Thursday, June 24, 2010

My Body Went to my High School Reunion and All I Got Was This Lousy Inferiority Complex

Actually - the title is totally not true.  Sometimes a funny title pops into my head and I just HAVE to use it regardless of its bearing on the actual situation!

That said... I think a shirt with that saying would sell pretty well... 

Truth be told - I think I came away feeling pretty darn good about myself.

Was I the hottest (hawtest?) thing there?  Well, no...  unfortunately for all of us women that primped for hours that distinction probably has to go to the one guy there who wouldn't have cared if all of us women WERE Victoria's Secret SuperModels and showed up in our "work attire"... his interests lay in other areas - and it's totally unfair that he showed us all up :)

However - I do look aMAZingly fit and young for a mother of 5 children.  There was some serious jaw dropping around the room as person after person found out I had that many kids... I like to think it's because I looked so trim (do NOT tell me it's because they were trying to figure out how to break it to me that I'm single handedly overpopulating the earth).  One thing:  I think it should be against the laws of nature to battle zits and wrinkles on the same skin... nobody in the complaint department has listened to me on this one yet though so I showed up at my reunion with a monster zit (well hidden by make-up) and trying desperately to hold my face "just so" to minimize the visible wrinkles :)

Was I the Most Successful?  Not by a long shot (hello, have you ever MET me and heard about my "job" that is otherwise categorized as "volunteering").  Funny thing - this one doesn't bother me AT ALL.  Pretty much anyone in that room (including the drunk gate crashers) had more credentials behind their name - but I'm raising a tremendously wonderful bunch of kids, I've got a "job" that allows me to be a mom, I've got a husband who is not only a "good guy" but is a superb dad and my best friend...  and I've got a phenomenally popular blog to boot. * (Ummm, Kristina - just smile and say "Hi" if there are any comments about how good it was to see you at the reunion - thanks!)

The Happiest?  I'm just going to go ahead and say YES to this one... though I'm sure there might have been a tie or two...  I think I was certainly the most "over" the high school mentality... seriously guys - it's been long enough that I DON'T care who was nasty to whom in high school, who stole who's boyfriend/girlfriend, or who beat out whom for the lead in the musical... really.  Over.  It. 

Most Sober?  Yep, that was TOTALLY my title - all by my little lonesome water drinking self.  (okay, on night two I had some competition... but not much!)

A moment to never be forgotten:

R.P. - chatting me up all night and me trying HARD to "place his face" to no avail...  to realize FOUR hours into the party that he has me badly confused with another short brunette.

R.J. - STAUNCHLY defending my honor and betting actual CASH against R.P.'s memory of me cursing him out in a tirade fit to shame a sailor.

K.H. - freely admitting that it was entirely possible that SHE was that short brunette in question.

So - to everyone who was there (and it turns out I DO have readers in the class - or shall I call them "lurkers" since they never COMMENT!) - you guys ROCK!  I wish I'd gotten more chances to visit with everyone... as I was reviewing pictures I realized there were one or two I never even got to talk to at all...  I swear, it wasn't a snub... I was probably rubbing my very sore feet - those shoes were NOT meant for a six hour party!!! 
and to those of you who live nearby and had lame excuses... even if your wife IS one of my BBFFs (best bloggy friends forever), or if I've known you since we were four years old... you are lame.  I love you, but you're still lame.  "Lame"-ness to be removed upon a sincere apology and perhaps an explanation of why Safeway did away with my favorite Ice Cream Flavor some time in the past 20 years.  Seriously - did you guys not buy enough White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookie Dough Crescendo to keep it in demand???  What were you thinking????

*fine, fine, fine... I didn't lie to everyone about the blog...  it WOULD have been funny though.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

that was rightly said but you could have had a juice. JEJC

T said...

ah Joel... I would have, but (and it's NOT a religious thing) I actually don't do Sugar so well... gotta keep up the semi-svelte figure until at least the 30th... THEN I'll let myself go :)

Megz said...

I don't really think you're over not being the lead in the musical. But everything else I believed you about. Three cheers to 5 kids, stone cold sober and the most popular blog!

One Cluttered Brain said...

HA! I am glad you had a good time!!
You didn't get any pictures of you with anybody?
Just shoes?
LOL!

T said...

psssh - Alexes - you want pictures, check out the facebook album... too many to upload here :) and shoot those shoes were blog-worthy (mine are the brown ones... FOUR inches of pure hotness and pain)

Krista said...

Love high school reunions! I just got together with some friends from H.S. last night for dinner and it was awesome. I know some of them better now than I did then. It's fun hanging out with kids your same age, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

well you could finally take all the pics off your camera.... wait why would you want to do that lol. jejc

Kimakazi said...

Tonya you summed it up perfectly. The party was fun....I hope someday your crazy friends get to meet your fam!

Middle Bro said...

It was good to have you here for a few days... we don't see enough of you, Q and all the small ones who aren't so small any more. You always make me chuckle, sis.

Love ya.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I went to my ten year class reunion, but turns out I was so over high school I was sad I had spent the money to get there. No need to go again. Glad you had fun and thought it was worth it though.

S said...

I love your thinking, and those shoes!!!

I'm so glad you had a great time; listening to you talk about it made me wish I had been a fly on the wall there and maybe, just maybe go to mine next year.

Barbaloot said...

So far I think RJ is the best. Would've loved to see someone defending your honor:)

Annette Lyon said...

I hope my 20th goes so well in 2 years. Those were rockin' hot shoes, my friend.

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

Sounds like you had a great time. Good for you! I love seeing old friends and catching up. And I'll bet they were impressed that you're a hot momma of five. ;)

Charlotte said...

I wasn't invited to my 10th and probably not my 20th either, but that is okay, I would be the one mistaking people for wrong people and accosting them all night with erroneous memories.

Garden of Egan said...

The shoes are pretty darling. I knew you would be the belle of the ball!
Sounds like you had a great time!

Lisa said...

Okay, first off~GREAT shoes. Doesn't matter that you're crippled. Beauty IS pain. Let's always remember that. Second, happy trumps hawt every day of the week. Last, I want a picture of said "scene stealer", or I'm just going to imagine the worst.

Holly said...

I'm with Lisa... SCENE-STEALER should be BLOG WORTHY!! LOL!! (Shhh... I'm one of the lame ones that hasn't gone to any reunions...)

just the five of us said...

Okay first of all, I LOVE the shoes. Question how tall are you with those babies on?? YOU had to be taller than some of the reunion friends with those things on:)

My 25th is next year, and I am hoping to go and check it out. (my class is so lame, that we didn't even have a 20th who knows we not even have a 25th)

cold cocoa said...

I wore my tall shoes to church today and was taller than the whole row in front of me! Purely miraculous.
Good job for going to your reunion and coming away feeling great!

SWIRL said...

you are the bestest... and it doesn't suprise me one bit you were one of the happiest married people at your reunion...
:0) or most sober-- good girl!

I had to laugh- and hard..

my reunion is coming up.. 20 year!! reunion... and cannot make it.. but would I? would I have the courage?

Living the Scream said...

okay you are braver than me. I did not even go to my reunion at all.
That ice cream flavor sounds so good I want some right now.

T said...

Ha! Love this post.

Just went to my reunion recently too... too funny and WAY enjoyable!

I had to stop by and say hello to another T! :)