Monday, February 28, 2011

We live where it's nice and warm...

but within a quick drive of places that need this kind of warning signs...
"Snowboarding, sledding, skiing, tubing or other "downhill" activities are prohibited in this park."
This is what is known in legal terms as a "cover your bum clause"
Of course - being the law abiding citizens we are we follow such warnings.

see - they're going UPhill... not down...
early in the trip - M a big helper

that's not downhill...
Later in the trip - W has to lend a hand

Photographic evidence would suggest that we just kept going up that hill all afternoon.  Because we're obedient like that.

Even later still...  umm, lazy M!

there's not even a hill in this one!

and finally:

how'd that get in there?  I think we're technically still safe, because the "down" part of this experience consisted mainly of falling "down" on his heinie... and the evidence is as plain as the nose on your face... or in this case... the snows on his carcass.

who is now going to go turn on the space heater and be grateful for the relative warmth of the day.  Just looking at these pictures makes me cold!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Blogger's Block-s ?

have writer's block? Have I got the blocks for you!

okay - so these are not really for you...  because they're customized for me :)  You can make your own :)

Die 1: I've listed the people I most often blog about - ManOfTheHouse, The Veggie Teen, W, Po, H and M...
Die 2:  I've listed a few ways to present the information - Prose, Photos, Drawings, Vlog, List, and Poetry...
Die 3:  I've listed a few basic words that will hopefully trigger a memory - Saying, Style, Music, Sports, School and church...
Die 4:  A few more triggers...  First, Latest, Worst, Best, Funniest, and Most Touching.

I'm not lying, I might not be above weighting the dice a little... because I'm not quite ready to do a Vlog...  and you might not be ready for much in the way of my poetry efforts :)

but I'll give it a shot

so, this is what I rolled...
ummm... okay, maybe this isn't so easy after all...

I've gotta write a post - including drawings - to tell you about W's most touching saying?

OH!  okay... hang on...

working... working... working...

Disclaimer:  While I don't claim to be an artist of any sort - my real life pencil drawings ARE of a higher quality (or at least recognizability) than these...  (and no... recognizability isn't a word... so sue me)

Mustard (I had to label it... otherwise it looked like a traffic cone on a barrel... or a bottle of glue....)

Mother (and yes, I DID spend more time on this than the others...  I'm vain like that)

Monster - Oooooh, scary - even with his cauliflower hands... hey, drawing with a mouse isn't easy people!
You see, when W was but a wee little lad he had an "accent"...  surprisingly NOT an Irish accent despite the "wee little lad" bit...  it is best described as a cockney accent - but his speech therapist had a more technical term for it... basically it amounted to all of the above words sounding exactly the same... "mu-er"   It was cute and sweet... but yeah...  nearly everything he said was difficult to understand...  we managed to let him believe it was Mom's bad ears until he was in public school...

but THAT part of the story isn't touching at all...  unless by "touching" you mean how badly I wanted to beat his Kindergarten teacher for making him feel like an idiot....

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

experiment "FAIL"

You may or may not have noticed - but I recently turned off the word verification requirement for my comments...

Bad News: those of you who reveled in that 4 seconds I saved you per comment - it's going back on.

Good News: SEO (search engine optimization) really works.

As a matter of fact I've found out that Asian Dating Websites LOVE to leave links on past posts written by ManOfTheHouse about the gorgeous views on his latest hike. Russians too... they love this post abroad... of course, I have no idea what they've SAID about it...

Online Pharmacies and Software Utility companies think that my post about how to cut my hair (written years ago... I'm not cutting it again) is so amazing that they want to add their two cents (and their 50 links) and I quote. "Well-mannered afternoon, tons thanks in the interest putting up and developing such a wonderful resource" They love me, they really love me! (now if they just spoke English...)

iPhone advertisers and the Dixon Pencil Spambots were both attracted to my fastest blog post ever... glad it made them laugh too...

Online Casinos would love to reach the same readers that find my post about the purchase of a new Jacuzzi brand toilet...

and... well... even I am not sure about some of those links and where they lead... let's just assume they're nice wholesome links to nice wholesome businesses - despite the URLs... but hey - they liked my post about my car being attacked by Hitchcock inspired birds.

The Cheat Code people liked that one too...

and no... that's not all of them, but suffice it to say I'm sick of having to delete as many comments as I keep...

So - my apologies to those of you who are troubled by popping in those extra few letters when commenting - I'll make it up to you... you are allowed to leave off exactly that many letters from your comment. (Example - WV: uwjvy, Your Comment: This is Hila.....) You're Welcome.

