Sunday, August 29, 2010

what everyone needs... according to Google.

so, normally I'm not REAL big on memes...  but every once in awhile they give me a good giggle - and this one I haven't seen before tonight on the facebook page of an OLD friend (really old, I mean... oh wait... we went to High School together.  make that a young vibrant friend)

The "thing" - and to make this LOTS of fun you may have to open up another window...

Now, type in "_______ needs"  - include the quotes, but try to remember to replace the underscore part with your actual first name... trust me, it's just funnier that way.

My top hits?  Let's see now....  Ta-dah...

1-Tonya needs to get a life/Tonya needs a job (same page... so I'm only counting it once... although I refuse to believe that a job and a LIFE are the same thing)

2-oh wait... hmmm, that next one is from a questionable website - let's just say that I'm not clicking on anything with the teaser line "top ten ways to please your man" because I'm guessing it's not going to say "Tonya needs to cook dinner earlier" which is probably true.

3-Tonya needs to learn to slack up on the booze.  Hmmm...  apparently cousin Debbie and cousin Tonya are having it out online and saying nasty things about their sobriety issues...  glad that one's not really me!

4-Tonya needs your help.  This may or may not have been  a touching YouTube video...  I don't think I can do any more "touching" things today.  Touching my computer keys is just about all I can do.

5-Tonya needs "yo digits" - I added the quotation marks... lest you all think that was MY idea to advertise for anyone's "digits".  Please, keep all of your digits to themselves.  Part of me knows that people use the term "digits" to refer to phone numbers, another part of me fears that someone is collecting fingers and toes.

6-Tonya needs a share in Salem, Mass - apparently this is now an acceptable way to advertise for a roommate?

7-Tonya needs to go on Jenny Craig - I swear, I do not make these up...  while I'm not a fan of Tonya Harding this was just a little rough...  it must be hard keeping off the weight when she is not allowed to do the one exercise she loves?   You burn a lot of calories whacking people's kneecaps, if they'd let her keep that up I'm sure she'd still be as svelte as she was during the olympics...  I mean now I hardly think she'd be flexible enough to stick her poor unlaced skate up past her knee.

8-Tonya needs your help (again) - I only include this title again because unlike the first potentially touching one this Tonya needs nails for her FrontierVille game app and Paint Buckets for some other some such nonsense.  Don't get me wrong... I enjoy a relaxing game now and then - but I am also glad this is not ME hitting the top ten on Google for my supply begging.  BUT if you happen to have sugar in Restaurant City... you know where to find me :)

9-Tonya needs a reminder of what a sexual being she is - Ummm, I'm going to refrain from comment.

10-Tonya needs someone to do her taxes, mow her lawn, trim her trees and put her extra fabric up on eBay.  Ummm... good luck with that Tonya (the other Tonya... well, one of the MANY other Tonyas)

11- Tonya needs sleep (that one was not on Google... that one is true...  it's getting late and I want this to post tomorrow while I'm at the library looking for something fresh and new to read)

So... go ahead - don't be afraid (for crying out LOUD it can't get any worse than mine right???) type it in and share your favorite result :)

15 comments:

Heather B said...

I tried this little experiment of yours, and while I totally agree that "Heather needs a vacation", my favorite must be "Heather needs a ROYAL BEATDOWN!!!" Not making that up--apparently it's referring to a character on the Young and the Restless, or something like that. (shrugging cluelessly) Weird.

MommyJ said...

Apparently, all I need is to ease up on the eye makeup a little. Word for word, that's what it said. Right below "jenny needs to die." Um gee. This exercise has been so inspiring.

Saimi said...

I don't need Google to tell me what I already know, Saimi needs more sleep and more summer vacation!

Barbaloot said...

This was the first response: "Barbara needs to move her focus from herself to others and learn to love in order to receive love from other people."

I don't like this game.

Gina said...

I tested it, and it's worse.

"GINA" generally goes with some less-than-savory characters. I apparently need to be "F****", I need welfare, I need to STFU (Bless you if you don't know what that stands for) and I need to borrow some money.

I also need votes on American Idol.

Kristina P. said...

I need to start saying "Yo digits" more.

Missy said...

Missy needs Her Medicine! LOL This is right on!

S said...

That was fun! Apparently I need help, a lot. Yep, I do! And my favorite - "S needs to prod them into action and direct them along the lines of her vision!"

Teachinfourth said...

I remember doing this a long time ago. It was kind of fun. I just tried it with "teachinfourth needs" but it had no results.

Sigh.

T said...

that's it, I'm going to make sure that in my next post I put in that Teachinfourth needs a slice of key lime pie... just so Google will have something for your search. And hey, really, who doesn't need key lime pie?

Bridget said...

Mine weren't as funny as yours. Mine were about "needing" to educate a person that gays are just like others. a dog needing a hair cut. (apparently I am a terrier) needing a home. to let go of a man. needs to change her myspace profile to which I thought I think I do still have one so maybe thats true?? needs to go shopping, that would be nice. but still none were really cute or funny. yours were much better.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hahaha

You crack me up, girlfriend. You are actually funnier than the meme thingie.

Heidi said...

I would do this but I'm afraid--in light of Heidi Montag and all her needs.

LC said...

Dirty Laura needs a wash!
What the heck?! That WAS fun!

Kate said...

This is a good one!