Speaking of CostCo - here's a little ethical dilemma for you... when is stalking acceptable? I had just enough time to get home to drop off the groceries before picking up my son and neighbor from their intermediate school - but when I turned the corner I had to swerve around a piece of someone's barbecue grill there in the road... after recovering my sanity I saw that about 1/2 a block ahead of me there was a truck... with a barbecue grill in the back. Gotta be his right? So I debate (quickly) my options: 1-stop and pick it up and hope he turns around... and hope that I don't get myself killed by someone ELSE turning right... 2-forget it and get my cream pie home 3-follow him like a stalker to his house... hoping that he doesn't live too far away.
I've always wanted to be a stalker... but you know what? It wasn't that much fun... Of course, it's hard to stay hidden when you're driving a BIG BLACK SUV... He appreciated the info - and I let him worry about not getting killed by right turners. I'm just glad that he didn't live too far away!
Okay, who remembers this... Lily Tomlin in her heyday as Edith Ann... I think I remember... but as you can tell it's in black and white and I've tried to block out that part of my memory... because I'm FAR too young... right? Hey, just go with it...
I DO remember that M.O.T.H. says this is the most annoying TV character EVER...
Of course, now I have to tell you why Edith Ann is popping into my head...
I took M.O.T.H. out to lunch for his Birthday - went to Red Lobster, fully expecting a nice quiet experience... and it was fine really. Two other patrons had their birthdays - or maybe they just really wanted the free birthday brownie? M.O.T.H. isn't into public humiliation so we kept our secret to ourselves!
The only problem - As soon as I sit down I realize that the bench cushion has seen better days. Not wanting to make a big deal and knowing that we had very little time before M.O.T.H.'s next appointment - I tucked a leg under me and tried to sit up tall. Of course, I had to switch legs a few times as my circulation was lacking... I TRIED to just sit and eat, but my knees were higher than my butt... and I start the day at 4'11" - when I sit in a hole to eat that puts the table level with my neck. Great for shoveling it in, but bad for conversation.
I DID let the waitress know as we left - she was apologetic but I know she was secretly amused at the thought of me looking like Edith Ann. Oh well, we had our revenge - M.O.T.H. accidentally stole her pen** when signing the credit card receipt :)
and YES it does count that I took him out for his birthday even though he paid.... it's the thought that counts!
**if the waitress happens to be reading this - leave your comment and I'll make him drop it by!
9 comments:
I can totally relate to your Edith Ann syndrome:)
I wonder how horrible it would be of me to go any buy that 20 layer cake at Costco, and eat it all to myself?
Barb - glad to know I'm not the only one... every time I sit all the way back in a couch my legs stick straight out... I've perfected the art of perching on the edge of furniture :)
KP - save yourself the $ and just drop by and clean out my fridge... but don't touch that grey slimy thing - I'm thinking it will make a great science project someday.
Nobody in my house had better want a cake or pie that would cost 14 bucks to make....
Maybe you could have asked for a booster at Red Lobster? Or a high chair? Totally not mocking you because you're really not short enough to have to sit uncomfortably! MOTH should keep the pen guilt free for your sitting troubles.
I DID consider the whole booster thing... but we all know that my heinie would end up getting stuck!
Edith Ann is one of my alter egos! I grew up with her on Sesame Street, too, and I can't tell you how many times I pop off with her infamous "And that's the truthhhhhhhhhhh!"
Sadly, I have never experienced first hand the Vertically Challenged Syndrome. I have the opposite problem -- my knees don't fit under restaurant tables or school buses or any convertible car on the planet. I only wish I could relate or even empathize!
Ok...freaky moment here. My hubby's birthday is the 22nd as well! But now cake for him. We will go out next weekend to celebrate when everyone is home. We had balloons and soda...weird I know! We are unconventional in our house when it comes to birthdays.
Sorry April, but I'd rather celebrate at T's!
That sounds like a very healthy dinner what with the fruit and all.
And oh my gosh - Edith Ann - that brings back a lot of memories of watching her with my dad - oh wait, I'm not old enough to remember either!
That is way funneeee! I loved that Lily Tomblin! SHe totally was awesome! Way to be a stalker! That was a good deed...check that off your to-do list!
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