More Good News - the word verifier occasionally makes for interesting conversations... I seriously once had one that said "ditto"... which probably would have been funny to comment on, except that then my comment would have read something like this: "ditto - haha, can you believe the WV came up with that one for me?" instead of "I'm really sorry to hear about losing your job, and your grandfather, and your keys - hope things turn up for you!"

Friday, February 18, 2011

a "Mommy Blogger" moment

I'm a Blogger


I'm a Mom...

I suppose that makes me a "Mommy Blogger" - and since I'm allowing myself to own that title I guess I should occasionally write about my family? You know... those kids who are shorter younger than me and live in this house.

The youngest of the kids cracks me up lately... she's finally accepted that her bangs are there to stay and we no longer have to hide the scissors. Of course, her hair is still pretty high maintenance - but that's okay because we have a lot of interesting conversations while straightening her hair... For example:
M: Mom - why can't I say the F word?
T: Umm, well sweetie - it's not a very nice word...
M: but Mom, the COUSINS can say the F word so why can't I?
T: BIG non-verbal response including widening of the eyes and a note to self to e-mail all aunts immediately and ask which of them was corrupting my sweet, innocent children.
M: They ALL say the F word Mom.
T: (finally catching on) Ummm, sweetie, what F word are we talking about?
M: you know... like "toot".

Oh THAT F word... (rhymes with Heart... and Art...) well, frankly my friends it's just not a pretty word, and I don't know WHY it bothers me so much... I just can't stand when it comes out of sweet innocent little mouths - but I suppose I like that better than when it comes out of sweet innocent behinds.

speaking of smells...

well, okay - actually we WEREN'T speaking of smells...

You see I was SEWING... inspired by Serene's patched jeans I decided that there was a little wear left in M's jeans and I needed to be a little more frugal... besides, hopefully soon she'll GROW and we can just toss these right??? M was pretty impressed with my sewing skills...
they ARE pretty cute...  and nice soft flannel inside so they won't itch :)

M: You sew good
T: Thanks, and you give me lots of things to sew - so we make a good team.
M: Grandma sews good too.
T: Well Grandma sews better than me probably.
M: (thinking a little, but seeing my logic) Yep! Grandma sews better than you
H: (who was all the way across the room and might need her hearing checked) M, that's not very nice! Mom only doesn't smell good because she just got done working out! You probably hurt Mom's feelings!
T&M: exchange of confused looks - then raucous laughter.

and then I showered... just in case.

OH! speaking of showers... (oh boy - I need to work on my segues) I went to a bridal shower the other day.

A friend of mine had made mini layer cakes out of rice krispie treats... they were adorable... M didn't care about adorable, she just wanted to eat them NOW. 
M:  When can I eat that?
ManOfTheHouse:  We weren't going to eat those - we just thought we'd look at it for awhile
M:  Noooo, I want to eat it!
M.O.T.H.:  Well, maybe you can have some of it
M:  I want the top piece
M.O.T.H.:  Okay, you can have it when you get married.
M:  (with the lower lip protruding dangerously) but, but...  that'll be DAYS!

maybe more than just a few of them...  since she's Six...

She took the top tier for her lunch treat the next day... we decided not to make her wait - and I just have to wonder... Really?  everyone knows the top tier is the smallest!?!?!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Nearly Wordless Wednesday - What Kind of Town Do I Live In?

a few - no, make that "several" - miles from my house:


What makes YOUR town/city/villa unique?


and before Tauna (my favorite frozen blogger) gets a chance to say it... Yes, I DO know why your town doesn't need this sign... but really, is "urinecicles" a word?

Monday, February 14, 2011

On this Day in History - 14th of February

Call me a romantic.

Yeah, go ahead - but quickly - it might be the first and last time you think that.

Some days (Sundays mostly) my kids are looking for things to do... recently we've done card games... which quickly deteriorates into card houses... which quickly takes a bad turn when a sibling-who-shall-not-be-named turns on the fan.
yes, they cheat with the lego boards between levels...  don't judge.

Needless to say we were in need of something different. Don't ask me how it happened because I can't tell you (okay, I CAN... but it's convoluted and boring) but we ended up looking up everyone's birth dates on Wikipedia and seeing who we shared our special days with...    Trust me... LOTS of fun... 

Warning:  be sure an adult is the one reading aloud from the Wikipedia page... because the younger ones may innocently ask if a "porn star" is anything like a "shooting star"...  to which the answer, regrettably, is no.  The former will not under any circumstances burn up in the atmosphere before causing harm

Actresses (and actors) of questionable moral character aside - the kids enjoyed this activity immensely - comparing who shared a birthday with the most kings...  seeing who shared talents with their famous cake counterparts... and trying to outdo each other with the coolest "connections"...  I'm pretty sure that in the end the kids agreed that while Popes and Kings were all well and good...  and Einstein WAS pretty cool...  Fred Rogers just couldn't be beat.

