was sooo nervous that one game - I did awful.

She didn't do those two things- but she did clean my room and do my laundry every day... (I'm spoiled I know.)So what do I focus on???? Yep
I'm at every game.. I cook almost every night... but my boys ... I'm training (against their wills) to do their own laundry and clean their rooms...

I just don't feel like it's my job. ( I mean- I never had to do it- so why is it my job now?) Here is where I need therapy.. cuz I'm the MOM and following my MOM role model I should be doing that.

Anyway- love the food for thought!

SWIRL said...

HEy- I've been such a dough- head and visiting your book review blog.. thinking you just don't post often...

Glad you commented about this blog- and I searched it out a little!
YOU'RE funny!

T said...

I think Swirl has a point - I do focus on a lot of the things I didn't experience as a child... of course, it may just be that we're similar because we're both Navy Brats?

April - car/music time was my favorite with my dad when I was a teenager! and basketball totally counts!

Heidi - I'm thinking I need to print up a t-shirt with a similar choice on it... "you pick - nice but cluttered mom or clean house and crabby mom... all of the above is NOT an option"

and hey, I wasn't fishing for compliments - but KP and Lilly just called me "an awesome mom" and June Cleaver - I think I'm actually in the mood to do the dishes ;)

Barbaloot said...

My mom spent A LOT of time with me in the kitchen. That's cuz I was the only girl and needed to learn to be a good wife/mother. I still kind of rebel against the kitchen---but since I'm neither wife nor mother at this point, I think I'm okay. I definitely think it's time you spend with your kids, doing whatever you like together, that counts.

And can I have some of those peanut butter cookies?

cold cocoa said...

When we can't seem to find something to do, and it's either a craft with no end vision (which is the messiest kind) or making some cookies, I try to steer the boat to cookies. The kids eat their sugar in bowls, and we're all doing something together.

I've yet to let to give the mother bowl's reigns to any child, though!

SWIRL said...

Glad the shirt came!

The Gibsons said...

Your a great mom. I wish I would spend more time with each of my kids one on one. I use to do a date night once a week. I might have to add that back in. Thanks for reminding me of what is truely important.

Megz said...

Too bad the kids don't want to seem to bond over scrubbing toilets or creating a healthy vegetable salad. So if you add a few lbs. to ensure a well adjusted kid so be it!
But why do the kids always want to crack the eggs? I hate that part.

Sher said...

I'm hoping it counts as individual time to listen to their stories as they come home from school. Occasionally I do something else with them besides chores-- like play the Wii (where I almost always lose) or go to dinner (with Derek who is great at the individual time with the kids thing). Dan gets lots of individual time so I'm great at one out of six.