I drove my 15 year old to school today (his first play performance today!!!) and mentioned that I had nothing to blog about. His eyes dart along the street and this is what happens:
Teen - Blog about... hmmm... Big Wheels!
Me - But I don't know anything about Big Wheels, I've never owned a Big Wheel...
Teen - (assuming the dramatic Freudian pose) And how do you feel about that?
Me - 'meh - yeah... don't care.
See, I fully recovered from my childhood Big Wheel disappointment! Without a therapist! My parents will be so thrilled!
For my part - as a parent - I am doing all that I can to support the therapists of the future.
My kids never know whether or not I want them to leave the door open or to shut it FAST. It makes perfect sense to me... if I'm paying for the A/C or the Heater - shut it fast... If I'm trying to use the good weather as my A/C or Heater - leave it open. Is it too much to expect the children to go and check the settings and the bills to see whether or not it's a Door Open or a Door Closed day? Really... too much huh? Guess we'll just use our Mom Scream at the Top of Her Lungs method... it's worked thus far.
Other things I do to ensure the survival of another generation of therapists?
1-take pictures when they make huge messes THEN scold them for their naughtiness.*
2-send jackets in their backpacks on cold mornings which become warm days.
3-"guys, that's enough screen time, shut off the TV - and then come here and see this funny I found on youTube"
4 -"no, I'm not buying you a sugary ice cream cone unless you eat your dinner! Now finish up those deep fat fried chicken nuggets - the trans-fat laden fries - and the bubbly soda so I know you have something 'good' in you before dessert."**
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Future therapists? you're. welcome.
*okay... so we don't actually do this anymore - but I won't deny that it ever happened...
** this either. really.
***image created by me, with a lot of help from VistaPrint...
14 comments:
And you are why I will always have job security. So thank you!
That was a wonderful laugh! I too am helping out the future therapists every way I can.
I hope the play goes well and I enjoyed the post.
I have already set up a therapy fund for each of my children and future grandchildren!
Yea the money we save for our kids college would actually better be spent on therapy for them! Funny stuff.
LOL! Loved the take photos and THEN scold the children. I always say to my girls, "Just because I am taking your picture doesn't mean that I am not REALLY angry!".
My nephews and I have a deal: when they are doing something bad I want to know so I can take their photo. If we get caught, I will publically scold them (because they are my brother's kids, not mine!).
So glad to hear you're over the Big Wheels frustration.
I'm still angry that the toys I wanted as a kid, as was told they were too expensive, are now bought for my nieces and nephews...at a higher cost. What the heck?
I like the last line...
Future Therapists? - addressing them that will be... conditionally...
you're. - yes, they are.
welcome. - why thank you.
I do exactly the same thing about the door open or closed. So glad to know I have a kindred sister in this "read my mind" mothering style.
C'mon, there's protein in those nuggets, and fries are a vegetable--didn't you get the memo? Welcome to the "Therapist Survival Guild"; accepting new members daily. We excel in the art of guilt, and feel no shame in embarrassing our children at every opportunity. No application fee necessary, just graying hair, bags under tired eyes, and voice hoarse from nagging. It's good to know I'm not the only member out there!
BUT did you ever ride a big wheel?
My neighbors had one and I rode theirs...
*sigh*
When I was little.
Maybe somebody needs to market a big wheel for adults...
Hmmm...
I'm thinking.
I'll get back to you on that ok?
I think it is our duty as parents to mess with our kid's minds. I'm so good at it that I even mess with other people's kids. I figure it's the least I can do!
It's all so true. It's enough to make me want to curl up in a ball and not parent at all. As long as I can get my fingers uncurled from their fists long enough to unpeel copious amounts of Hershey kisses, I'm good.
The coat in the backpack happens all the time here. My poor kids!
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