Cool Segue into Valentine's Day...  because that's the date we looked up next...  you know, that day devoted to paper hearts, chocolate candies, overpriced flowers and gluttonous sugar consumption.
okay, technically those were our new year's treats...  add some pink and you get the gist.

a brief overview of Valentines Days in the Past:

  • 1349 -  About 2,000 killed - mostly burned to death - in Strasbourg 
  • 1929 - Seven murdered in Chicago...  later to be known as the St. Valentine's Massacre
  • 1945 - World War II:  a mistaken bombing of Prague...  "oops, wrong place guys... my bad"
  • 1948 - Teller (of Penn and Teller) born... damage yet to be determined.
  • 1981 - A nightclub fire in Dublin kills 48.  
  • 1990 - 92 people are killed while their plane attempts a landing in India.
  • 1996 - Chinese rocket goes astray - crashing into a small village shortly after liftoff (6 killed, 57 injured)
  • 1998 -Oil tanker/Freight train collission and a dropped cigarette leads to the death of 120.
  • 2002 - Irish fishing boat sink killing a man, his son, and grandson... all named Michael Green.
  • 2004 - the roof of a popular Water park in Moscow collapses - 28 dead, many injured.
  • 2005 - 22 killed in a bombing targeted at a Lebanese millionaire.
  • 2008 - 6 fatalities (including gunman) and 18 injuries when a gunman opens fire at an Illinois University.
 Buzz. Kill.  (just know that I omitted at least 1/2 of the depressing entries... and all of the questionable good/bad ones... like Arizona's statehood)
(yes, I do start to think drowning my sorrows in candy and flowers is a great idea)

(yes, I was a good mom and stopped reading that to my kids...)

(yes, I am a horrible awful cynical person)

(yes, I DO realize it's probably this bad ANY day of the year... I'm not going to try to find out)

(yes, I do plan to credit Wikipedia with all my new-found and depressing knowledge)

(in fact - make me laugh... head over there and tell me who "cool" shares YOUR birthday?)

(really, can you beat Farrah Fawcett, Brent Spiner, Shakira and Pope Benedict XIII?)

Friday, February 11, 2011

to the Love of my Life (or at least my week)

Dear Love,

In the grand scheme of things it's like we just met... and yet I'm not sure how I ever got along without you. The hours we spend together are magical... I find myself wanting to sneak away for a few minutes of alone time throughout the day... even when we are separated you are in my thoughts. Just yesterday I was at the mall and found something "just right" that I knew you needed... I couldn't resist - I just had to buy it then and there.

We have SO much in common...  I mean... I love to read and you love to read with me... when I get tired of reading you are ready to move on to Sudoku or Crossword Puzzles...  so few of the people I meet in life share these passions - but you seem to really "get" me.  Side by side we've explored near and far - and you've been there as I have laughed over other funny blogs, or cried over a few sad ones...  we've BONDED.  This is not just any fleeting relationship - we have connected on a deep spiritual level while reading scriptures together even...

I know - there are a few jealousy issues going on right now, but I believe we can all find a way to co-exist and be one big happy family. Maybe I will learn to share someday - but for now it's just you and me!

My new Nook...  (well, okay - generic picture of a generic Nook... trust me, they all look the same... looks don't matter, it's what's inside that counts!)
and the beautiful green outfit I just HAD to purchase for it yesterday....


Monday, February 7, 2011

Momma's Boys...

Hey... So I hear yesterday was the big football game... something about a really big bowl? (okay, I'm not THAT clueless...)

but to be perfectly honest I had no idea who was playing until I had my hair cut on Tuesday. Who knew hairdressers were such huge football fans?

My kids? Well, Po summed up our love of all things pigskin pretty simply when he announced the teams were as follows:

That'd be the Stackers VS. the Peelers.

of course the boys DID have to know who won before going to bed... just so they could nod in the right places during school conversations tomorrow.

We're still not sure if it's the Green Bay Stackers, or Green Bay Peelers though.

images borrowed from Google images... BUT I did take the time to look for images that had Creative Commons rights so it's not really terribly evil... I'm just doing my part to not clutter up the internet anymore with extra pictures of vegetable peelers - because the internet is running out of space and I don't want that to be MY fault!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Stress Sandwich

The Bottom Piece of Bread: On Tuesday I was a basket case. Basket. Case. Really, that evening found me and my newly cut and styled hair smiling at people (like... mayor type people and that ilk) and talking up the Children's Museum project I've been working with for... well, years. Getting ready (not the hair part, I passed that off to a very nice and funny hair stylist) took all morning... and I found myself doing a little last minute laminating at the time I was supposed to arrive for set-up. oops.
It went well, though it was a tad nippy out. I can't say that it was COLD... but when our local temp goes below freezing we tend to stay indoors, wrapped in blankets, sipping hot apple cider and playing Canasta. I speak in general terms of course - because I've never played Canasta... I think it's a card game... or maybe dice?

