Conspiracy Theories...

Some days are just not meant to go as planned.

Today is one of those days.  By 9:30 this morning I had given up on getting any of the planned activities done.

5:40 - alarm goes off
6:00 - I go on my morning walk/therapy session
7:00 - I return home. 
7:05 - I make sure that T and W are awake... they are (so far so good)
7:06 - M tells me her stomach is hurting - I recommend going to the bathroom (c'mon, you know that 99% of the time this is the problem!)
7:08 - Po tells me his eyes hurt.  No visible signs of redness, please get ready for school.
7:10 - H tells me her arm is sore.  I check it.  ManOfTheHouse has a look.  No obvious signs of damage - but I do offer to help her with her hair since her arm is sore.
7:12 - T is annoyed because W just jumped in the shower - making them both a bit later than they should be.
7:13 - M is still groaning and telling me her tummy hurts but declares that perhaps a good toot would make it feel better.  I recommend going outside for a few minutes because the fresh air might help.  (the sweet innocent thing didn't even suspect my ulterior motive)
etc... etc... etc...
I made the lunches, I did some laundry, I got them all out the door (on time!) and to their respective schools.  I then began to re-arrange the family room (anyone want a slightly used old reddish orange couch?) since we're expecting a furniture delivery shortly.

Then... the phone rings...  Yep, I'm a crappy mom.  M had barely finished her bell work at school before proving definitively that her stomach was really hurting... and not just from some trapped gases.  I'll be there as soon as possible.  Right?

Problem #1 - I'm still wearing my walking clothes.  Solution - who cares, rip off the socks and wear sandals.

Problem #2 - My glasses are broken.  Solution - pop in my contacts, quickly.

Problem #3 - Solution... no really... my contact solution.  I forgot I'd purchased a NEW kind of contact solution that apparently ONLY works with their fancy contact lens container...  which MUST must MUST be allowed to sit for a minimum of 6 hours before the solution is neutralized and therefore NOT like pouring Hydrogen Peroxide onto your eyeball.

Say it with me - OUCH!

no... much louder than that...

but really...  it's 3 1/2 hours later and I'm still squinting and typing with only one usable eye.

BUT - I got to the school... I managed to cram the broken glasses onto my face, held in place by my sunglasses and drove up there in record time.  Changed her clothes, wrapped her in a towel and walked her (shoeless) out to the car.  Got her home and settled on the brown couch (now you know why I'm only offering the red one up for adoption) while I continued to gut the family room - with brief breaks to start another load of laundry... or 3.

The delivery came - my new couch is on the back porch hiding from the sun because the room is FAR from ready...  how am I supposed to move out a couch occupied by a now sleeping M?

Me?  I should be running to the library (ummm... yeah, can't drive without my contacts - maybe in 6 hours?), I should be making Girls Night Out plans for October (I swear... I'll get right on that... after I shower), I should be making dinner (hmmm... somehow nothing is appealing to me after the clean-up I've been doing), and of course, after my long weekend absence I should be checking out some of the blogs I missed (I will, as long as little miss M stays asleep for a few more minutes!)

Now let's just all cross our fingers that I don't get two MORE phone calls from the schools letting me know that the sore arm and the itchy eyes are actually some horrible thing!

(I swear - just as I typed that the phone rang... luckily it was just M.O.T.H. - calling to sympathize from his relatively safe and puke-free existence)