I might have mentioned awhile back that I went to my class reunion. What I might have failed to mention was that it was a sparsely attended affair. By no means am I the only member of my graduating class who has children - and I can even name 4 other class members who have MORE children than I... but none of them were there... so my five children was a SHOCKER to the assembled crowd. SO much of a shocker that one classmate said "Man, you have a slew of children"... seriously. I laughed at his choice of words... and have spent the past months wondering... is there a guideline out there for what constitutes a slew... or several... or even many?
Well, my friends - I have found no such guide. Granted, I haven't even tried asking at WikiAnswers (sorry sis) so perhaps such a thing does exist already... but that just wouldn't be as funny now would it?
So, without further ado... I present - the definitions of enumerations... (wait, not sure that makes sense either...)
a Couple - this is not up for debate - a couple is two, a couple MUST be two... seriously - love triangles may make interesting teen-angst vampire werewolf novels... but a couple is a couple is a couple and always equals two. thanks for understanding.
a Few - "few" just has to come after a couple... let's just say that "few" can mean 3... or even 4...
Handful - ummm, guys - this isn't rocket science - a handful is 5. I have a handful of children. (my apologies to any of you six fingered people out there... if you want, you can extend "handful" up to the number 6... see, I can be sensitive to special needs too!)
Several - I don't know why - but Several means Seven to me... okay, so I know WHY... I'm just not sure it's a universal truth... Let's go ahead and let "several stand for 7 OR 8... so I won't be accused of typecasting poor 7 just because it has a few of the same letters! (ha, did you just glance up to make sure I used "few" correctly... I did.)
Many - 9... or 10... or 11 even... of course, if you repeat the word (i.e. - I have Many many many books in my house the number grows exponentially. 3 manys is about a thousand in the case of books...)
Bunches - the vague number references are getting more vague about this point... or perhaps I am getting more vague? It IS getting late after all! Bunches is going to work for anything from 12 to 36... preferable keeping them in dozens if you can. Thanks - I like things to work out nice and even. (you know... "bunches" of flowers? probably dozens right?)
A Slew - NOT a slough by the way... I promise. (I looked it up to be sure) This implies more than 40 to me. I DO have a slew of relatives... but NOT a slew of children.
Tons - this one is tricky since ton is an actual unit of measure... 2000 pounds. So in order to accurately say "I have a TON of pictures to go through" or "I did a TON of laundry this weekend" I'd have to measure... let's just say I'm rounding up though. (I'm sure I've mentioned before that I'm no good at math)
A Crapload -crass, yes... but this can replace "ton" in the above sentences without worries of accuracy... you might however begin to worry about offending those around you. Use at your own risk... just avoid using it for anything under the number 40... because those are already taken.
"Plenty" - is subjective... I mean, I can say I have "plenty" of dish detergent... which probably means enough to get me through the month... "plenty" of money though? If I ever say I have plenty of money you can bet that it will be enough to get me through more than a month. Ditto for "enough".
my kids also suggested "heckuvalot" - I wasn't sure if that was more than bunches... or less...
John 18:20 -- On the Open Access Gospel
17 hours ago