If I thought that my readers cared about Canasta I'd look it up... but since I'm willing to bet that nobody here has much more interest in Canasta than in Shuffleboard (which, yes I DO know what is...) so you'll just be left to wonder won't you?

The Marshmallow Cream: Wednesday - well, you know about Wednesday - that's the day I not so subtly begged for well-wishes and proclamations of undying love and affection. I appreciate all the friends/family/fellow bloggers who did not disappoint. I was plenty spoiled with a brand new alarm clock that projects the time on the ceiling for when I'm too lazy to sit up to peek over ManOfTheHouse's shoulder. Oh, and a cheese slicer. Yeah... try not to container your excitement... I'm sure it's a very nice cheese slicer... ManOfTheHouse redeemed himself with a dozen roses so I'll forgive him... although it has been suggested that he receive his own useless appliance for Valentine's Day... I'm open to your recommendations on the most useless appliance of all time.

The Peanut Butter: Thursday - that's today. Well, let's just say that I probably shouldn't be spending time writing this blog post... between running to the school this morning for my "Meet the Masters" parent class* and signing up kids for soccer I am exhausted - and now it's about time to collect children and move on to the afternoon activities... which tonight include the Battle of the Bands. In addition to being my wonderful eldest child, Veggie Teen moonlights as an amazing musician. He has put down his guitar for this group though and will be on keyboards... I would ask for your sincere prayers in his behalf, but I think we've already decided that it would be hard for anyone to pray for a band called "The Aliens of Planet Rock"... but hey, if you can utter that without cracking a smile you're welcome to send whatever peace, calm and energy their way!

The Top Piece of Bread: Tomorrow? oh, not much... just sending the boys off to their Klondike (winter camping) for a little insanity - and a birthday party... and... Oh shoot... and I just remembered I need to pick up stuff for their tinfoil dinners. No worries - I've learned that a little Take 'n Bake pizza makes a perfect tinfoil dinner - fold it in half and wrap it up - Voila! Apparently eldest is supposed to leave EARLY, but we'll probably just send him up at noon with the rest of the boys... because after tonight I'm sure neither of us wants to be awake at 4 a.m. With no older boys at home I have just lost my babysitters... so no getting out for a little couples time...

and after that (surprisingly delicious but EXTREMELY unhealthy) sandwich of stress (okay, the b'day wasn't stressful, really) I was planning to collapse on the weekend...

but apparently we have two boys still at the Klondike, ManOfTheHouse and 3 kids will be spending the day with cousins a few hours away for a family baptism, and I will be at a women's conference - which will probably have a nice speaker about managing our time better. Somebody tell me not to throw anything at her 'k?

*OH! and for the record - this month we are teaching about Georgia O'Keefe and her flower paintings... apparently we're only looking at her earlier works before they got... well, a little TOO detailed... yeah... glad I get to teach the 1st graders...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

a little ditty for Groundhog's day :)

We celebrate Groundhog's Day around here EVERY year. Yep, every single one... we never miss it. of course the small ones think it necessary to blow out candles whilst looking for my shadow... but the older I get I have shunned the "birthday" element somewhat and just reveled in the groundhog part of the day.

besides, this little song has a lot more musicality to it than "Happy Birthday to You"... seriously - I'm pretty sure I've never heard a really good rendition of that one. and yes, I'm including M. Monroe's breathy "Happy Birthday Mr. President" in that list of train wrecks.

and no, I'm not ignoring the fact that I'm a titch bit older as of 7 something this morning... I'm just reveling in my 30-something status for as long as I can eke it out.

next year - for the big 4-0 I'd like a huge surprise party... anyone willing to throw it for me?

What? me? ruin the surprise by planning it myself? that's unheard of!!! (just let me know when to have the cake ready...)

I have it on good authority that my lovely S.I.L. Sher has dedicated her entire blog to the awesomeness that is me today (although I haven't read it as of this writing...) You should check it out... and let me know if you decide to follow suit (I kid, I kid...) I know that she had a hard time finding pictures of me where I wasn't making funny faces though... and for that I am sorry... and really... I have no idea why I'm always participating in ugly face contests when Sher is snapping pictures ::) (see, even my smilie is all screwy just for the occasion!)